Month: November 2021

Wow! Sales have been excellent this past week!

Nicole recruited her mom Judy to come help pack orders today haha. They are so sweet to each other.

Anna came on Saturday, and will come again on Tuesday~Thursday evenings!

We broke the record on Etsy today, Cyber Monday. Did 51 orders, $1811!

Shopify broke the record on Black Friday I believe (or day before). Did over $2600!

Overall we’ve tripled on Etsy and 2.7times on Shopify this past year!

Amazon is not performing well…less than half of last year.

Overall, I think we did about the same as last year…slightly better.

I did an approximated tally of this year’s revenue and profit for Irene. The profit for this year is about $500K CAD! Pretty good!

Of course, my goal is to reach millions! I know I’ll get there next year!

Oh Bunny…..he hasn’t been feeling well at all.

The knee issue has been bothering him so much. He hasn’t been out since end of July. He is on the verge of going insane.

To make things worse, he almost died from magnesium overdose two days ago. Then yesterday he felt better. Then today he felt bad again.

I went over to cuddle with him. I was wearing my new PJs…red cotton fleece with gingerbread men and cookies and hearts pajamas, from Superstore!

Yesterday, he told me that there’s something getting delivered between 12:30 and 1pm. I wondered if it would be tacos…or flowers!

Turned it was a BEAUTIFUL bouquet of flowers!! There are at least 10 different kinds of flowers in that bouquet! And it came in a vase. Wow!

I felt loved. It was nice.

He said it’s a token of his appreciation for me. Awww <3

Ironically I’ve been the worst….well, I’ve also been the sweetest. It’s really impossible to say. I’m like the Godfather…capable of the sweetest things and the most evil things.

I don’t think I could’ve been as sweet and devoted if I didn’t get my thirst quenched by Alex though. I’m grateful that he appeared out of nowhere.

I saw a sexy dance video on IG Reel today, and read the comments to see what kind of dance it was. Turned out it was Bachata. Interesting. That’s the dance that Alex wanted to learn with me a year or two ago. I didn’t know it was that sexy!

It’s clear now that he’s been low key hitting on me / wanting to connect more with me for years. But, he may very well be doing that with many girls.

Cuddling with Bunny was really sweet and nice today. He said I was pretty many times, and we kissed and cuddled. I liked cuddling in my PJs with him. I gave him a nice massage too.

Also, he is still so handsome.

I was so hurt by Alex bailing on me over his uncle’s birthday, I searched and searched for how to feel better.

I cried, I read other people’s sad stories, I left Cyndi messages, I googled “when men disappoint me”. I found a dating coach saying to visualize the kind of behaviour that I want from the guy. Align myself with that positive visualization, before responding. It was a little bit helpful.

Then I came across Matthew Hussey’s take on this. He said:

1. Think of the guy as not intentionally hurting you, but just being stupid.
2. Slow down …don’t respond right away…calm down first. This I did.
3. Phone a friend…this I did.
4. Be playful and cheeky in  your response.

Wow. That was immensely helpful!

His las message was “We’ll have to go double rounds next Sunday then”.

I decided to reply with “…aand  I need every inch of me kissed”.

That’s so much better!

I don’t know how he’ll reply nor if we’ll make it happen this Sunday, but, I’m glad I came to this reply. Proud of myself haha.

Before I came across Matthew’s take, I was gonna end it! I was gonna wallow in my sorrow, and cut him off before I felt even more hurt.

Cyndi said she would give him a pass too.

It’s just that, I haven’t been cancelled on in years! Last time that I can remember was when Patrick did it. I actually did what Matthew said. I playfully punished him to give me a strip tease. Interesting how awkward he was, and that later he became a stripper haha.

Wow. I thought we’d have more time than 3 seshes without hiccups. But, he cancelled last minute today.

I tried to not take it personally, but I cried. I HATE being cancelled on.

I would not have cancelled on him. Matthew only met with me twice every month, but he never cancels.

I asked Cyndi how she copes.

But, we are very different people. She gets treaded on.

Well, now I get a glimpse of how Alex and I can go south….so easily too.

I was too deep too fast. I was considering making him a silver crane! I thought about us long term! He can’t even show up.

I don’t even know if I can be enthusiastic about us next week anymore.

I don’t even know if I can count on him showing up next week anymore.

He did just get a “dead beat” tattoo that was based on his nickname when he was younger.

And I know that if I point it out to him, that I’m not sure about him anymore, I 1000% can guess that he’ll just give up on us. He won’t fight for us. Just like Matthew never did when I called it quits.

He would, I bet, just agree with me and we’ll never see each other again.

At least Bunny is someone who wouldn’t give up on me.

But he is so unfun to be around.

Sigh.

What to do?

I read a bit online and people are so fed up with people cancelling on them. But the keyword is consistently.

I’ll give him another chance then I guess.

I wish I was with someone who is SO into me and I’m SO into him, and we both are able to be present – physically and mentally – for each other. And that we have a great time.

This is also a wakeup call to not sink to deep with Alex.

There’s a lot of issues with him.

