I’m starting to realize that love is just as important as health and wealth.
Well, health and wealth are awesome. Being in pain is no fun. Being poor is no fun. But, having no love…that’s a harder thing than I thought!
It’s not going very well with Brad.
Sex is fine. He is polite and fairly sincere. I can’t pick out anything very wrong with him.
But, he isn’t very curious about me. He doesn’t take a lot of initiative.
It’s so painful.
It makes me wonder why I’m so unlovable. No one wants to date me. No one has put serious effort into me. Ever.
Is it my hair? Is it my vibe? What is it???
Matthew Hussey said that, be a train that is leaving, not one that has reached its destination. He says to let the guy know that you like him, and be willing to walk away.
I want to say to him:
I’m attracted to your personality, I enjoy how you look physically, and I like what you’re doing with your life. Plus we had such a cute start…
But it’s important to me that a guy is curious about my life as I do his, and that we genuinely want to see each other often…even if we can’t meet, we still check in and say hi.
Basing on that you hardly talk to me, I’m guessing you’re not that interested…and with that I just can’t be turned on.
Sigh. What’s the point of saying all that. He is just not that into me. But then, no one is. Not Matthew. Not Patrick. Not Josh. Not Fin. Not Max.
None of these guys want to date me. Wanted more than sex. Wanted to treat me well.
No one has wanted to date me in the past 4 years. Wow. No one. What’s wrong with me?
Is it me or is it the city?
Is it that stage I was in in my life?
Is it my current age.
Sigh. I don’t know. I want to not think about this too much. When it comes, it comes, I guess.
I’m putting my best foot forward. I’m going to events where I think I’ll find people I’m attracted to. I’m even online on those dating apps still. I think…that’s all I can do.
I just feel so sad though. There’s so much frustration. When you want love and there is no love. I’ve been crying every other day.
Is this a simulation? If so, can I ask for love and get it, please?
Dear God, I want a loving boyfriend. A boyfriend that warms my heart and my soul. A boyfriend that I love and loves me.
Thank you.