Month: June 2023

1. Two weeks of lower spine pain – very humbling experience. Thinking about aging, self-reliance, happiness that comes from health and mobility and sports, sadness that comes from the pain, activity limitation, and physically unable to reach 100%.
2. Still missing Brian, but know that I gotta pull through and get over him
3. Amazon hit all time high in sales! $4589USD on Jun 10, 2023!!
4. Shopify doing well too. Hit $1.7K 3 times this week!!
5. Etsy is not doing well.
6. No spikeball nor volleyball – feeling very lonely and inactive at times
7. Sitting for a while hurts, standing for a while hurts. Walking for a while hurts. Bending over – nope, can’t. Getting out of bed, hurts. Today is better though (12th day)
8. Used Magic Wand as a massager the past couple of days. Though, also got some REALLY good orgasms the past couple of days
9. Eating poke makes me happy (salmon in general makes me happy). Contentment is the word. Steaks and clams seem to make me horny (very nutritious). Ox tail is such a tasty treat too. I’m very lucky to be able to enjoy these foods without worrying about money.
10. I don’t like it when people on Hinge talk about food though. Feels like there are more important things in life (when it comes to relationships) to talk about than food. Personalities, deal makers, deal breakers
11. Dating people my age in my 40s is like trying to adopt a senior cat instead of a kitten. It’s really hard to find a handsome, healthy one with good energy.
12. Trying out Transcendental Meditation. So far I just make the Om sound as I walk around (silently or out loud). It seems to do something.
13. Tried the Jasmin ice cream and Oreo ice cream sandwich from Mister. Omg. I haven’t been touched by ice cream in a long time.
14. Had an amazing afternoon nap (preceded by an amazing orgasm) this afternoon. Woke up to the warm sunshine beaming onto my ass. It felt good. Enjoyed these small pleasures in life, especially today!
15. Walked in the sun for hours (3 hours perhaps) today. I wore my super old (and still beloved) denim mini skirt, and let my mid drift show, because I wanted to tan the lower part of my belly. I had a clear tan line through my belly button that I wanted to even out lol. Figure still good these days despite 2 weeks without sports. Still have a bit of 11 muscles. Faint though.
16. Saw an email from Sean Frank saying that he is now doing 7 figure months with their rings. A little deflating. But I gotta remember that he has this media powerhouse behind his brand. One day I’ll get there too. Wished I had Brian to talk to.
17. Briefly talked to Jackson about the CanExport grant. He is doubling again this year (from $3M last year). That makes me jelly. He said they are spending more on ads. That inspired me to spend more on ads.
18. Decided to spend $120K more on ads for the rest of this year. The hope is to reach $2.5M revenue with this spend increase.
19. Going to start Stack Influence soon. Hope it works out well.
20. Started Commit Action on June 1st. Nick is pretty good. I did get more done the past week (Week 1). So far so good!
21. Bryce is doing great. Alyssa too. Nicole not so much but she is a loyal friend.
22. VAs doing well too. Dale better after the raise to $7USD/h. Yana now at $5USD/h. Faroo at $3USD/h.
23. Gotta appreciate the good when it’s good. Too often we appreciate the good times when it’s not good anymore.
24. I don’t like aging. I don’t like that health is harder to come by. I’m, frankly, scared. I look around and my friends in their 40s are all going downhill in various ways. Health, intelligence, energy. I’m one of the few that is still doing well, but the spine muscle spasm hit me totally by surprise! I realize that, we have peaked, in many ways. I mean, if I try very hard, I can maintain at peak-ish level for a while yet. 10, 20 years maybe. Youth-wise, it’s hard to accept being an old member of the society instead of the young and relevant members. I guess there’s a bunch of us – gen x, xennials, and millenials,  all aging together. We are never alone.
25. I feel lonely though. The volleyball fam is no longer. We haven’t met up in a long time. Our bond was weaker than I thought.
26. How I wish to just go for a long walk with Brian or just cuddle with him to watch a movie together (and talk about it). I know I’m romanticizing how fun it’ll be to spend time with him…but pretty sure he’s the best option I’ve got. Ty used to be really fun to hang with. Of course he is still very funny, and smart, but we seem to have less in common these days. He asked to hang out twice in the past week. That hasn’t happened in a long time, so that was nice (though I wondered why). It was fun, but it wasn’t as fun as it used to be. He is really into Burning Man and I’m not. He is focused on making his Popcorn stand these days, and I’m not into it.
27. My electric scooter is pretty awesome. Too bad there’s no spikeball to go to…I should use it more to do other things with though! Maybe visit friends or go further out, such as to the West End.
28. Cyndi bought a house! So happy for her. We are closer these days, voice messaging each other quite often, more than we message anyone else. Sometimes I feel that she still doesn’t get me though. Like, no one gets me. No one ever. I feel like I understand her a bit more than she understands me though.
29. I learned that to really turn myself on, I imagine Brian telling me how into me he is, and being very physically proactive and horny with me. Like, pinning me agains the wall at ECF Live and just pound me hard, while telling me how I’m so amazing, beautiful, and sexy. I know that IRL he will never do it…sigh…it’ll just be my fantasy. Funny how I didn’t even find him attractive at first, and now he is the cutest guy and the guy I want to make out with the most. But, I don’t think he’ll reach out to me any time soon, or ever. It’s sad. I have to stay strong. I won’t dwell on it. I’ll focus on growing Knot Theory.
30. I really need to think outside the box with Knot Theory. Our process, our marketing. I will. I will ask more “right” questions to get my brain churning.
31. I feel more motivated and got more done since Commit Action. That’s good! This weekend, I was lonely and wished to have a good friend to talk and walk with, but at the same time felt fine that I got more work done, including clearing my mailbox down to 38 emails (from the consistent ~150 for the past few months)! Also wrote down all the action items below on the whiteboard.
32. I also have been watching Avatar the Last Airbender. I just LOVE this show. I can’t wait for the live action series to come out! I think it’s almost impossible to outdo the animated series though.
33. My wish: have a best friend who gets me, loves me, and lives here. And that we are super attracted to each other and that we can date, make out passionately, make love, laugh, play, have fun, build e-commerce businesses, inspire each other, and motivate each other.

This weekend:

1. Design summer rings to launch
2. Get a sense of which rings we should promote via influencers (have qty for)
3. Get a count of Fred’s SCR pre-engraved, SCF pre-engraved sales velocity, so we know how many to order from Fred (maybe new designs too, such as skulls)

Summer rings:

1. Green leaves (monsterra)
2. Filigree –  make prettier with help of Joy
   1. https://all-free-download.com/free-vector/download/beautiful_floral_seamless_borders_vector_set_578489.html
3. Lace – great for wedding
4. Polynesian tribal tattoos – turtle, waves, sun / tiki face, shark teeth, spearheads