Talking lots with Matthew

Matthew came over. I hadn’t seen him for a month.

I decided to wear my ombre purple top and ripped denim shorts, and my purple wig. He was wearing a white top. He looked good. He looked so young.

He brought a shower gel for me. His brand.

It was so hot here. We made out, chatted, had very sweaty hot oily sex. It was good, but somehow I was not as giggly as I usually am.

Maybe it’s because I hardly ate that day…hoping to stay thin for him.

My hair was in the way. He said why don’t you change to a different one. Not, why don’t you go without a wig though.

He came fairly early. I showered using the gel he brought, and it was really nice. Eucalyptus and tea tree oil.

Today’s theme was…talking a lot. We talked a lot in bed, we talked on the balcony, and we talked when he tried to perform again. He ended up not being able to….he was too tired. But that’s ok.

I think there’s more of a friendship developing today, seeing how much we talked.

We talked about the process of him learning the piano, his fear of roller coasters and needles, his mom being adapted and his grandma didn’t want to meet his mom at 72 yo (She was only 14 when she gave birth!)

We stood on the balcony in our towels, chatting. I rested my arms around his right hip, my chest pushed up to his side. I was using his body to hold my towel up, haha. It was really nice just chatting and laughing with him on this cool summer night.

He saw Brown’s Social House, and said the food was good. He suggested that maybe we can go there one time. I was surprised that he’d suggested that. My reflex answer was to suggest that we bring the food back and eat naked on the balcony. I would be cautious about going out on an actual date with him….it’s not fair to me or to his gf. But maybe if it’s a super sexual dinner, then possibly.

In bed, he told me about his ability to control his ejaculation. He said his first time having sex, at 15, he was traumatized. He came in 5 seconds, and the girl laughed at him. Gossiped about it. He didn’t have sex for a year. Aw.. I would’ve been flattered if the guy came in 5 seconds the first time we had sex.

I’m surprised he told me something this personal. I don’t know if this was meaningful, him telling me so many personal things today, but I think it must be. Though he didn’t ask me a whole lot of questions. I think that’d be the real sign of him valuing me and falling for me.

Besides, he has a lot of secrets. For example, having a gf and never mentioning his gf. Almost never.

We do have a good time together. Conversation flows and we laugh a lot. We kiss a lot.

I had told him that one of my fantasies was getting a massage and that leading to sex. First time around, he was already fucking me, so it didn’t feel like my fantasy.  Second time around, he oiled me up, gave me a massage first. I was like, What’s your name? haha. He said, “Jackson”. OMG. If only he knew that I made out with Jackson. I couldn’t play along anymore. I didn’t pretend to call his name. But we joked around and I said Jackson “felt” like a black person.

Later on as we were getting dressed, he put on my purple ombre shirt, and pretended to be one of those muscle guys in their muscle tees. Well…that would be Patrick. The person he made fun of, was basically Patrick, lol.

I like that he did stay for me the entire time, and didn’t go to his events.

He just seemed much more talkative today. And in bed, he lied on me, facing me, when we talked.

When he left, we kissed so many times at the parking lot. He said thanks for having me, as usual. I said thanks for “coming” and we joked about it. When he got home, he messaged me as usual. Super cute.

I gotta remember: My musts are:

  1. Must love me without hair
  2. Must love me for being my unique self
  3. Must be monogamous

 

Day 9 of Time Budgeting: Slippin’…

Well, got up early today, but didn’t even get around to planning the day.

I did do my positives (short and sweet after learning that Tony Robbins only spends 3~10 minutes on this). I did do exercise (new abs work out). I did a few things I knew I had to do today (mailed rings to Midland Athletics, called to get my taxes sorted out and book my car for service/tire change).

Then I ate and watched Golden Girls. Cleaned the house a bit.

Then before I knew it, it’s 7pm.

I’m depressed.

I think I still haven’t got over the car accident I had about 2 days ago 🙁

 

99Designs

1. A glittery tiara that says “Bride”
2. A glittery diamond ring
3. Two tilted champagne glasses with gold glitter bubbly in them
4. Two martini glasses filled with pink martinis
5. Two pouty red lips (can put words on them – see ideas in the list)
6. A big lipstick (can put words on it )
7. A big pink heart that says “It’s Love”
8. A pair of cat-eye glasses (can put words on top rim)
9. “Warning: Bachelorette Party in Progress”
10. “All the single ladies”
11. “She said yes”
12. “Sh*t just got real!”
13. “Oh Snap!”
14. “I’m next!”
15. “Feyoncé”
16. “He put a ring on it!”
17. “Go hard bitches!”
18. “Love my girls!” (Maybe on a bra shape? ;))
19. “Single Tonight”
20. “Bride’s Wing Girl”
21. “Last Hurrah!”
22. “HOT MESS”
23. “Let’s do this!”
24. “More Bubbly!”

