Category: Uncategorized

Date with Brad OKC at Cafe Joie

Oh wow, I just had coffee with Brad from OKC, and he was such an interesting person!

I think he is 28. Gemini. Not looking for a relationship. Colour-blind. Total entrepreneur. Starting a bouldering denim brand.

He has so many interesting stories.

I didn’t expect him to be cute, but he was actually quite cute! Blue eyes, nice nose, nice-ish body. Nice shoulder width, good skin. Looked really young…maybe 16 lol. He was wearing a hat so I wasn’t sure what his hair line looked like. When he stood up, I noticed that his legs are a bit too skinny for me. But overall, he was nice-looking.

When my sweet potato latte was ready, he stood up to get it for me. That was sweet.

We talked for a solid 2 hours. He was very easy to talk to, like a typical Gemini. Bouldering, that’s a typical Gemini thing to do too. He is a lot like Matthew. Not as hot, but seemingly more sunny.

He had no trouble flirting and complementing me. He told me I look 24, and that I have high cheek bones and nice face shape so I look great without hair too. Said I was lean.

I flirted back by saying I like younger guys with no facial hair.

When we parted ways in front of the cafe, by my car and by the street, he leaned in for a kiss. I sorta didn’t expect that. And somehow that turned into a make out session! I was more attracted to him than I realized. I remembered that he was Gemini and squeezed his arms. He put his hand around my neck and chin (I think?) and my waist. It was pretty hot. I didn’t want to stop.

Then when he turned around to go to his car, he walked into a pole! It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. He was like, “Oh look what you did to me!” hahaha.

I was so hot an heavy I can’t even concentrate after! Ugh. So cute.

He got rear-ended on the way back, which was too bad. Said his back was sore from it. His mind was more on that instead of our makeout session I bet. But he did mention walking into the pole again, and I said it was really cute. He liked that.

 

2nd date with Will

I’m actually super nervous about second date with Will tonight.

I don’t know if he likes me, and I think he is hot. So…

I’ve been watching a lot of charisma videos by Charlie the past two days. (He is super hot!)

So I want to talk about:

  1. Whiskers falling 20 floors off a building, lady on 12th floor saw her.
  2. What did I do this week…
    1. hang out with some friends…thai food
    2. went to an entrepreneur group…a guy went to one of the best school in London, but had to unlearn what he learned
    3. hung out with neighbour – cat story
    4. hiring a new VA (150 applicants, IQ, icing on a cake)
    5. alopecia video – invisalign
    6. skytrain – someone took a photo of my feet
  3. Jump and the net will appear
  4. Acting, auditioning process – how long does it take to create the character and get into character?

—

So date with Will was fun tonight. We went to that pub by the Commercial and Broadway skytrain. Same place that Sam from OKC and I went, haha. Except Sam didn’t have 2 pieces of ID and we had to leave. This time, the waitress ID’d both of us. Maybe she just wanted to ID Will, but was being polite with me haha.

We were going to meet at Chill Winston, which is further, but I was a bit excited about it. But then he changed it to meeting at the skytrain about 2 hours prior. I was a bit disappointed, because it felt like a lesser date before it even began. But I told myself to not sweat it.

Don’t know the name of this place…but they have some really delicious beers! But I was being good and only had a cider which is gluten-free. I had sips of Will’s beers though, and they were really yummy. Best I’ve ever had actually.

We chatted a lot and never ran out of things to talk about. I think he does find me pretty funny. But he laughs in a weird way. And when he thinks what I say is funny, he repeats what I just said, and then laugh. Sometimes he covers his mouth and laughs.

He is funny sometimes. Like when he said that the Dolly Parton park would have these cup rides that are bras. 20 ppl sit in the cups. And they are actually her bras.

I don’t know how I laugh around him…maybe a bit weird too. It’s not like with, say, Monique yesterday, where I just laughed really loud.

I liked that he asked me what Universe I want to live in. We talked about a lot of them…Marvel, Star Wars, Futurama.

He stares right into my eyes no problem. He has very deep set, monolid eyes, which are quite sexy. They are a nice blue too.

He has really good hair. Shiny, full, and healthy.

There’s a bump on his nose..not sure what it is and not too attracted to that..but it’s a small bump.

His lips are unusual. Different than most people.

There were times that we talked really close…and I think if I want to I can stay at that distance and we’d end up kissing. But, I didn’t really care to.

I’m attracted to him. But, maybe not attracted enough to act on impulse.

He is not as attractive as I remember actually. But still cute.

His features remind me of Lynsey! Especially his eyes, nose, and complexion. I think he turns blonde in the summer.

He doesn’t flirt with me. That’s probably another thing about him that makes him turn me on less. I think he is attracted…but he just doesn’t flirt.

