Month: January 2022

Didn’t write about this before, but it’s worth writing about.

I had a ferry reserved for Dec 28th, Victoria to Vancouver.

Mom was worried about the snow but I wasn’t.

I drove slowly. The roads were covered in snow, but I thought once I got on the highway I’d be fine.

Nope! The hwy was worse! It was covered in a thin sheet of slippery snow!

I couldn’t keep up the 90 speed limit, nor the 60….I drove at 40km/h for the most part.

At one point, I spun out! I was perpendicular to the oncoming traffic!

Thankfully the oncoming traffic all stopped, and waited patiently for me to recover. I saw about 8 pairs of headlights! No one honked.

I tried 5 or 6 times to turn, and it finally worked.

I drove even more carefully after that.

The 45 minute drive was now doubled the time.

I was tense on the wheel the entire drive, and super careful. I tried to not accelerate too quickly, I kept steady as much as possible, and I tried not to stop at all.

Nonetheless, I spun out again about an hour later.

This time, a cab was near me. He drove past me. Someone behind me honked.

I tried to recover, but this time, I hit the back of Max with the side of the highway.

Ouch!

I thought, I’ll check the damage when I get on the ferry.

I got to the ferry, on time!

But the wait at the ticketing was long.

Eventually, we all got on the ferry.

I got out of Max and checked on him.

The ENTIRE bumper was gone!

WTF.

It was surprising, saddening, but a little amusing at the same time.

I called Bunny and asked about the road condition in Vancouver. Typical of him, he said I’ll be fine, just drive carefully. He did check the hwy cams though, and said it was fine.

I was thinking perhaps I should uber home. But then, it’s almost impossible to do it. Once off the ferry, it’s just endless highways.

I was pretty worried on the ferry. I tried to distract myself by reading a book about relationship secrets haha. It was called “Endless Honeymoons”. I tried to learn more about both John and Alex.

Waiting to drive off the ferry, I pulled out the Goddess of Compassion protection badge that Mom had just given me that day, and put it on the dashboard.

When I drove off the ferry, I did it super slowly. During this journey, I was so stressed I almost cried. But the road condition in Vancouver was excellent! No new snowfall, no snow/ice on the hwy. Thank God!

I made it home safely.

Thank you, Goddess of Compassion!

 

 

 

Went to Bunny’s with lots of groceries. Ordered Yanaki sushi. Watched wheel of fortune and jeopardy. Oh and watched a show about how the super rich spend their money. This one house in Switzerland was amazing. Private ski lift, 7 stories underground, mink wall.

After the food arrived, watched “Don’t Look Up”, then watched “The Book of Boba Fett”. Did some cuddling and actually had sex! First time in 8 months! And then did the NYE countdown with New York while drinking apple pear bubbly from Costco.

That was it! A chill night.

Some facts:

1. It was good, I guess, that we finally had sex after 8 months. But it was so bad. It was a little bit worse than before because of his knee, but it was that much worse now that I have Alex to compare him too. I miss Alex so much. The sex we had was so brief..less than 5 minutes. The kisses were rushed. The entry was….I didn’t feel anything.. And he didn’t even look at me…he leaned forward and pounded me in a way that didn’t feel very good. He finished after a minute or two with lots of grunting like it was the most gruelling exercise (that’s not new). I felt so….disappointed. But I tried not to show it too much.
2. After sex he immediately talked about other things. Like the expensive house in Switzerland. I’m not surprised because I know exactly what makes him tick now: imagining riches. I asked him how much money he’d need to start enjoying his money. He says about $1MM. He wants a house in possibly Miami and a house in Squamish. I’m not in the picture. That’s fine. I know for sure now that I’m not in his future. He is not in mine.
3. The movie Don’t Look Up was fun! I think and hope it’s a satire on covid. That’s one thing I did appreciate of Bunny tonight: we were able to enjoy this satire together.
4. He annoyed me with a few things, but did a few things correct too.. overall pretty pleasant night.

So, it was a cozy night. Not as fun as with Alex though. Nothing is.

But Alex still hasn’t said anything to me. It’s been 2 weeks now. I’m so sad about this.

I think about what to say to him if he said this, if he said that. But I reel myself in. I shouldn’t think too much about what to say until I do hear from him.

You feel like of course you will! You had such an amazing time together! But nothing is as smooth as hoped.

Manifest my real boyfriend / husband after John. That’s the most important.