  1. Let’s replace the top right design (“Bride” crown) with a big arrow that says “Brides’s Wing Girl”
  2. “Love my girls” – Let’s make the font stand out more! (Maybe bigger font size for “Love” and “Girls”, and black font colour)
  3. The “Bride” tiara – I love it! But it’s hard to cut out (Too many small empty spaces inside the swirls). Let’s do just a few swirls…a simple tiara.
  4. The diamond ring – It’s my fave! Would like a curved text “Feyoncé” on the gold ring part. Small font is ok.
  5. Let’s tweak these designs slightly so they can be cut-outs:
    1. Champagne glasses (Empty space in the glasses – make it white)
    2. Martini glasses (Black skewers – shorter, and thicker at the top. Empty space inside the glasses – white. Liquid – pink so the olives stand out.)
    3. “Single tonight” (All text needs to be attached to the eye glasses – can reference Aleksey Blue‘s eye glass designs)
    4. “Let’s do this” (Same as above)

 

Day 8 of Time Budgeting: Back on Track

Positive Vibe:

Great weather, light air. My new JLaw-look-alike wig photo (Eva Gabor) got over 120 likes on FB! That’s a new record. Love getting positive comments haha. Got potential volleyball partners from FB.

Planning:

Woke up before 7 today! Because I accidentally passed out around midnight I think. I like to lie down and think about Matthew, but then I either feel like masturbating or I fall asleep.

This morning I ate a yummy breakfast  I made. Blueberries and nectarine and peach, then scrambled eggs, tomatoes, onions, garlic and spicy and basil olive oil.

Then I felt like lying down, masturbated, and woke up again at 10. Men. I need to rid this habit.

I miss Matthew so much. I really hope to see him this weekend. He just got back from Whistler, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he is busy this weekend, and then next weekend I’ll be in Victoria, and after that I’ll have my period again. This makes me sad. He was busy two weekends in a row. If he is busy this third weekend, then, it really is a problem, isn’t it?

I don’t know what I want. I really like fucking him. I like a lot of other things about him too. I probably can’t find someone as compatible any time soon. But how do I not feel disappointed all the time?

I guess I need distraction. I need to have more guys around me. It’s time to hit Tinder and/or OkCupid.

And I need to go to the beach often. The chance of meeting someone I like seems slim, but at least I gotta try.

Ok, almost 11am…let’s get on with the planning!

  1. Return mailing label for Jashley
  2. Mail grey line ring (Canada)
  3. Refund Tim for bow tie return
  4. Laundry
  5. Calculate Elena payment for June (minus $500)
  6. Post more rings on knotheory.com (and etsy)
  7. Post hand photos of new coloured rings
  8. Interview at 7pm

Tomorrow:

  • Return wig
  • Drop off more rings with Elena
  • Send USA parcel to to Midland Fitness Store
  • silver ring planning – how to gift to previous customers, how to do xmas gift-friendly packaging?
  • gold ring planning – colour swatches
  • dice name
  • Add more rings to etsy (women’s solid bevel, men’s too)
  • car servicing

THREE SERVICE OFFERS TO WELCOME YOU BACK.
Redeem your choice by presenting this email or say promo code “Destination700” when checking in at Reception*.
BOOK YOUR SERVICE APPOINTMENT ONLINE
OR CALL 604.571.4399

  • contact Cyril reference

Downtown:

  1. Have Norm test out the rings
  2. Smell perfume at Hollister

 

 

Day 6 of Time Budgeting: weekend off!

I decided that weekends are for taking some time off work and planning.

It was so beautiful out today! I played a bit of volleyball with Norm, then rushed back to 2 interviews…but neither of them happened! What! Not sure why….

Matthew posted to my timeline for the first time. A bunny video.

That was a cute surprise! I can’t wait to see him.

I wonder if this means he missed me? He posted a photo of a puppy malamute too, saying that’s all he found in Whistler. Said that she is a resident dog and he’ll get to watch her grow up because he is up there often. Is it trying to show off? To whom? Mom? My friends? Because I already know that he goes there…

But I guess I shouldn’t think much of it. Sigh. He is just a fuck buddy. So hard to accept, but logically he is best as a fuck buddy. I can’t trust him to be a good boyfriend even if he wants to be my boyfriend. I won’t even think about it…I don’t want to be disappointed.

