Spent all day with Jeffrey yesterday. 1:30 ’til 10:30.
We went to Point Roberts to pick up our parcels.
Afterwards, he wanted to look around. I like that about him. We went to a lighthouse beach with no light house, ate at the Marina. The Marina was newly renovated and very pretty. The next day’s programming was “Jeffrey Elvis”. Haha. I took a pic of him with the little poster. He looked so good.
I tried to compliment him more. It’s my own self improvement. I was inspired by him.
He wasn’t very touchy with me. I guess he never was. In the car he mentioned going somewhere with me (a mini getaway), but I said, I don’t know where we are at now.
He seemed curious about my camping. How I wish that he’d come to Hawkins trip with me. We’d have so much fun. He’d love it.
We got back to my place. I invited him up. “Cuddling” is now a code word for sex lol. We had some great sex. I actually enjoyed sucking on his dick.
He came twice. I like sex with him. He is getting hotter and hotter too.
He didn’t want to keep lying down, so we decided to go have some sushi.
We went to the park first. He didn’t seem particularly interested, so I wasn’t expecting it to be fun. But he surprised me. We hopped on this spinning thing, but then he got off and spun me. It was fun! I spun him and he had fun too.
I showed him the slide. He didn’t like it as much. But we got on the seesaw, and that was even more fun. He’d bounce me up into the sky! I laughed so much. He tried to record me.
We went to Joy Sushi but it was closed. It was Good Friday plus it was 9:30pm already. We went to WholeFoods and grabbed some light dinner, came back and ate on the couch.
I paid for lunch. He grabbed dinner. It was still nice like before, but awkward.
I told him about my 10 year relationship with Norm, and he told me about his 10 year relationship with Amy. He seemed like such a great boyfriend. I wish he was mine. When he went on biz trips, he’d leave gifts for her to open each day. Wow. She didn’t want to do anything. She didn’t even open the gifts each day. If he was mine, and treats me this way, I would be with him forever. Except for this kids thing. Sigh.
I cried, he cried a little.
He said he wanted to stay, but he had to get up early the next day to go skiing.
After he got home, he messaged me some more from bed. Said he really loved being around me. I said me too.
But this can’t go on like this. Ambiguously.
At around 3am, I decided to write him an email. I told him that he is amazing, and I want to be with him. I told him that it doesn’t feel right to swipe on Tinder while we spend time together. I suggested that we set a date, such as July 1, and we’ll date until then.
I don’t know if he’ll agree to that. I don’t know how we’ll act in this time frame. I don’t know how sad we’d be when we part ways.
I really like him. But honestly I was ready to let him go after he ended it. I was super sad, I cried and cried for 2.5 days. Nonstop. I went on a date with Will, felt better. But now he is back. I can get attached again.
If we just have a “fling” (…funny how that’s what I had always wanted and never got, but now it’s not) then we can at least enjoy each other for short while.
I guess, I’ll see what he says.
God, what game are you playing with me? with us?