I don’t flirt unless the guy flirts first. I did give him clues though. After improv I told him that everyone agreed that he was cute and talented. And today, I mentioned how I’d go to the fridge during Mastermind meetings.

“How long are these meetings that you need to go to the fridge during it?” He asked.

“1 hour” Haha.

He said that he’s never seen me eat, I said I don’t get hungry if I’m at a party or if I’m excited or nervous. He said he’s glad that he made me feel that way.

That’s our biggest flirty conversation tonight. Lol.

Just now instead of saying he had a good time, or that I looked good tonight, he texted to tell me to let him know when I’m home safe.

And after we chatted a bit, he said, Sleep well. That’s what he said last time! That’s boring!

Matthew is the opposite. He’d get home and tell me how amazing the night was. He flirts in chat like no one else – impossibly witty and charming and adorable. Ironically, he can never do improv like Will can. But I’m more similar to Matthew. Still miss and want that guy. Though I’m starting to see where he is lacking. Especially compared to Charlie.

When we parted ways today, Will gave me a big tight hug and he said that he hopes to see me again. No kiss. But I’m not surprised. He takes it slow.

I’m not rushed. But I’m also not interested in dating him anymore. He is not as cute as I remembered and he is too different. Also he is needing a job at a bar in order to make ends meet as an actor. That’s understandable, but, he is going to be limited to doing only free and cheap things together as a couple. That’s ok as a friend, but not as ok as a boyfriend.

Take, our date, for example. It’s not even dinner!

I would aim to eventually make out with him, and then be friends with benefits if possible. He seems like a really nice guy.

I don’t know what’s on his mind though. Maybe he is thinking the same. Maybe he has other better candidates. Maybe he doesn’t want a friend with benefits.

—

I was downtown today for my invisalign appointment. I looked good I guess. Lots of guys checking me out. Or, my hair out. One stopped me in front of Dressew and asked me who does my hair. Then he told me he lived in Shanghai for 2 years and started talking Mandarin to me.

When I was waiting for the skytrain, a woman came up to me to tell me how wonderful my hair looked.

I saw a few cute guys down town. There were 2 on the skytrain! Wow. That’s high density. There was one that I saw walking past that looked like Chris, the hot guy on Tinder who ghosted me before we even met. He also looked maladjusted and grumpy, kinda like how I imagined Chris to be in person. Maybe it was him!

The guys I find cute never check me out or asks me out though. Can’t it just happen once! A cute guy asking me out?

 

 

Still a bit sad; time to leave online dating apps

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I haven’t been very productive at all.

Today, I worked out. I wrote some emails. That was it.

I browsed online, I listened to Happiness Advantage audio book. I discovered the youtube channel “Charisma on Command” and watched it like an addict. I watched Mr. Robot. I watched more of Charisma.

I’m now in love with this youtuber, Charlie Houpert. But I’ll never have someone like that. He is out of my league.

What is my league?

I feel so old and unattractive.

I’m settling all the time, each day, to less, it seems.

Maybe OKCupid and Zoosk are what’s bringing me down.

I think I need to cut these out of my life.

All of them. Tinder, Bumble, Happn.

I’m too old for some of these apps, and too young for some other apps.

I think the only way is to meet people in real life.

My husband

My husband, the love of my life, is like this:

He loves me for who I am. He loves how I look without hair, loves how I look with hair. He loves the person I am, loves my attitude towards life, and is inspired by me.

I never doubt his love for me. He is patient, cute, loving, sincere, dedicated, and inspiring. He is monogamous like me. We are there for each other 100%. We love each other.

We are soul mates. We thank our lucky stars that we get to be together in this life. We are each other’s number one fan. We admire, adore, and cherish each other.

We make each other happier. We make each other better.

I’m a movement by myself.
But I’m a force when we’re together.

“Make me better” will be our song.

I think my manifestation power is growing, so I want to make my vision clear.

I’ll meet my love at either Tony Robin’s event this November, or at Ryan Moran’s event this December.

He is rich, successful, fun, funny, smart, witty, loving, loyal, adventurous, creative, like me.

He is around the same age as me, cute and young-looking, has a nice body, like me.

He is ambitious, like me. He has the same wants and goals as me.

He is passionate, romantic, and amazing in bed, like me.

He has a positive attitude towards life. He has friends. He is a thoughtful, encouraging, patient, supportive, and caring person. He is good natured, not hot tempered like me. I learn from him. We learn from each other.

Most of all, we love each other equally much. There’s an abundance of love. Never lacking. We can’t help but lavish each other in love!

 

Still missing Matthew

The truth is that I still miss this guy.

No one is as funny, witty, hot, attentive in bed, cute, ambitious, successful, and similar to me as Matthew.

No one else can turn me on so much and give me 14 orgasms. The way he kisses my ears is perfect. The way he fucks me is perfect. Everything about him is perfect.

