Month: June 2024

I’m fascinated by this. Tesla is into manifesting!

3 wishes, 6 times a days, 9 seconds each

What will be my 3 wishes?

I thought about it long and hard. Let me make a list:

1. Energetic all day until bed time.
2. Can eat anything I want and stay toned and healthy
3. Full mohawk or full head of hair
4. Toned body with 11 abs
5. Look like a gorgeous 25 yo
6. Be one of top 5 best spikeball players in our meetup
7. Knot Theory does $10M revenue and 25% profit within a year, and growing
8. Have a core group of friends who are fun, smart, sincere, spiritually inspiring and intellectually stimulating, and have time and money to travel the world with me!
9. Have romantic, fun, and sincere flings, each one no more than 1 month apart.

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So I completed the 9 day manifestation of having a romantic, fun, and sincere fling.

During this time, some things were stirred up, but no romance came.

For example at the passport office, mom and I met another mother-daughter team, and the mom wanted to match me up with her 46 yo son.

Or when I played spikeball with Olivier, Marcus, etc, Marcus has potential (and a boner)…but they none of them helped undo my net, so they all failed.

Kent is coming next week. But I’m not interested in him.

Brian invited me to a biz event, and he almost seemed flirty leading up to it. But, the next day he told me about having just split up with his gf. It was the first time I heard about his love life. That tells me that he has no romantic interest in me. I don’t want him, but I was still a bit shook that he absolutely gave up on me.

And John too….having started looking/dating, and telling me about that great first date he had. Sigh.

Keilor is not proactively engaged with my posts. He doesn’t post stories anymore. I guess he isn’t that active about posting stories, and the ones he posted before were for me? I still love him and miss him, but, I’m sad that he is not here with me…

I guess overall, my eyes were more open to guys I have encountered, and there were more encounters. But, nothing came out of any of these.

It’s like the Universe is trying, but there’s just not much available haha.

But the universe is abundant. I can’t imagine how on earth I’ll have my next fling…it all seems very improbable….but, so was Keilor.

Also, I found a fanny pack that is just like what I wanted (needs some sewing though). So that’s a sign that I can manifest!

And today I watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, and a couple found love at 85, and the woman said she’s had daily orgasms since she was 15 haha. That’s gotta be a sign!

Though, I have 4 bunny vibrators now (binge shopping recently), and I watched some doctor porn today and was able to give myself a pretty good orgasm!

These past few days I’ve just been walking around naked in the house (it’s too hot!) and barely working. I haven’t been very motivated to do much, not even Spikeball. I’ve been slowly cleaning up the house, and walking 10,000 steps (1.5hours of walking) daily, and pilates.

It’s as though I’m still on vacation!

I’ve been back from Costa Rica for 2 months now lol

Did I catch an illness? Did I catch the “vacation bug”?

It’s hard to “reel the heart back” once you let it roam free.

I’m grateful that some things have been delegated. Email campaigns, CRO (Branding). If shit hit the fan, I would be forced to bring myself back into work mode. Thankfully, things have been smooth for the most part. (Knock on wood!!) which allowed my mind to relax. Now I think about it, during my vacation in Costa Rica, my mind was actually somewhat stressed. Surfing, socializing, travelling, moving. Lots to worry about. Maybe my brain needed to recover.

Oh and missing Keilor. I think that is a bit draining too.

And my new found goal of working less hard while scaling to 8 figures, and travelling during the cold 6 months every year.

Oh and maybe the fact that I no longer have.a weekly Commit Action call, I got lazy. I don’t miss the stress though!

I think i need to pick myself up from the floor and set some goals again.

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July 22, 2024 Update:

I finished 9 days of saying to myself, “I attract sexy, playful, sincere flings” a little while ago.

Nothing happened. Sigh.

Just sadness.

John has been going on dates with someone.

Brian had a gf.

Kent visited but he was boring and annoying by day 3.

The mom, Suzy, from the passport office wanted to hook me up with her 46yo son. Nothing came out of that.

 

Life is good, truly.

When I think about it, what I do now are simply to keep up the good life, with a little bit of enhancement! That’s how you know life is good 🙂

I want to keep looking young (younger, prettier),
keep being healthy and active (more energy and stamina),
keep being fit (11 lines for abs, lifted ass, toned body overall),
keep thriving in biz (surpass $10M),
keep being rich (more biz profit, invest more)

And the desire to improve upon what’s already good – that’s just human nature.

I suppose the desire to keep thing good / same is also human nature.

I miss Keilor.

I try to not look back too much. Look forward. There might be more cute guys in my future! haha

I’m thankful for Keilor, and the Universe for allowing us to meet.

How much he’s changed my outlook!

Before Costa Rica trip, I was so sad, and feeling unattractive. I had been a virgin for 2 years, and hadn’t had luck attracting guys that I thought were cute.

Actually maybe just one guy, Sid. But he turned out to be an insincere flake, and was not worth knowing anyway. The Universe knew better than to allow us to have a fling. Thank you.

Keilor is so much more sincere, not to mention, way cooler, being a pro surfer with the cutest butt. Oh and way more fun and playful!

Sid was just the best option amongst the very lame options (Spikeball geeks).

Now the cutest guy at Spikeball is probably Herry (terrible name!) But he is just ok cute and he doesn’t seem interested.

Josh is a new Asian guy. Very young, not that good looking, long arms and softish-sticky-ish high fives. BUT, somehow I’m a little drawn to him. Not sure why. Maybe cuz I’m a pedo hahah. The younger the cuter lol.

What I’m working on these days:

1. Lift butt
   1. Have done pilates for 8 days in the past 10 days, and seeing results already!
2. Slim belly
   1. Maybe too much Doritos – never buy 3 bags of chips at once ever again!
   2. Maybe eating too late on Spikeball days. Need to figure out if eating dinner before or after
3. Slim waist
4. Slim inner thighs
5. Grow hair
6. Reduce age spots on face
7. More hydrated skin
8. More relaxed neck
9. More energy
10. More toned arms, legs, body
11. Less eye floaters
12. Heal my left forearm (volleyball injury)
13. Less butt cellulite
14. Firmer lower belly
15. Less face cellulite
16. More lifted and tone kegal muscles

Gosh, so many things to improve. Racing against the clock lol.

I wish there’s an easier way to stay young forever!

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Today, I used a dildo. Usually I use my vibrator, but today I wanted to try vaginal orgasm. I’m experimental perhaps because I’m ovulating haha. I know because of the watery foul smeller earlier in the day.

The dildo had a suction cup, so I was able to pin it to the bathroom wall and to a chair. I tried different positions. I was not that aroused!

I was a little surprised.

Turned out the position that got me the closest to an orgasm was side ways!

So it wasn’t about the direction/curve of the dick…I simply am more stimulated in the right way when I’m on my side!

Learned something new about myself haha

I was getting close to an O, and I said Keilor’s name. And suddenly I burst out in tears.

I didn’t want to cry, but it was a good release I suppose.

I’m torn between 2 thoughts. Thoughts of putting him on the pedestal (“He is so special, and he really cared about me”), and thoughts of “he’s not that great and we’re not that compatible anyway”

Ultimately both are true.

I don’t want to undermine our experience by belittling him. But sometimes I miss him so much I feel that I need to balance my hopelessly romantic side with some practical thoughts.

But I stop myself from getting to far in that direction.

If he messages me, I would melt. I would fall hard for him straight away lol.

Next thing you know, I’d be flying over there.