Went to Bunny’s with lots of groceries. Ordered Yanaki sushi. Watched wheel of fortune and jeopardy. Oh and watched a show about how the super rich spend their money. This one house in Switzerland was amazing. Private ski lift, 7 stories underground, mink wall.
After the food arrived, watched “Don’t Look Up”, then watched “The Book of Boba Fett”. Did some cuddling and actually had sex! First time in 8 months! And then did the NYE countdown with New York while drinking apple pear bubbly from Costco.
That was it! A chill night.
Some facts:
- It was good, I guess, that we finally had sex after 8 months. But it was so bad. It was a little bit worse than before because of his knee, but it was that much worse now that I have Alex to compare him too. I miss Alex so much. The sex we had was so brief..less than 5 minutes. The kisses were rushed. The entry was….I didn’t feel anything.. And he didn’t even look at me…he leaned forward and pounded me in a way that didn’t feel very good. He finished after a minute or two with lots of grunting like it was the most gruelling exercise (that’s not new). I felt so….disappointed. But I tried not to show it too much.
- After sex he immediately talked about other things. Like the expensive house in Switzerland. I’m not surprised because I know exactly what makes him tick now: imagining riches. I asked him how much money he’d need to start enjoying his money. He says about $1MM. He wants a house in possibly Miami and a house in Squamish. I’m not in the picture. That’s fine. I know for sure now that I’m not in his future. He is not in mine.
- The movie Don’t Look Up was fun! I think and hope it’s a satire on covid. That’s one thing I did appreciate of Bunny tonight: we were able to enjoy this satire together.
- He annoyed me with a few things, but did a few things correct too.. overall pretty pleasant night.
So, it was a cozy night. Not as fun as with Alex though. Nothing is.
But Alex still hasn’t said anything to me. It’s been 2 weeks now. I’m so sad about this.
I think about what to say to him if he said this, if he said that. But I reel myself in. I shouldn’t think too much about what to say until I do hear from him.
You feel like of course you will! You had such an amazing time together! But nothing is as smooth as hoped.
Manifest my real boyfriend / husband after John. That’s the most important.