I miss him so much still. I miss having sex with him, I miss chatting with him.

But I gotta let it go. Free my mind.

He’ll never be the one, as much as I want him to be.

I want him all to myself. I want to be in a monogamous relationship. At least, I think I do.

I want someone who can love how I look without hair. I think he just accepts it but doesn’t love it.

Those are my two deal makers: monogamy and love for who I am.

Matthew is perfect in every way, but he can’t be those two.

 

 

Dating so far

Online-dating has been depressing. I don’t know if it’s because of being 36, or because of having alopecia, or because I’m just so different from everyone (and picky). Either way, it’s not been very successful so far.

Having an entrepreneurial spirit, I should tweak my listing and keep trying I suppose. But it’s so depressing to hear from ugly, lacklustre guys, and to not hear from cute guys.

I mean, it’s not all bad I supposed. I did meet Fin, did hook up with a couple young guys who want to have relationships with me, and did meet Will, who is cute and funny.

He seems to be very bad at articulating himself, and I felt like giving up on this already. I couldn’t tell if he was interested. Apparently he is, just bad at expressing it.

Overall he is really cute though. One of the cutest guys I’ve ever met. He really seems like a movie star. A good looking villain for sure!

 

 

 

4 Dates this Week; Tinder Will improv

Crazy day on Sunday! Went on two dates in a row.

One at Starbucks with Mario from Zoosk, 3 to 5pm, one at Blenz with Will from Tinder at 5pm.

Date with Mario was ultra boring. He is a very boring person. His German accent was not hot either. He bought us teas, and then we walked around. It was nice out. We found a dog park and sat down on the bench. A really cute dog hopped onto the bench to join us. But he was all wet!

Mario was a very timid person leading an unexciting life. Movie special effects sounds like a fun job, but I guess not. For the most part it’s boring, animating inanimate objects. He did create Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible, for a stunt scene. He said they even had to add his high heels. That’s pretty funny.

Every lost date gives a funny story at least!

I said good bye to Mario at the skytrain station entrance, right beside Blenz, then walked into Blenz to meet Will.

Will and I have a mutual friend, Tyler! We were gonna meet up and then I’d go see his improv. Ty said he doesn’t know Will very well, but he is a good looking guy. He gets cast in Hallmark movies, leading roles even – but he is always the villain. He hasn’t been very fun to chat with, and his profile pics were very iffy, so I wasn’t expecting much. I swiped right because he does improv!

I was texting Lisa when he suddenly showed up. He was hot! WTF!

(But I feel like for a tiny moment he might have looked like he wasn’t impressed with my appearance…I’m not sure.)

He was definitely hotter than the photos. And at 6’2”, he is a good height.

We also walked around a lot. I was tired lol.

In front of a sushi place, he asked if I liked sushi and if I wanted to go in. I really wasn’t hungry, so I said nah. But then I said if he is hungry we can go in and I’ll watch him eat. He shyly refused, saying that he was a messy eater.

He was pretty funny….even though our jokes didn’t quite match.

We sat on a random bench and talked more. He was curious about my transition from software into fashion. He acts like a real date, not too touchy or sexual.

I feel like I wasn’t a very good date. I actually didn’t ask him many questions. The truth is I wasn’t that interested in him until I saw him….so I wasn’t prepared I guess. Or maybe I’m used to being indifferent on first date.

We parted ways after just over an hour, so that he can go to his improv, and I can go home then drive to the improv with Lisa. He said he hopes to see me again. I guess it went ok.

Picked up Lisa, and met up with Erin at improv. She was with two friends, and I know one of them – Lucy, whom I played volleyball with!

Also met up with Amy, Harvey, and Linda!

Will was on during the first half. He was on the left side of the stage, and we sat at the very front at the left side of the stage, so I was rather close to him.

He was great! He was so quick, so funny, and hot. Everyone said he was cute and funny. He was definitely the cutest on stage, by far.

I noticed that he had a bit of a belly, but his overall body shape is nice. Nice ass.

During intermission, he walked by and said thanks for coming. I said he was great and gave him a hug. Erin said he was awkward…but I didn’t notice it. Erin also said that he seemed like a nice guy.

Ty came on during the second half. He was pretty good! There are definitely moments where he seemed inexperienced, but there were many funny moments. Will was better and more experienced though, haha.

I went for a bite at the Keg with Lisa. She is a bit serious and boring this time. But it was alright.

Ty sat with Amy and her gang, and came over at one point. I don’t run out of things to talk about with Ty. We get along well. Later when we were leaving, I went to Ty’s table and we talked so much again.

He is going on a 3-week road trip with Cyndi! I wish he was here and we can hang out more… and maybe with Will.

