Month: August 2018

I’ve been feeling very stressed.

1. I haven’t found a place to live for September 1st. I can live with Masha, but I’m worried that it’s too much. I’m worried that I won’t have enough privacy or alone time to be focused and productive.
   1. Solution: Spend time in a library. You can walk there!
   2. Spend a week or more in Victoria for a change of scenery. Go to library there too.
2. I’m not sure about continuing my relationship with John. It’s really stressful because I kind of enjoy time with him and I kind of can’t stand him. I love being loved. I love that someone cares for me. I love so many things about him. But the sense of humour, cheapness, bad conversationalist – killer bad traits. Cheapness can be fixed. Conversation skills can be learned. Sense of humour at this age, that’s harder.
   I wish so much that we can be the one for each other. He seems to be the closest to what I want so far! How I wish that he was just more funny. So many people are….why can’t he be? If he was funny, other things are all good. He is pretty much perfect. Sigh. I’m so sad about it. I don’t want to break up with him. Right now I’d rather have him than not have him.
   Good:
   1. He is so sweet. He is trying his best to be an attentive boyfriend, I can tell. He really wants to make it work.
   2. I do miss him when he is away and I look forward to seeing him.
   3. When we talked on the phone, I actually felt closer to him. He was really good at encouraging me, and he can make me laugh.
   4. He is hot. Great face, great body, great smile, beautiful penis of just the right size. Perfect height.
   5. He has his life together.
   6. He drives me and opens the door for me. Super sweet.
   7. He texts me good night every night.
      The Bad:
   8. He is so boring. Honestly. He is a terrible conversationalist and story teller. He doesn’t talk about deep stuff or very interesting stuff. He doesn’t really find what I say to be funny. His sense of humour is so weak it’s unbearable.
   9. He doesn’t seem to have (good) friends.
   10. He is stingy and cheap.
   11. He seems hung up on the past. He can’t open up very well. His dad’s passing away. Maybe even his ex.
   12. Sex is not quite fulfilling. But I wasn’t even that turned on by him.
3. Business sliding
   1. It’s been a while. I want to make it grow!
   2. I’m taking steps to achieving that though. I’m going to the Orange Hat conference.