Don’t think that he is perfect. He is far from it. I’m far from it.

We all seem perfect at first.

I am so into Alex right now. SO into him.

We’ve been talking everyday this week.

At first we were just sharing Black Friday tips. He said what I shared were gems and he should be paying me haha. Then he said maybe with sex.

I said, “Oh yes be my fuck pony! I love riding your magical dick!”

Really I just wanted to say “fuck pony”, a term I learned from Cyndi.

Though his is so short I was hoping he wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

He sent a gif of a midget in cowboy / horse patterned pants galloping around. I sent two cartoon gifs of a girl with a magic pony, and another gift of a girl having an amazing time riding her pony.

I think that got the point across haha

He asked if I shopped some good deals on Black Friday. I said I got a lot of sexy outfits. He was excited and asked “Lol if I were to wear a sexy outfit what kind of stuff u into?”

Omg. I loved that question. No one has asked me this!

I thought about it a bit and replied with “darkwear / techwear” and long black aprons haha.

He sent me a pic to confirm, I sent me a ton more pic to confirm. I was so turned on thinking about that he would put effort into this, and that he’ll be wearing these outfits. Ohh mmmy.

I don’t want to set my expectations too high. He said he’ll look for these in his closet haha.

I actually didn’t realize what I’m into is Japanese aesthetics. I thought I was very much neutral. Then I remembered how Knot Theory’s first photoshoot was very Japanese. In my mind I was being very video game like.

It’s starting to make sense now why I’m attracted to Alex and always have been a little bit. And whether he knew he was attracted to me or not, he definitely was low key trying to get closer to me the past three years.

We are like two magnets. When a little bit a part, it seems like there’s nothing going on. Then you get the two magnets a bit closer, BAM, so much attraction!

I’m smitten. And I know I shouldn’t be…not yet…not until he’s shown more love for me. But I’m like in a honeymoon phase right now. I want him all the time. I daydream about us. I think about what I want to say to him. I think about how, maybe I love him. Maybe we’ll date. Maybe we’ll get married. Maybe he is the one.

Then I pull myself back to the ground.

He wants kids. He was vindictive towards Shawn. He lives at home. He’s not asked to see me without hair.

This is a honeymoon phase. Enjoy it while it lasts!

Though honestly I haven’t felt this way about anyone. We are friends, we are sexually compatible, we are attracted to each other, we are both entrepreneurs. We have SO much fun together. SO MUCH FUN. We are in many ways the best match there is, in my experience.

In this point in time, he really is amazing. An amazing experience in my life. I was dead inside with no sex, no passion, no love in this relationship. But he came to me, out of nowhere, and breathed life into me. I’m excited, I’m horny, I’m wet, I’m giddy. I’m…in love.

I think most people have a higher “fall-in-love” bar. I think I’m jumping into this  love mode too quickly. But, all the while, I want to enjoy this magical feeling. Call it infatuation, call it love – it’s a high, that’s for sure!

I like that Alex and I kissed so many times as he was leaving on Sunday. I love our laughs and sex and pillow talks and alll the kisses. I love the way he puts his body around me when he coached me in biz. Everything is great.

But, something was a little less fun last Sunday, the more I think about it.

He was tired, hung over from Saturday rave. His parking experience was overly long. He was a bit stressed out about coaching me I think.

I was a little stressed too. It was the last day of my period. He was coaching me.

He was wearing his hat most of the time, and in bed he had hat hair. Someone that kinda turned me off. Hats at night seem very pointless.

Everything worked out well still, but I am weary that he just doesn’t have enough energy for our weekly rendezvous. He doesn’t prioritize it enough to save his energy at least…I think. Not that I think it’s super warranted, because, we are not a couple.

Maybe I need to compliment him more to get more. Like compliment his hair. His sex ability. It can help him get more into these things, perhaps.

I told him sex+chats+kisses are da best. He said pillow talks are his favesss. At the time I didn’t think much of it, but now I’m thinking, what about the sex and the kisses?

I also noticed that he doesn’t send me kissy emojis.

Could be just his style. Could be cuz we are not a couple.

I don’t want to overthink it, but I also want to lower my expectations from him. Sigh. I don’t want to. I want to be all in, like a couple.

I didn’t get all horny after Sunday this time. I think my period made me less sensitive vaginally. Sex didn’t feel the same. I barely masturbated the past few days!

But we are still pretty awesome. We msg each other daily so far this week. That’s new. He doesn’t reply right away but he does reply with some care. We kinda secure the Sunday again.

One day one of us is gonna not be able to make it on a Sunday. I wonder what is going to happen then.

I think I just need to chill. No hard feelings, no matter what…

We are not dating…all these pleasures are extra, are bonuses, are…stolen golden moments that we are so lucky to have. I cherish them so much.

I like Alex so much, and our current arrangement is great. I hope it lasts a while.

Meanwhile, after he’s coached me, I feel that I have an assignment that I need to do very well on, in order to keep up with the him and maintain his interest.

I think about sometimes what I bring to the table.

Pillow talk for sure. He says that’s his fave. And we do have so much fun just talking about anything at all, and once in a while kissing each other.