I messaged Will to tell him that I had fun meeting him and the show was great.

He said thanks for coming and hopes to see me again soon. I said yes, lets!

Then later that night, around 1am, I decided to tell him that everyone agreed that he was cute and talented. He said that’s good news, and glad that we were all up front.

He is really terrible at texting. That, or he wasn’t very interested.

I guess I’ll find out if we have a second date.

I went on 4 dates this week, an I’m just so jaded already.

Had sex Wednesday and Thursday, with Blake (sorta once) and Sam (5 times). They are 29 and 25, but I’m not very attracted to them. Sigh.

I really just want to have frequent, passionate sex with someone who loves me, and someone with mutual attraction. I miss Fin’s passion, and I miss everything about Matthew. I’m in sad zone again…

Been a month on dating apps; Blake

I’ve spent about a month on dating apps. The first was Tinder, which I installed in the car, after seeing Erin’s ice dancing competition. Then it was Coffee meets Bagel, then it was Ok Cupid and Zoosk (paid $100USD for this crap), and most recently, I decided to go all the way, and downloaded Bumble and Happn as well. 6 apps altogether!

But I’ve only been on 3 dates. First one was Fin, and it was pretty good considering. Then it was Andrew, which didn’t work out. Then there was Blake, who was so genuine and sweet, but is basically the opposite of me.

I was going to tell him that I change my mind about having a second date, but he called me instead to texting me, and caught me off guard.

So I still went on a date with him, tonight. I really wasn’t super excited. I already knew that we had nothing in common. Though part of me hoped to be proved wrong.

He worked 10 hours today, so he was beat. Then he went to the gym. Then he decided to not take a nap and just came to see me. But we ate locally, at a sushi place called Giwa. It was quite ghetto but tasted alright.

I wanted to check once more if Blake was cute, but he insisted on sitting next to me again. It was kinda cute that he has this habit though. I have it too but I don’t force it on first/second date.

He was wearing a hat, which made it even harder to tell if I like his face or not.

We had so little to talk about. That rarely happens. Just yesterday Ty and I couldn’t talk enough. This morning, Angela, Cate, Jo and I had a 3 hour meeting and talked the entire time. We had so much fun.

We drove to Burnaby Mountain, and it was packed. I just realized it was probably because the Northern Light was supposedly visible tonight. But I didn’t even wear my glasses or put contacts in tonight.

We got out of the car and walked around. It was cold.

I realized I have been here before, and had outdoor sex with Nicolas. It was actually good, as far as I can remember.

Blake and I joked about doing it right there, despite there being so many people including kids around.

We started making out in the middle of a path. It wasn’t super steamy though…I just wasn’t super attracted to him. We made out some more while standing on the grass by the path, and decided to go to his place.

I wasn’t super thrilled, but thought, well, maybe he can impress me in bed. I also imagined that he’d have a nice body, at least similar to his Tinder photo.

So he lives in a basement with a roommate. It wasn’t a great place, but wasn’t terrible.

He started off sucking on my toe, which was a surprise. He happened to choose my toe with the toenail fucked up by playing volleyball. He didn’t seem to notice, and said I had cute feet. No one has ever sucked on my toes before. It felt nice.

Then he went to rinse off his mouth, thankfully. And maybe washed up a bit. We started making out, and eventually took everything off, including my wig.

His body was, unfortunately, ab-less. His body shape wasn’t terrible, but overall, I was unimpressed. His original arm tattoos are ok, but he got a new tattoo on his chest, “Too hot”. It was not great.

The surprise though, was that he was not hard. After a while, he got hard for like a few minutes, and came quickly.

We tried again, and he never got hard again. He said it was because he’s been having sex while high on cocaine for the past 10 years, so he was surprised that he even came the first time.

That’s another thing. On our first date, he told me that he was clean now, that he used to do cocaine but no more, because he has grown up. Today, he told me that he lied. He had been clean since he saw me (3 weeks).

Technically I don’t think he lied, but still…I was under the impression that he was sober longer.

His dick was quite small. Probably smaller than all guys I’ve been with, except the Asian guy. I can still feel it, while it was briefly hard, but it was small.

He was good at finding my g-spot with his hand though!

He asked to see me on Saturday, but I said I have tentative plans. He asked me what tentative meant…

He asked if I wanted to see him again. I said I was trying to decide. He said we can be casual. Well, if there’s no (good) sex, what’s the point?

So that’s that..

I’m talking to a few guys these days. It helps me not feel too disappointed when one guy falls through.

I’m talking to Mario from Zoosk, Sam from OKC, 3 guys from Bumble, 2 guys from Tinder, and also there’s a new match from Happn.

So 7 guys, plus one match.

I don’t think any of them will pan out though. I want to meet a fellow successful ASMer, who is rich, understands me, and location independent!