Category: Self-Improvment

I went to Landmark last night to support my Facebook friend Jannica, and also because she had a HUGE transformation. I never met her, but I know she is a Hollywood actress/bartender, and she lost her hair (while shooting a hair commercial!), gained confidence back, and got engaged – all in one year! I was really impressed and wanted to know how she did it. I thought maybe there’s something I can learn to share with my alopecia group and possibly something useful for myself. I also wanted to meet her fiance, Keenan, who was the speaker.

I was planning to go back to the library at 5, but this thing is at 7 so I ate, got ready by 6pm, and went. It cost me a whole night of work really.

Just before I left, Jannica told me that there was no one else that confirmed so it was just me! She asked if I wanted to cancel. I was a bit mad because I went in support of her. I already put makeup on and was ready to head out.

It was a super slow night with just me, a facilitator Jazelle, a girl Avis who came late, and another girl who came during her smoking break. Lame. But I guess if they do this often, there’s bound to be a slow night once in a while.

We started by writing down what are “working” in our lives and what aren’t. I’ve been doing a lot of self-improvement lately, and didn’t feel a need to work on anything really. I went to karaoke with mom, I got PADI certified, I went to the 300-ppl Amazon party bald. I’m working on ASM, SEOD, KT. I work out everyday the past 2+ weeks. I’m progressing everyday towards my goal. I give myself 90/100 for my current state.

What’s the 10%? I’m not always productive. My sleep schedule is a mess. I have no internet at home so it’s a bit hard to get a good meal/work plan going. Also, I’m not totally “free”. I can hear it in my voice that I’m not free. There’s something holding me back. And perhaps that’s why I’ve attracted this event into my life.

Of all areas, the parts that aren’t working as well are friendship and relationship. I have so few friends that I really like. Relationship, well, I don’t care much for one right now, but Keenan thought that was the one that I should work on.

By the end of the session, I thought it was fun, and I did benefit from it. I discovered things that I basically already discovered before, but it was now reinforced. My ideal situation is to attract cute guys even as I get older, and my way of achieving that is by being an inspiring person, being more loving, accepting, and impactful.

I was sure that several people I know would *really* benefit from it. I almost wanted to sponsor some people in my alopecia group to take the course, using the funds we raised at last year’s charity fashion show. $2000, we can half sponsor 6 people.

The second part was their sales pitch part. The speech they prepared for Keenan was really good. He was only a so so instructor, but the course pitch was well done. It was convincing. It basically tells you that you can’t know what you don’t know. You can’t know how amazing and life-changing this course is until you go through it. It makes me very curious. $645…I think I can benefit but not in a big way, so I wasn’t ready to register. The fact that they spent so long (almost 4 hours) trying to convince me to join, made me feel that there’s a catch: Is it a cult? An MLM? What’s the deal here?

Another thing is, Keenan has been with Landmark for 10 years now, and he doesn’t seem super enlightened nor successful. He just moved to Vancouver from Calgary. He is staying with his mom and aunt or grandma. He has his own consulting business. But the truth is, he doesn’t appear to be very successful. I don’t think he is a top instructor either. I’d be annoyed if I get him as my instructor if I signed up.

Then again, Jannica did so well. Not financially in particular, but emotionally. Perhaps Keenan’s unimpressive accomplishment is not an evaluation of the course, nor is Jannica’s lack of financial success.

It’s like the movie Limitless: The curious thing about the pill is that, it makes everyone smarter, but if you are smart to begin with, the pill has an even bigger impact.

Jazelle thinks I’m a high performer. It’s cool that she thinks that. I don’t know why. In some ways I’m a go-getter. Though, I’m not going nor getting very far with SEOD, KT, ASM, am I? Why? Something to think about. Am I doing my best? Am I doing all that I can be doing?

I’ll be sending out SEOD letters again next week. I just ran out of time and drive to send out those 40 letters this week. I spent time boosting Regency’s ranking.

KT – hadn’t found time to work on it. Spent time putting out fires – custom order requests, getting the neckties sorted, getting the necktie order sorted.

ASM – did all I can do while waiting for the sample to be ready.

This past week I also spent a lot of time socializing. Monday – watched The Bachelor with the gang at Cyndi’s. Tuesday – went swimming with Ty and Cyn. Wednesday – Landmark event. Thursday – met up with Alison to mentor her a little bit. Friday – will be going to Ty’s birthday. Saturday – Deeann. Sunday – alopecia meetup.

Working out takes up a lot of time too. And watching MacGuyver I guess, haha.

