Month: May 2016

Flight booked. Cirque du Soleil O show booked. Going to see Patrick in Las Vegas!

I can’t believe I’m doing this. Haha.

I’m scared and excited. The day I booked it, I was so excited I can’t sleep. I ended up sleeping just a couple hours before TEDxStanleyPark.

Then today, I woke up with a bad dream that Patrick facebook messaged me about some issues about me staying longer. That’s when I realized how scared I am.

I’m staying 4 nights and 5 days. Thursday to Monday morning. Longer than I had planned. But it’s the only way….he wanted me to go on the weekend, and weekend flights are expensive/sold out.

So I’m scared because, it’s fairly long of a stay. I’m scared because, he is not the most reliable person. And, scared because of bad experience visiting Idriss in SF.

But I feel better about this than with Idriss. With Idriss, I had a nightmare too. And I felt weird about it before going.

With this trip visiting Patrick, I’m excited!

Here’s my thinking:

1. If I’m fun to be around, me staying longer ain’t a problem. So I gotta remember to be fun, light-hearted, adventurous. A happy state of mind is happiness – says Tony Robins.
2. If we give each other some breathing room, that helps too. I’ll work for a few hours each day from a coffee shop.
3. Remember what it was like when we first met. I laughed so hard at things he said. I cared about him. I think those are important things.
4. Just be good to him and not expect too much. Expectation is the cause of all sadness and fights.
5. If he has to be out, has to leave me at home, I am ok with that. I can: get some work done, go to a pub by myself. If it was at night? Men…I should probably hop on Tinder? I hope I don’t have to do that. But it’s important to go out if he is out, and busy. Maybe I can meet people.

 

I know I’m blessed with so much.

This year seems more difficult than last year. Maybe because last year I finally had a big break and thought it’s going to be more smooth sailing from here on.

The years before I took on a lot of frustration…probably even more so than this year. So I should probably start thinking that this is a shitty year (It’s the year of the monkey.)

China trip was full of obstacles, but many things also went smoothly. Got to see Sally and the owner, got to see pandas, got to meet with Jeremy and his staff, got to go to both Canton Fair and YiWu Fair, got to see the Yeh Family. Got to build a better relationship with Tina and Chris, Dad, Daisy, Uncle Bill and Jane, and Mitch. Got to see Jackie, Irene, Ning, Tiffany and her dad. Got to buy lots of new shoes haha.

I did get my Taiwanese passport. I almost lost my bag (with all my passports inside) but didn’t. Keesha really took care of things for me. Matthew cheered me up when I needed him. Oh and Ashley messaged me 🙂

Yes, lots of shit happened after I got back too. Hijacker. Bad, but solvable. And I did get rid of him in 4 days.

Sales not as good as February, but, I’m finding ways to improve this.

Matthew….saw him 2 days after I got back and we had an incredible time. But….haven’t seen him in 3 weeks. It was his birthday yesterday. He was depressed about it.

He’s been liking my posts on FB, but hasn’t messaged me. I don’t know what it means. I sense that he is either too depressed about getting old or too busy.

I try not to guess why he behaves a certain way. There are too many possible reasons, and it’s pointless to overthink. Instead, I start tiny chats with Ashley here and there. He is really cute.

Ideally, I have another fuck buddy, but, I don’t yet. Do I really have to go on Tinder for this? I guess I gotta look in order to get. Even someone sexy like Matthew has to put effort in.

Maybe I’ll just go see Patrick. It’ll be an expensive way to get sex lol. But I promised him I would visit in May or June.

I need to go hard at it. I need to get the rings’ sales up. I need to get the new products launched.

Meanwhile, play hard when I can.

This is going to be an amazing year. I’m going to make it awesome!

 

 

 

So sad lately.

I think it’s because

• Matthew hasn’t tried to hook up with me
• Period
• Ashley is really not that obvious about how he feels towards me
• Everyone is in love it seems
  • Clement and Evan getting married
  • Everyone in ASM is married or in great relationships (except for Angela…but she is young)
  • Linda got engaged
  • Jackie got pregnant (not that I want to, but feel a bit jealous that she is with someone who she feels happy and secure enough to have a baby with)
  • Norm has a girlfriend and is closer to her than to me. If I tell him anything, most likely it’ll end up reaching her
  • Most people have boyfriend, friends, husbands
  • Or they are young. They can date any time.
• Even though I have friends who are single, they seem so lame…I just feel that I have been grouped together with the lame kids
  • Nicole, Cat, Tina – the old single ladies
• Even Cyn has Ty. Plus lots of friends.
• I don’t have the love of any guy.

I want a boyfriend now, more than ever. How I long for a guy who really loves me, and vice versa.

I’ve been watching Felicity. At first I was all jealous of all the girls, because all the guys on the show are so sweet. But towards the end of season one, it’s just a big mess. These people are nuts, and their relationships are so tough.

