Had the wedding entrance song in my head the past two days. Not sure why. I guess subconscious is a powerful thing.
I wasn’t even sure if it was the wedding bells. I had to youtube it to verify just now.
What’s been going on lately?
Well, I socialized a bit. Hung out with Julianna at EXP, went to fish and chips with Lisa, hiked the Chief with Norm, organized my first meetup in 30’s women without kids (a beach walk), and went to Vanthony’s party.
I was out in the sun for a bit. I practiced volleyball 3 times last week, at the park.
My skin has been dry. Not sure if it was from using vasaline those few days. It’s slowly getting better.
I finished 1 week of salt drink first thing in the morning, to replenish my adrenals.
I finally finished the Scratchable World Map. Still have to design the packaging though.
There are many days I didn’t work because I didn’t feel like it, or have too many social plans. But oh well. I’m still getting some stuff done.
Oh and I watched way too much of Trollhunters! Actually I finished all 26 episodes of Season 1. It turned out to be really good! It’s been so entertaining.
I had a bit of a clairvoyant moment. Yesterday I was thinking about death, how I’d like to choose when it is, and go peacefully. And today, I saw a video of someone in Victoria who did exactly that. He had such a good sense of humour, and his going-away party was really great! So much dignity and love.
Mom liked it, and said that’s what she’d want too. A few other people did too. And a few moments ago, surprisingly, so did Jeffrey.
I didn’t think I’d have any interaction with him ever again. My body heated up a few times after that. But I didn’t cry. I’m ok. I think of him still, for sure. Like when I see Bubbles, who has grown so much since Jeffrey gave him to me 2 months ago for my birthday. Or when I was at Vanthony’s birthday dinner and Julia found out we had broken up.
I will not have anything to do with him. I can’t be friends with him. I don’t know how some people do it. Friend someone they want to be with but can’t. I feel like that was what he was trying to do.
Anyway. The more I thought about me and him, the more I feel that we would not work out anyway.
But, looking at the guys who contact me on OKC….sigh. I don’t feel like giving anyone a chance. I just don’t feel that they are “the one”.
Believe, achieve. I hear wedding bells. And it’s almost June! My love is coming 🙂 <3 <3 🙂