Month: April 2018

Sales have been low (35 to 43 units a day) the past 3 days. Haven’t heard from Sam for maybe 5 days. I feel very stressed and confused.

Met Brandon and he liked me, but I didn’t know what to do to get info from him.

Canton Fair has been very unfruitful.

I’m closer to Stan and Masha, and have met their friends Anton, Irina, Masha, and Sasha (Alex). Sometimes I’m annoyed with Stan and Masha, but overall they have been good. I quite like Anton and Irina.

I was a bit high on Sam for a few days, after he said he can’t wait to see me. But at times, such as right now, I get so annoyed that he hooked up with Michelle – and another girl! – while he was flirting with me.

I kept thinking about how he probably was flirting with Michelle a lot behind my back. Why else would Michelle be ok with him flirting with me in front of her? Or even be nice(r) to me as time goes on? What on earth did he say to her or do to her that made it ok for her to have this hidden relationship, and be ok with him flirting with me, and not ok with him hooking up with someone else?

And why was he hooking up with someone else, and telling me about it? In the name of searching for love, he was going on dates and hooking up with these people. What a scam.

Am I feeling this way about him because I’m “sensing” how he feels about me? Or am I feeling this way because I’m coming to my senses, knowing subconsciously how things didn’t add up? Or is it because he is probably hooking up with Michelle right now?

The more I think about it, the more I felt that I don’t want him, and that I wished I hadn’t put myself in this situation of seeing him again for 6 weeks. It’s kind of Mom’s fault. But ultimately it was my decision. Why did I do that? I guess I wanted to see him, and I wanted to go to Egypt. But I wanted more to meeting someone else who is amazing, funny, good to me, good looking, closer in age, and reliable. I wanted more to travel to Peru with the Tribe!

Part of me hopes that I made this decision for a good reason. Maybe I’ll meet the love of my life in Bali.

Part of me feels that I made this decision in confusion because I was not thinking right after freshly breaking up with Alex.

This is a simulation, sure. But what kind? The kind where we are one? The kind where we have control? The kind where love can be found?

And so the trip begins!

As of 9am today, I was officially homeless. I air-kissed each room goodbye, then handed Frank the keys to the Burnaby Condo.

It’s a sunny day in Vancouver today. I lugged 2 suitcases and a backpack, and took the skytrain to the airport. Mom packed a ton of food for me. Mango salsa, cheesecake, mushroom and chicken, and wined eggs. I’ll be eating my own weight’s worth of food during the 12 hour flight haha.

I got a great seat. Second from the back, two in a row instead of three, so I got a lot of room beside me, and an extra under the-seat storage

space! Too bad the girl sitting beside me is grumpy. Other than that, all is well 🙂

I have no expectations for this trip. I just want to spend some quality time with Stan and Masha. Mostly Stan because he is motivated and inspiring. I also want to practice my charisma knowledge on the people I meet.

• Observe surroundings and make comments about things / have opinions (Matthew Hussey)
• Being a host – ask people if they are having a good time
• Ask interesting questions that elicit interesting and long answers
• Be playful and light hearted and fun
• Praise people (who are in ear shot and not in ear shot)

I think ideally I get to meet some interesting power sellers who can be my business mentor, partner, or a great friend. And that I learn something that will dramatically improve my business. That I learn how to shop at Canton Fair.

—

In Bali, I hope for this:

• I have a great time! Laughing lots.
• I fall in love with a great guy who loves me very much
• I get lots of work done and make lots of progress!
• I experience a lot of the fun things in Bali, such as surfing, and swimming with the oceanic manta rays
• I improve on making good connection with people
• I make some great friends.

Sam, Kent, Berta, and Christa are coming! We were the first 5 people to get on Table Mountain. Not sure what the significance of that is haha.

Part of me wished that the entire tribe would be of new people, but part of me am glad that these people are coming. They are some of my favourite people in the Tribe.

I wonder what would happen between Sam and I. I know he has flaws that I probably can’t stand. And vice versa. But if he does turn out to be a great soul mate for me, then I hope we work out. If not, I hope it’s mutual and we still like each other.

First of all, he was on the nomad cruise for 10 days. And he will be somewhere after that for 10 days. It’s hard to say if he’ll have met someone by the time we meet. I can’t expect him to still be single, because he so desperately wants to be in love, and he is putting himself out there around tons of people.

If he does have a girlfriend by the time we meet, I’ll be sad, but I’ll need to be ok with that. Know that, he really isn’t that good looking, we have a huge age gap, and he is at the phase in his life and biz that isn’t in sync with mine.

Also, he hasn’t been that funny to be honest. It’s even possible that we won’t have the same chemistry this time!

I don’t know. I’m trying to imagine some scenarios so as to not feel disappointed. Because I don’t think we are actually going to work.

My ideal guy is probably more good-looking and closer to me in age, and is more reliable and dependable.

I’ve been so busy and stressed, it’s hard to feel excited yet.

When biz is not doing well, I feel like shit. I need to:

1. Plan out how I would address it – execute my plan, make progress, and feel great
2. Have a hobby that I can excel at
3. Exercise
4. Meditate
5. Hang out with great people who are ambitious and motivated

Part of me just wants to stay at Ying’s and work hard together. But, part of me felt that fate chose to have me go to China then Bali.

I mean, I can’t connect the dots ’till it’s all over. All I can say is that, everything that happened had led me to this point of being this person and doing these things.

I posted a white giraffes video on Facebook and tagged Sam. He messaged me to say that he’s met a lot of interesting people on the cruise and that I should go on it next time. He called me Space bunny again. I guess that means he is still fond of me.

I do still like him a lot. Sometimes I find myself fantasizing about us.

But I will try to not have expectations. I’ll go with the flow. Maybe we’ll fall in love with each other. Maybe with other people. Maybe not at all. Maybe duplicates. Maybe only one of us. Who knows.

I’ll do my best to enjoy China and Bali though! Be playful, sexy, interesting, intelligent, nurturing, and fun. Laugh lots. Joke lots. Be the life of the party. It’s a matter of what I set out to do really!

I’m excited about the dino taco holder. I feel that it’ll make me rich. Fingers crossed!

So much to do, but I’ve been addicted to Limitless.

Before that, Dirk Gently.

Before that, too busy being sad about the breakup with Alex.

I think about Sam too. He hasn’t messaged me since my birthday. Sigh. Can’t count on him to be consistent.

He did sign up for Bali Tribe though.

Our Slack chatrooms have begun, and he is on there. Kent too. So far we only have 12 people, and 2 are staff so I’m not sure if they are actually with us. I hope we get to meet Diego or Andrea!

I checked out the people. Filipa and Dile are staff, and are girls. Deborah is the only other girl besides me! She is 22, from Brazil, and super cute. Like the sweet, warm kind of face that I think every guy wants. Oh man.

The guys are very….well, typical I guess. No one cute. Well, one has potential but I don’t think his personality is cute. Another is not cute but his personality and sense of humour seem on point.

Then there’s Sam. I feel the need to remind myself to keep a distance. Observe before I act. He is so unpredictable.

I need to remember that:

1. There could be better fish in the sea – just as funny but more reliable
2. I can learn humour from him at least
3. It’s better to hookup outside the Tribe
4. Be friends with him first.
5. Give him space to explore and to chase me.
6. Socialize with everyone. Build those deep and fun connections.
7. Be fun, funny, energetic, charismatic!