Month: July 2019

July 20, Johnny Bunny’s bday.

Boy, I’ve tried so hard to give him someone good. Hypnotist, psychic, etc. He is not interested in these.

We ended up going to Stem, Japanese eatery, for their omakase. It was quite nice!

But he is as usual quiet and hard to talk to. It was painful.

There were occasional fun moments, when we asked each other “would you rather” questions. He came up with some good ones. But overall, he was too quiet for me to hear. He was not responsive.

Every time we eat together, I want to break up immediately.

Sigh.

We came back to my place and had sex. The drive was hard for him because the lights were too bright.

Sex was fine. He came too fast so I had to finish myself off. Twice. Sigh.

I really really want to break up with him. I can’t take it anymore.

He is in such a dire state,  I don’t want to leave him high and dry…. he will need some major mindset shifts though.

 

My ideal life:

Live in a beautiful luxury place with views of water, with neighbours close by but I still have complete privacy. For example a high rise penthouse in Vancouver, with skylight, green house, indoor plants including trees, waterfall. Everything is grounded energetically. Have some grass. Modern and minimalistic decor. FIR sauna. Big balcony to host guests. Sea salt pool and hot tub. Shared, or, not-shared, but built in a way that I feel fine to use it even at night haha. Swim naked. Yes!

Voice activated smart house. drone servants.

Lots of anti-aging and brain-boosting devices. Like NanoVi, Cryotank, etc.

Private Chef. Personal Assistant. They live in the building!

I own 2 floors! One for office, one for home. Iron Man style.

Chef and assistant live in one of these floors too.

The next thing I visualize the most about is relationships. I have lots of cool friends who want to visit me! About 200. Like Tom Bilyeu and Dave Asprey have lot of cool friends.

They are interesting, inspiring, sincere people doing cool stuff.

To achieve this, it’s time for me to STEP UP!

Do amazing things.

Because of these friends, doors are open for me to try the latest, most cutting edge things. In beauty, in mind and body enhancements, in technology.

An of course, my health is excellent. I eat well sleep well, am happy, energized, and joyful. I laugh all the time. I have sex several times a week.

My boyfriend is my soulmate. He is smart, funny, and thinks the same of me. We are both successful, thoughtful, mindful, and we love each other. We both have the growth mindset so we are always learning and doing awesome things.

We live in such a big place, we don’t crowd each other. We both get lots of “me time” and “together time”. Love is wonderful. We are also best friends.

My ideal day is to wake up in this beautiful place, with my boyfriend in the place. We have amazing, intimate morning sex, or we cuddle furiously 🙂

We do our passion projects if it happens to be a “work day”. We are mostly concept people now. Others execute. We give the big, creative ideas and vision.

Sometimes we travel spontaneously!

At lunch, chef makes us delicious and healthy lunch, full of our favourite foods. We have hilarious conversations.

In the afternoon, we do some sports together, or hang out with friends together or separate. Or we work some more.

In the evening, it’s either a quiet night where the chef makes us dinner, or we invite friends over for a fun dinner, or we go to visit friends. Always enjoyable.

We wrap up the night with some cool mind and body enhancing tech. Sometimes we have sex. Twice everyday is too much, so we do it once a day, 3 to 5 times a week. We love touching each other. We love loving each other.

That’s it! That’s my ideal life. So simple! 😀

Great living environment, great health, passion project to work on, lots of socializing with cool sincere funny friends, loving each other with the love of my life. That’s it!

 

 

 

I truly think that there’s something relating to “charge” that can destress us. I feel a certain “charge” in me that goes away after:

being in summer air

being in the forrest

shower

green juice

exercise

swim

sleeping on soft bamboo sheet

There’s something here.

—

How do you know if you have high EMF or positive ion level or stress?

—

EZ water seems so magical.

I’m thinking:

natural wood flooring with grounding

something for the face – antiaging

something more powerful than IFR sauna and does not heat you up

does shower do something similar? negative ions

simulated forrest air. Ah…that must be what his device does?

blend tumeric, butter, and salt?

clothes, bedding, fabrics that help with this

imagine feeling that lack of stress, that lightness, always!

I messaged Mike yesterday.

He’s been on my mind again lately. I was listening to the Debaters on CBC radio podcast, and the word “philistine” came up. I thought of him. I wondered if I should message him, and decided against it.

What’s the point? He might ask me what’s going on, I might talk about dating John. Either way, it’s gonna be shallow, British-polite interaction.

Then, after talking to Mom the day before, leaving Masha a message, I was lying on the couch at 1am, and decided in the spur of the moment to send Mike a voice recording. I sounded upbeat and sweet. If he is still into me, surely he’ll find it very cute 🙂

It was Thursday at 2am. It’s now Friday late morning and he hasn’t replied. But somehow, I’m totally ok with it. He is usually too preoccupied by work to reply during the week. I think he’d rather have a real time conversation with me because it’s better. Or, he might not reply. But I think he is too polite not to. Either way, it’s fine by me.

I had a dream about him last night. We were talking together, along with another girl. Probably Emily, or someone similar. Then Mike and I had such a good time together, such amazing chemistry, so much laughter and joy, we just started rubbing our noses together fondly and kissing playfully.

The other girl was in a very awkward position. She eventually just went, “Okaaay” and left. I thought, “How rude of us!” But I can’t help but not care haha. I was too into this moment with him. And so was he. It was such an amazing feeling.

We talked about other things, he showed me a design he did and I complimented him on it. It was quite a detailed dream.

I woke up feeling happy about it. Rubbing my nose at the pillows haha. I closed my eyes and imagined the rest. Getting in bed with him and all.

I want to be with him, or, someone like him who makes me laugh, who can hold a fun debate with me, who laughs at my jokes. Maybe I want more than him. Someone adventurous, wanting to try new things, more business oriented, more growth oriented, more ethically inspiring, more compassionate.

Johnny Bunny has been sweet. He is so sexy. He turned me on in bed often. A year later I’m still very much physically attracted to him. That’s special too. I took a quick look on Bumble and anyone who is around his age looked totally awful. I was reminded as to why I didn’t want to break up with him, and to be grateful. And he is trying very hard to be positive with all the adversity thrown at him. He is special too. And I love the giraffe he gave me so much. It looks like him!

Still, a deeper connection and more common sense of humour are needed.