Life is good, truly.
When I think about it, what I do now are simply to keep up the good life, with a little bit of enhancement! That’s how you know life is good 🙂
I want to keep looking young (younger, prettier),
keep being healthy and active (more energy and stamina),
keep being fit (11 lines for abs, lifted ass, toned body overall),
keep thriving in biz (surpass $10M),
keep being rich (more biz profit, invest more)
And the desire to improve upon what’s already good – that’s just human nature.
I suppose the desire to keep thing good / same is also human nature.
I miss Keilor.
I try to not look back too much. Look forward. There might be more cute guys in my future! haha
I’m thankful for Keilor, and the Universe for allowing us to meet.
How much he’s changed my outlook!
Before Costa Rica trip, I was so sad, and feeling unattractive. I had been a virgin for 2 years, and hadn’t had luck attracting guys that I thought were cute.
Actually maybe just one guy, Sid. But he turned out to be an insincere flake, and was not worth knowing anyway. The Universe knew better than to allow us to have a fling. Thank you.
Keilor is so much more sincere, not to mention, way cooler, being a pro surfer with the cutest butt. Oh and way more fun and playful!
Sid was just the best option amongst the very lame options (Spikeball geeks).
Now the cutest guy at Spikeball is probably Herry (terrible name!) But he is just ok cute and he doesn’t seem interested.
Josh is a new Asian guy. Very young, not that good looking, long arms and softish-sticky-ish high fives. BUT, somehow I’m a little drawn to him. Not sure why. Maybe cuz I’m a pedo hahah. The younger the cuter lol.
What I’m working on these days:
- Lift butt
- Have done pilates for 8 days in the past 10 days, and seeing results already!
- Slim belly
- Maybe too much Doritos – never buy 3 bags of chips at once ever again!
- Maybe eating too late on Spikeball days. Need to figure out if eating dinner before or after
- Slim waist
- Slim inner thighs
- Grow hair
- Reduce age spots on face
- More hydrated skin
- More relaxed neck
- More energy
- More toned arms, legs, body
- Less eye floaters
- Heal my left forearm (volleyball injury)
- Less butt cellulite
- Firmer lower belly
- Less face cellulite
- More lifted and tone kegal muscles
Gosh, so many things to improve. Racing against the clock lol.
I wish there’s an easier way to stay young forever!
Today, I used a dildo. Usually I use my vibrator, but today I wanted to try vaginal orgasm. I’m experimental perhaps because I’m ovulating haha. I know because of the watery foul smeller earlier in the day.
The dildo had a suction cup, so I was able to pin it to the bathroom wall and to a chair. I tried different positions. I was not that aroused!
I was a little surprised.
Turned out the position that got me the closest to an orgasm was side ways!
So it wasn’t about the direction/curve of the dick…I simply am more stimulated in the right way when I’m on my side!
Learned something new about myself haha
I was getting close to an O, and I said Keilor’s name. And suddenly I burst out in tears.
I didn’t want to cry, but it was a good release I suppose.
I’m torn between 2 thoughts. Thoughts of putting him on the pedestal (“He is so special, and he really cared about me”), and thoughts of “he’s not that great and we’re not that compatible anyway”
Ultimately both are true.
I don’t want to undermine our experience by belittling him. But sometimes I miss him so much I feel that I need to balance my hopelessly romantic side with some practical thoughts.
But I stop myself from getting to far in that direction.
If he messages me, I would melt. I would fall hard for him straight away lol.
Next thing you know, I’d be flying over there.