The week before last week was pretty good. I was on track.

This past week, I wasn’t as productive. And by weekend, I let myself enjoy the weekend with friends. On Sunday, I didn’t even plan things out for the upcoming week as I should.

I suppose there are things I can do to help correct this.

1. I did some things well. In terms of working out and drinking 7 cups of water, I did well. I did that every day for the past 11 days now.

2. I sometimes carry through to get more than what I set out to do done. e.g. I got more than 100 SEOD contacts. After getting 98 and sending them out, I carried on the next day and got 40 more. I just continued to do it while in the groove.

3. I need a reminder to set weekly agenda. I don’t think Sunday morning is the best day to do this. I think it should be Sunday night. There, I just set an alarm for Sundays at 9:45pm. See how that goes.

4. Monday (yesterday) was out of whack simply because Elena couldn’t figure out shipping expedited to France. It really shouldn’t have destroyed my day. I stayed at home for an extra 2 hours trying to resolve it for her. I then decided to eat my 2nd meal at home, and I didn’t get to the library until almost 5pm. It’s brutal!

I got up at 10am, did my work out (45m), ate breakfast (45m), tried to resolve things for Elena while getting an invoice done (60m), ate lunch (45min), put dishes in the washer (60m), deliver parcel to Certified battery (40m) First off, I’m slow. These above tasks shouldn’t take so long. Workout, 30m. Breakfast, 30m. Invoice, 15m, put dishes in water, 30m. What’s wrong with me? Lack of focus.

Things that keep me from working fast: distractions of checking phone, distraction of listening to audio or watching video while doing things, lack of clear goal when set out to do stuff, lack of time awareness, lack of agenda for the day.

So I know exactly what is wrong.

Ok so here’s how to fix it:

1. Have clear agenda for the day, first thing. This is a MUST. If there’s a fire to put out, see if can first spend 15minutes creating agenda for the day.
2. Have clear goal in mind before starting a time block. e.g. For the next 45 minutes I’m going to accomplish this, then take a 15 minute break. Or, for the next 20 minutes, I’ll do this, then take a 10 minute break. Or, I will need to get 100 contacts. I’ll spend 45 minutes on it an see how far I get, and plan accordingly.
3. Have time limit on things. Use timer if applicable. e.g. Work out for 30 minutes only, eat for 30 minutes only. If needed, take short breaks, but don’t mix eating with break and turning it into one hour breaks. Learn to take TV breaks or audio breaks NOT while doing other things.
4. Do ONE THING AT A TIME!
5. Daily Goal reading and visualizing. I need to set aside time to do this. It’ll help remind me what I’m going after.
6. Go to bed before midnight. Start the day at 7am if possible. Do my best. Hard coded times add stress and I can never last in that kind of schedule.
7. Take action. Action cures fear and stress. Get on it as soon as possible. Start the movement and let the groove come.

Summary:

1. Identify what you’re self-conscious about.

Being judged (by Mom) for being too this or that. Too stingy, spend too much; too 3-8, too…whatever. Things that she criticized me for in the past, or, more importantly, things she criticizes people about in general.

-> I’m trying to please Mom. Why? Because if she doesn’t like it she criticizes me to my face and I hate that feeling.

Getting judged / criticized to my face. I don’t like that feeling

-> I’m trying to please everyone. Why? To avoid getting judged / criticized.

My baldness – not so much now. But a little bit of unwillingness to draw attention to it if I don’t have to.

-> I’m trying to please guys. Women love that I’m bald. In part because it’s brave of me and is inspirational. Guys love that too actually. But I feel that some don’t and I want to maximize the number of guys I attract.

My small eyes – I know a lot of guys like my eyes, but big eyes are favoured by lots of people.

-> I’m trying to please guys again. I like it when my eyes look bigger too.

Has feeling self-conscious about my insecurities done me any good? Nope. It just limits me. And I have proved to myself many times that when I’m not self-conscious, people don’t judge. (I might even judge them if they judge!)

Also, what I feel insecure about, it’s mostly based on Mom’s opinions. She is often wrong. Guys have very different taste than her. North Americans have very different taste than her. I attract guys. So, I really shouldn’t let her opinions overshadow mine.

Confident people let these imperfections go. They are not troubled by such things.

Be a good friend to yourself. Don’t judge yourself. Don’t pick yourself apart. (Learn to treat others that way too.)

Acknowledge / “Own it” first. Accept that thing about yourself.

Challenge yourself.

Set goals and milestones. Share progress with friends. Celebrate when a milestone is met.

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