Yes, I guess that’s what life is about.

Man, I so want a boyfriend…

Good Friends. I need them. I want them. Sigh.

Boyfriend. I want one too.

 

Norm has been kind of quiet lately over gchat, and I felt a bit sad that he was like that. I told him that my hijacker was gone, and all he said was, Nice.

In fact I’ve been feeling sad that I get no love from anyone. I have few friends, and they aren’t close friends. I like them, but I don’t love hanging out with them. I wish I had good friends that I can hang out weekly.

So I was surprised that Norm asked yesterday if I wanted to have ice cream with him and Sylvia.

I would prefer to hang out with just Norm, but I guess it’s good to give Sylvia another chance.

And indeed, she was better, more fun this time.

Norm still had to try hard to get the conversation going, but it was much better this time.

I guess when people behave a certain way that seems bad, it doesn’t necessarily mean they have bad intention. It’s something I need to keep in mind, because I notice that Mom tends to assume bad intention.

For example, she assumed that Roy doesn’t want us to tag along on the cruise. She manufactures that thought out of nowhere, even though Roy immediately sent us all the info needed in order to book the trip.

I’ll write more in another post about the cruise we are going on! 🙂

Anyway, what I want to conclude is that, when someone behaves in a way that seems distant or in anyway not meeting your expectations, it’s possible that there are other reasons, and it’s possible that are thinking of ways to change that.

I was suddenly super motivated the other day. I decided to focus on just one goal at a time, and got a lot done.

I’m trying to understand what cause the motivation. So here are some possible factors:

• Been on juice for two days (for the first time) since I got back from China. There’s brain octane, blueberries, green tea, and other good stuff in there.
• Added extra green tea by accident that day
• Worked out the day before
• First day of period
• Been eating salmon lox for 3, 4 days
• Had grape enzyme for 2, 3 days
• It’s been sunny for 2, 3 days
• Finally got enough sleep after the hijack
• Finally recovering from being stressed (hijack)

Next time I feel this rush of motivation, I’ll check back to see what got me so motivated, and see if there are parallels!

Ok, I have an enlightenment. I need to focus on 1 goal at a time.

I know, there are are million things I want to do and improve upon, but, 1 thing at a time.

So what will it be?

Get my sales to $100K per month.

As of today, May 20 2016, it’s at:

Amazon.com – $26.7K -Hopefully growing after resolving the hijack

Amazon.ca – $1.1K CAD ($800 USD) – Will grow too, now restocked

Etsy – $5K

Knotheory.com – $4.6K – wedding season

Total: $37.1K USD

How do I grow my biz to $100K per month?

Rings:

1. More social media marketing – giveaways, blogger reviews etc (expecting 5% growth)
2. Influencer marketing – on IG (expecting 5% growth)
3. More SEO – google+, blogging, guest commenting (expecting 5% growth)
4. Contact current customers via postcards (expecting 10% growth, but need silver rings ready)
5. Will be adding more rings (expecting 10% growth from this)
6. Silver rings – expect 20% growth
7. Gold rings- expect 20% growth
8. Camo rings- expect 5% growth
9. Expand to Europe – expect 5% growth

95% growth (doubling) if I can do all of the above. Plus growth from restocking (5%) and wedding season. That will bring me to $80K. 

ASM:

1. Launch Party Gear brand – happy birthday banner, stagette gear, bridal shower docorations, etc.
   1. happy birthday pink banner – expect $10K
   2. happy birthday general banner – expect $5K
   3. Bridal kit – sashes etc – expect $8K
   4. Flower pom poms – expect $10K
   5. Photobooth props for stagettes – expect $9K
   6. Photobooth props for new years – expect $8K
   7. Photobooth props for milestone birthdays/baby shower/xmas – expect $8K

Total: Expecting $50K/month after 2 to 3 months

So if I work smart for the next 3 months, I should expect $80K + $50K = $130K/month by month of September.

2016 Forcast:
June: $40K
July: $60K
August: $70K
September: $100K
October: $130K
November: $200K
December: $300K
Total from June to December 2016: $900K

Total from January to May 2016: $176.5K (Amazon.com) + $15.2K (Knotheory.com) + $21K (Etsy.com) = $212.7K

So if I work smart and hard the next 3 months, I can do over $1MM in sales this year!

—

How to do this:

1. Prioritize – What needs to get going because it will take longer / bring in most sales / bring in sales most quickly and easily? What needs to be rushed? What must happen so other things aren’t blocked?
2. Delegate – what can Keesha do?
3. Incentivize Keesha to grow IG fanbase
4. Stronger brand with a good graphic designer

 

 

One hour coffee date with Ashley today. At Hillside Mall.

It was pretty lame really.

He was 10 minutes late. He seemed tired. I was preoccupied with the fucking hijacker. I was nervous. We ran out of things to say. He had to go to work in one hour.

