Category: Reflection

It’s amazing how life feels so much more wonderful these days, because my silicone wedding rings are doing well! It’s like being in love. Not as adrenalin filled but feels more down to earth.

I woke up this morning here in Victoria at 7am. Enjoyed the chirping of the birds, the sun, the greenery outside of my room, the morning air, the comfy douvet, my smooth skin, the idea that mom is healthy and will make me lots of food today. I feel great! I feel, life is good! And I haven’t felt that in a long time. I pray to God that this lasts, expands, grows into something that is dependable.

I notice that I’m afraid to get my product out and advertise. I do a lot of analytical work: analyze the buyer locations, improve my listing, planning etc. These are important too, but I need to reach out more, get my product known. I think temporary launch discount is ok.

I feel less of an urge to care about other things, like bow ties and Alopecia Channel. But I think that’s expected. When people fall in love, they can’t be as good of a friend, as focused at work, etc. I hope I’m not to be blamed. Part of me worries about being punished for not doing a good job with AC. AC is not racking up a ton of followers. None actually. I need to let it ride for now. Keep doing my videos, and improve along the way.

I’m really happy. I’m really happy about the potential of actually making lots of money this year. I think $100K is no problem, but I’m aiming for $1M. It’s been done, for sure!!

:))))))

Yesterday I got my 3rd review and got 11 sales! The most so far! I’ve sold 70 rings in 12 days, with just one AzonLaunch and giving away rings to 5 top reviewers. So I’ve made over $1000 from the rings! Of course, I’ve spent around $6K to get to this point, haha. Still, extremely happy.

Help from Above

I feel very fortunate to be back in Vancouver again. I need some time away from Mom so I can be productive. It’s healthier for me too. I feel that I’m being helped in this way and I appreciate that. If it wasn’t because I had two knot orders and that Mom has friends over until Jan 28, I wouldn’t have gotten this opportunity to be in Vancouver again for almost the whole month.

While that’s a good thing, I wish the ASM thing would progress smoother. The rings are still stalled. God please help me. I want these rings arrive at Amazon by end of this month!

Intuition

I feel that I have become more intuitive. I felt a car related omen the day before, and yesterday I got a speeding ticket. It seemed so unexpected…I was just going to the ferry, not hurrying. I thought about Interstellar, the scenes from it, and was singing “Stay” by Rhiana. I suddenly felt really sad about how hard space colonization is, and I bursted out crying. I cried and cried and I guess I sped up. When the cops pulled me over I had to wipe all the tears of my face. I didn’t complain or defend myself…I was just confused. Afterwards I was mad and I wondered why it happened. I thought about the bad feeling I had about driving the past couple of days. I decided that, I was lucky that this was it. It could’ve been worse.

A few months ago I had a strong desire to see Norm. That one took a while so I’m not sure if it counts. Eventually he contacted me. I was looking forward to meeting him and chatting. We chatted a lot. About sci-fi and such. Though I must admit he is not as fun to hang out with anymore. I have grown better, I think. He has grown more bitter than before. It’s depressing. I do want to help him get out of this depression that seems life-long.

Seeing Norm

Last time we saw each other was about two years ago. We broke up about 7 or 8 years ago. Even though I still regret sometimes over how long we dated, he was nice to me and good about my alopecia over these years. In a way my self confidence improved somewhat. During our relationship I was very short-tempered and sometimes insensitive. I feel that I should at least help boost his self-confidence this time around.

I asked him to consider focusing on becoming happier before he dates again. He dropped the conversation. We talked again when I told him that my mom wants to set him up with a girl. He agreed that I was right that him being pessimistic all the time is not a good strategy for avoiding letdowns. Still, I know he still wants to go on dates. It’s his life.

There was a time I can’t live without him. I felt that I can’t “not know him”. Now, I can still braindump on him and he’ll listen to me for hours, but I have changed. I find him so un-stimulating, narrow minded, and not all that smart anymore. A TED talk I watched recently said that it’s damaging to the brain to think negative thoughts a lot (also bad diet, smoking, chemical exposure, diabetes, etc). Seems true in his case.

I want to help him though. I want to ask him to develop a positive habit this month. For example, try to not say or imply anything negative about himself / the situation 🙂

Oh it’s the first day of the new year!! I’m so excited!!

This year I will make very measurable and very big advances in life. This is going to be the biggest year yet.

2009 I quit my job in April. Decided to start Knot Theory. Met Aaron, Alice, Joey, and the branding company. This year I had my first branding experience.

2010 In Feb I did my first photoshoot – the Duello. In March I turned 30 and launched Knot Theory. Had a good party with a keg and about 25 friends. Had sex on Jason’s couch with someone I later found very unattractive. In June I met Cyndi! I founded the Alopecia support group in August. In November I went to Cyndi’s Noveween as Lady Gaga in a meat dress.

2011 is a year of getting lots of exposure for Knot Theory locally. West Ender, Breakfast TV, Homorrazzi shoot, Men’s Fashion Week, selling in MASC. Had my first Kickstarter which went fine with the help of all the supportive friends. I met Summer, Ross, Anna and Wilson. I dated that French guy Nicholas for 4 months. I learned that if I didn’t like the experience and the guy wasn’t very hot, I remove him from memory.

2012 was a cool year. I had a cool birthday at Opus. Everyone wore bunny ears. I went on Dragon’s Den in April. In October I raised $14K on Kickstarter. In November we had a James Bond photoshoot and I met Patrick.

2013 was a big year because in March I “came out” and told the world about my alopecia. I also embarked on my Shanghai vagabond journey later in the year, Oct/Nov. I saw a lot of things in China and I met lots of people. It was the best year of sex, in quality and quantity. Patrick up until May. Josh in August. First Asian guy in December. Idriss on NYE.

2014 has been a big year too. I discovered my love for location independence after returning from Shanghai in April. I had my first failed Kickstarter project, but discovered the importance of learning from the best. Knot Theory got on AskMen. I lived at Aunt Jane’s from April to Oct. I took courses. SEOD and ASM. I know that I will make lots of money from now on. Moved home but felt fine about it. Just a place for me to not pay rent, keep Mom company, and figure out what to do and where to live next. Got my first SEO client at end of Oct. In Nov I went to SF. Idriss and I crashed and burnt and I predicted that in my dream. Friends with Norm again. Got PADI open water and dry suit certified. I met Dan MacKinnon on the flight to SF and learned that I’d love to travel the way he did in Australia: like a free, adrenaline-seeking 20-something. Feels like for the first time in a long time I have a much more concrete and promising plan for the coming year. Oh, and I’m on Invisalign. I like that for several reasons. I’m taking action. It’s gonna take gradual, consistent push to align my teeth that’s my theme: consistency. I don’t need to see results overnight. I just need to see progress and have a concrete goal that I can reach at a foreseeable date!

2015 is going to be an AMAZING year. This is going to be a year of making lots of money, pushing my boundaries, learning a lot about myself, becoming a better person, and realizing many of my dreams.