Still, it turns me on that he is thinking about me.

 

Day 5 of Time Budgeting: Parties

I didn’t really have plans for today. It was a nice break. I felt like I worked hard yesterday.

Actually, I worked hard today too. I was up early and working on getting my listings fixed. Finally got everything fixed by around 1pm. Wrapped the gifts, and went to Masha and Brodie’s parties!

Masha and Brodie have the same birthday, same party date, on different beaches! And they both did/do website development and branding lol!

Masha’s Kits party was fun. I met some cool people! She has so many gorgeous girl friends….what’s up with these Russians!

The coolest part was meeting Stas and Lana – a couple who are doing well on Amazon! Me and Stas talked quite a bit about FBA. He knows a fair bit! I quite like this couple. Though, he has a friend who is selling silicone wedding rings, so I don’t know how much we can share. Then again, I have a friend who sells kitchen products.

A guy at the party, Alex, was into me. He wasn’t bad looking, but not super good looking. He was very touchy….no ambiguity here. I don’t know… kind of don’t want to waste time hanging out with someone who clearly wants to be more than friends. He is nice though. And it’s kinda cool that he spent 10 years living in Spain, and said his Spanish was better than his Russian.

Met a girl Natalia. Holy shit she had a nice body. Nicer than mine. She seemed interested in being friends though.

I hitched a ride with Stas and Lana, went to their place in Yaletown. They live in Yaletown! I love it here in this 2 bedroom condo in Burnaby, but I am more and more enticed to live in Yaletown. Masha lives in Yaletown too. Matthew lives in Yaletown too…but that’s not an upside. Wouldn’t want to run into him and his gf. But I hope to move there, and have a water view or a good view of some sort. Let the entrepreneurs gentrify Yaletown!

At their place, I met Viera, another gorgeous Russian. She was nice and funny. I liked her.

We all went down to English Bay, met more Russians, went to bathroom 3 times because Viera says there’s no bathrooms / huge lineups later on.

We settled somewhere at the front centre of the fireworks, among a sea of people. I decided to go look for Brodie. After all, I got his gift and his party started 9 hours prior.

I actually did find him and his group of friends! I mainly just talked to two of his friends…a cool older guy, Jeremy, and a girl…forgot her name…but she was pretty and most likely Brodie’s fuck buddy.

That was a bit odd to see. As we walked to Brodie’s car after the fireworks, she hooked her arm onto his. He did nothing to reciprocate other than letting her. Well, that’s familiar… just like Patrick.

In the car, she rubbed his back a bit….and again he did nothing. And he was rather indifferent to her. Or maybe he was just his boring self.

If even Brodie can be so cruel, then, let it be known: Never hang out with a fuck buddy in public, especially with friends. It’s like a constant slap in the face.

She wasn’t un-nice to me, but I wondered if I was a threat. I was talking a lot, on the beach and in the car, and Brodie laughed at everything I said.

I had a great time today! It seems like people liked my jokes, liked me. The Russians were all curious about my hair, and me having a Russian name, haha.

Ah, I miss socializing and making new friends. Gotta do more of it!

Day 4 of Time Budgeting

I was waken by a 7am phone call and it’s a cloudy day so was a little bit less inclined to feel positive. Alas, here we go!

Positives:
I’m grateful for the rings arriving. My blender BlendTech. Blueberries. Cute sarong I’m wearing as pajamas. Amazon UK account manager to help me launch.

Planning:

  1. 10am call Canada Post to keep my parcel
  2. 10am launch call with Ben at Amazon.co. uk
  3. Call TD USA
  4. Update UK spreadsheet (1h?)
  5. Edit and upload more product images (2~3h), especial blue line
  6. Set up CIBC account for Global Money Transfer (<1h) (Tried – need to go in in person)
  7. More work on the Dice name (1hour)
  8. Clean house (spend 1 hour)
  9. Review AirBnb (<1h)
  10. Start Ken on UK order (<1h)
  11. Analyze shopify cart checkout rate…reduce shipping fee to $4 (1.69% conversion rate since May 1, 2016)
  12. Reply to Moj

Future:

  1. Go into CIBC to create a USD account
  2. Upload more solid ring images
  3. Add striped rings to solid rings parent (Amazon.com)
  4. Pay Walmart balance
  5. 2 parties
  6. Wrap presents
  7. Update website main image

Summary:

I’m surprised that I finished pretty much ALL tasks today! Proud of myself. Good job, Babe!!!