He was handsome though. Better than I remembered. He showed up in a suit because he was going to work at TipTop later on. He seemed to like lavender. He was in a lavender dress shirt.

He did buy me a matcha, which is nice. I guess that was the only sign that it was a date.

I gave him the face mask gift. He was confused. Sigh. Matthew and I are just so much more compatible. Matthew thought it was hilarious!

But, Ashley is actually just as cute as Matthew and Patrick. He stands out from the crowd when you look at him. He really is a good-looking guy. He is so tall though. Maybe 6’5. A bit too tall.

We are both really bad at flirting….but knowing that he is probably like his sign, Aquarius, I wasn’t too concerned. I wasn’t in a hurry.

There’s nothing notable other than that. He did text me after to apologize for it being so short. I decided to flirt with him a tiny bit by saying that he looked good in a suit.

….I guess when he hugged me I did feel a little something. Lingering arms. A lil’ bit.

I hope we get to have more fun later on 🙂

 

Dad mentioned today that the condo community where Tiffany’s dad lives (南加州), the lawyer Mr. Chen who sold Mom’s house, has recently sold a condo there. It was $30K/ping, down from $40K/ping, so the condo was $8,000,000NTD, which is about $250,000USD ($316,000CAD).

If I bought this place for him, it’s not like he’d move there any time soon. He needs to take care of grandma. But if it rents out for $400USD per month, I can afford to have him live here and pay for his rent.

In time that would be something to consider. Plus, Taiwanese real estate will be slipping the next few years it seems.

I want to buy him:

1. A computer with the typing software installed:
   https://sites.google.com/a/dayi4u.co.cc/da-yi-xing-lie-qing-song-shu-ru-fa/qing-song-shu-ru-fanew/qing-song-shu-ru-fa
2. A walking computer desk

I don’t know how to wire money to either Tina or Si-Shu to make it work….will need to figure this out.

I know I know, it’s inevitable. He is so cute. So sexy.

I keep his business card in my wallet. I was going to add him on WeChat during my China trip, but forgot to. Facebook was working during the times I needed to talk to him.

The day before, I finally remembered to add him on WeChat, and saw that he had tried to add me twice, in 2014! I guess it doesn’t mean that much, but still very cute.

We chatted a little bit. I installed a Kamasutra app and showed him the positions that looked interesting. He responded in a cute way as usual.

When we said good night, he sent a string of emoticons of drooling heart-eyed, smiling, and smooching faces. I was so happy to see that. It’s not much….I guess my expectations are low….but still, I like that he did that. I think he basically types what he feels, so that reflects how he feels.

I fantasize about him all day while at IMAX today with Mom. He turns me on so much. When I fantasize, I often imagine a conversation…I’m so weird.

I need to remember that, my ideal guy has two musts:

1. Loves me even more with my alopecia
2. Is sincere in how he loves me. i.e. Monogamous

Matthew has so many great qualities, but he doesn’t have these two.

It’s ok. I’ll just enjoy what we have for right now. In a few months, the passion will likely fizzle out anyway. I can’t imagine it right now, but it seems inevitable. Part of me wishes that we are special. The 7-year love affair means something. But I know that’s unlikely. I don’t want to get my hopes up. I don’t want to get too attached.

Imagine us being at that point…..one starts to lose interest, the other reciprocates, and before you know it, we stop talking. I sort of can see that he would be the one doing it, either because he found another fb, or he got tired of this, and I would notice it and end it. Then later on, he’ll try to come back to me, but I would say no. No for good. I think that’s likely how it’ll play out. So sad already… The only way to not be sad is to have a boyfriend by then.

Right now, I’m trying to figure out what makes him tick:

• I think having a sexy booty is number one for visual attraction.
• Changing things up is probably another top one.
• Praising/complimenting him. Words are important for Gemini’s.
• Allowing him to be that guy that I want – inspiring etc. Things I said I look for in a boyfriend. I want to slip my #1 in, but really, no point. I’ll just say, being kind and sincere. At least he’ll let me down gently when he exits my life.
• Allowing him to feel that he is protecting me. I think I’ll try cuddling with him that way.
• Be turned on by him. Make him feel desired.
• Make him feel needed. Maybe just by saying it.
• Do funny things. Like planting a Pusheenicorn on his keychain

If he is nice to me and attracted to me, I won’t ever get tired of him. So really it seems like it’s more likely that he’ll be the one ending it after a while.

The only scenario I can think of where I would end it first, is if I find someone that I want to be in a relationship with. Fat chance of that happening haha.

He really has a lot going on about him that makes him irresistible to me. He even loves cute animals, which is important to me because I want to travel to a giraffe manor with my boyfriend.

I wonder how many guys have these traits. I just want a boyfriend like him, but has those two must-have qualities: loves me even more with my alopecia, and won’t cheat on me.