I haven’t been productive. I’ve been tired.
I dunno if it’s because of period, Jeffrey, going to Victoria, stress, bad diet, or lack of exercise. Or eyebrow and lip tattoos.
Period is half way through. Back from Victoria. Improving my diet. Will be exercising and meditating to manage stress.
Jeffrey. Sigh.
I’m well aware that we are not ideal for each other. I know we’ll get bored. I know we have some big differences. But I love how he loves me. And I want to love someone who loves me like that.
So I still cry.
A couple days ago, he messaged me again. We chatted a tiny bit. The next day we chatted a tiny bit more.
I guess I was crying just anyway. But, it feels worse after / during talking to him.
Today, I masturbated, almost just to relieve stress. I tried to think of things that turn me on. Eventually, I got turned on thinking about Jeffrey. I climaxed, and immediately after, I bursted into tears. WTF.
That never happened.
It was close with Jeff, but not quite like this.
Maybe I like Jeffrey more than I realize. He is not perfect, but he is perfect where it counts.
Sigh.
I started watching Friends. That show is still so well written. Chandler is probably the coolest still, but now I see that Ross is so much like Jeffrey. Such a sweet guy. His ex was a lesbian too, most likely, haha.
I’m going on a date tomorrow, but I don’t expect much of it. He does have a really cute dog though! A golden doodle.