Day 3 of Time Budgeting

Woke up at 9am which is good. But ate and watched youtube videos while “planning” until noon.

Positive:

I’m grateful for this beautiful sunny, light-aired day! I’m grateful for my juicer and rebounder. Grateful for having gifts to give, parties to go to this weekend. Grateful for being Canadian and having the citizenship. Grateful for my past being a Taiwanese citizen too. Grateful for having a slice of Matthew, because even though it’s just a slice, it’s made some very happy moments for me.

Planning:

MUST DOs:

  1. Take ring photos (striped blue, on my hand and solo)
  2. Send Alpha email about defect / improvements
  3. Fit diaphragm
  4. Ship rings to Canada
  5. Do dishes
  6. Another TD money transfer call

Extras:

  1. Drop off rings at Elena’s and pick up some wrapping materials
  2. John Fladien’s course – I want to pick more products
  3. If possible: Notary to certify passport documents
  4. Email Rapid formation with stamped address and see if that is good enough
  5. Wrap gifts f0r Masha and Brodie
  6. Soon: Apply for passport renewal and nexus
  7. Get keesha to contact those with requests
  8. Clean house
  9. Add some ring photos to Amazon (Norm’s hand)
  10. Prepare ring returns (2, Ivy and Deeann)

Summary:

Well, today started out better than the previous 2 days. Got up earlier. I think tomorrow I’ll get up even earlier, seeing that it’s only 1am right now, and I have a phone call with Amazon at 10am.

I might drive to the US tomorrow.

I didn’t get one of the tasks done because I forgot about it. I guess I could’ve been more productive today. No lying down today though….less tired today.

I wonder if it’s better to write down what I need to do the night before, and update it in the morning. This way the back of my mind has a sense of what needs to be done and when:

  1. 10am call Canada Post to keep my parcel
  2. 10am launch call with Ben at Amazon.co. uk
  3. Edit and upload more product images
  4. Start UK order?
  5. Call TD USA
  6. Set up CIBC account for Global Money Transfer
  7. More work on the Dice name

 

 

 

Day 2 of Time Budgeting

Positive:

I’m grateful for my VA, my mastermind, electricity, internet, living in Greater Vancouver, sunshine today. I’m grateful for my God, my guardians, and my angels. I know I am blessed 🙂

Plans for Today:

MUST GET DONE:

  1. Workout
  2. Visit TD to get my documents certified / deposit some cash
  3. Call TD USA to transfer money to TD Canada
  4. Add new rings to knotheory.com
  5. Upload camera images, and either I edit them, or let Keesha edit them
  6. Post some Barcelona photos
  7. Get started on Dice names and design

Maybe:

  1. Get rings from Elena (and bring her bow ties)

Tomorrow:

  1. Take striped ring photos (blue, size 5)
  2. Let Alpha know about ring issues
  3. Call TD USA to TD Canada: Transfer remaining
  4. Email Rapid formation with stamped address and see if that is good enough
  5. Soon: Apply for passport renewal and nexus

Summary:

Still working on this ’til late (3am). An hour better than yesterday, but the tasks are not 100% done.

I don’t know why but I can’t sit for a long time. Low blood pressure?

Day 1 of Time Budgeting

Positive:

Love my life, myself, my body, my family, my friends, my surroundings, my business, my income, and things to look forward to. All in all, very happy and grateful!

Looked at 2 things that I felt stuck at: where do I want to live, and boyfriend. Decided that, I love where I live right now, and I want to focus on my business for the rest of the year, so I won’t worry about where to live at the moment. If Jennifer comes back, then maybe I can think about moving downtown (Yaletown).

Planning:

MUST GET DONE:

  1. Make sure Ken sends out silver and the 54 rings asap
  2. Contact VA candidates
  3. Start 99design
  4. Prepare text and get Keesha to contact 420 emails
  5. There was a bow tie to refund

Also:

  1. v Reply to starred emails
  2. v Get Keesha to clean up ring on hand photos
  3. Post cooking class photos
  4. v UK listings

Tomorrow:

  1. Get rings from Elena (and bring her bow ties)

Summary:

So, I’m realizing how much I stall, how much I lie down. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t feel well, or because I miss Matthew, or because I’m still a bit jet-lagged.

But, I did do everything I set out to do! Yay!

I passed out at some point and woke up at 9pm. So it’s 4am now and I finally showered and am ready for bed. So messed up I know.

So, it’s sort of a success. Scraped-by success haha. For Day 2, I will be more disciplined! 🙂