I think I can compliment him more. That’s a way to win anyone over.

And being aware of trends seems to be attractive to him.

And doing interesting things.

I love how much we love kissing each other. We kissed three times as he was leaving.

I have never had this much fun with anyone, actually.

Matthew was also super fun…but our conversation wasn’t as full of laughs. Though our online convo was very smart and flirty. And sex was AMAZING.

Alex is someone that I would not have had sex with if I didn’t know him for a while. Definitely would not have swiped right.

But with time and with our mushroom experience, he is now super sexy to me!

I actually like that he is short, especially thinking that his playful personality and loudness developed around being short.

Sometimes I look at him and I see flaws, or that he is not as hot as guys I’m normally drawn to. Sometimes I think he looks so similar to me haha. His eyes, nose, lips are near identical to mine!

But everything about him feels right. His dick is perfect too. I want to suck on it next time. It would be my first Asian dick in the mouth! Ahahah

Wow. Alex is SMART.

1. So grateful to have his insight. Feeling very blessed that my wishes are coming true. Want to manifest more.
2. So enjoying our time together. The sex, the bedroom talks, and laughs, the business shares.
3. Feeling very excited about the future, with my new knowledge!

Some things I’ve learned:

What’s trending – e.g. the trending aesthetics, social media style, TT songs
Inexpensive marketing vehicle – e.g. IG reels are cheap to advertise on

My IG / Brand look is my foundation. When talking to Influencers / getting UGC, they will have a better idea of what to create for us.

Alex suggest:

• Delete existing posts, except for the tagged posts
• Group by colour to have 3 to 9 posts per colour / collection.
• Have 18 posts as our foundation
• Reels
• Audience insight – see what posts that IKEA fans liked of the IKEA posts

Ideas:

• Find influencers with the look and feel we want to get them to create content

ToDo:

1. Research brand looks (also see who they have as brand ambassadors)
2. Collect a list of influencers who have that look
3. Study Alex’s launch plans
4. Find photographers with the look I want

Haha…I know I’m not gonna come back to read this!

But this is a nice outlet. I can’t tell anyone about Alex. Or, I haven’t. If I were to tell someone, it’d probably be Cyndi. Nicole is too close to everyone in terms of physical distance, and she might get jealous that I have 2 guys and she has none. Ty might get jealous that I didn’t choose him. Cyndi has been very much busy dating and having eye pain…and not working much on KT. Cat might not care haha. Ok maybe Cat I can tell this to.

But I don’t need to. Who knows how long this will last.

Today, I woke up to a phone call. Went to check my phone, and dripped blood all the way to the living room as if I was leaving a cookie trail for a vampire.

Mixed feelings. First, glad I”m not pregnant. Haven’t been using protection with Alex, though he’s been pulling out. Two, will it end in time for our next rendezvous? Will there be a next?

Today, my feelings for him is an abstract one. Yes of course I still like him and am interested in him, but I’m not as much a slave to physical needs to procreate, seeing that my uterus is in take-down mode right now.

Also, I just saw Bunny yesterday. I was still attracted to him, interestingly. I was still horny. I wanted to have sex with him.

If Alex was in John’s position, I wonder if I would’ve done all this for him. John is still far more beautiful haha. I wonder if I would be quicker to give up on Alex because he is not as beautiful….so weird of me. So shallow.

I might not be though…Alex has been making me so happy. He makes me laugh. He compliments me. Our mushroom night and the 2 Sundays after, have been the most blissful experience for me in a long time.

Anyway, no point in comparing.

I’m just surprised at how good I am at being invested emotionally and physically in Bunny still. Maybe it’s because I have gemini ascension. Maybe it’s because I am just horny as fuck now that I’m reinvigorated by Alex. Maybe it’s because I’m non-committal and this arrangement puts me at ease. Maybe I’m a poly. I’ve never had multiple lovers…but it seems fairly natural to me. I definitely have often had emotional love affairs.

Haven’t seen Bunny in 2 weeks. Meanwhile have seen Alex 3 times and had sex twice.

I got Bunny lots of groceries from Costco as usual. I also brought the chilli that Ty made. Also brought King’s Cribbage and Uno.

We sat on the floor and played King’s Cribbage. It was a nice change. Though in the beginning I was a bit upset at him for not ordering food for us. And for not heating the chilli enough. Also for growing his facial hair way too much.

The game was mildly fun. Bunny liked it more I think.

After, he wanted to play Uno even! Haha

I was too tired to learn a new game, so we cuddled instead.

While cuddling, he as usual kept playing with his knee. At one point he cried.

At one point I cried, telling him that I don’t feel that he finds me attractive.

All that Alex sex….I still feel hurt that Bunny doesn’t want to have sex with me. He promised that as soon as his leg gets better we’ll have lots of sez.

I was more calm from being infatuated with Alex by then. It seems that I get horny the most on Monday and Tuesday afternoon. I miss him. But by the weekend, I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be with him.

Today, I thought about how to make him fall for me. I thought about how I’m falling for him. I thought about how this would end. It’s just a matter of time. Flings never last.