It was Monday (Feb 12th), day after our safari trip. I felt shitty with the knowledge of Sam and Michelle (not 100% confirmed…but still I felt like shit thiking about it). I had meant to write in my journal earlier in an attempt to sort my thoughts and to come up with a way to “balance” myself so I don’t feel so shitty. I didn’t know how.
The morning / afternoon was fun. Berta was trying to dodge Dan’s stickiness so she worked with me on the couch on the balcony. We turned the sofa around so we can charge of laptops from Brian’s room. She put her legs up on the wall, and I put my legs up on both sides of the door frame into Brian’s room. It was pretty hilarious.
Later in the afternoon, Sam, Robert, and Julia all came to work on the balcony. I was not in a good mood because Maria took my adaptor. But mainly, I felt weird still about Sam.
I was lying in bed using my phone, waiting for my laptop to charge, when he came through our bedroom. He just ignored me and kept going. How rude. I felt a heated tingling sensation in his presence. I thought I was gonna be more ok.
I got the adaptor that Pia lent me to work in the outlet that’s by my bed, so I decided to work from my bed. There was no space on the balcony left anyway.
I put on my headphone and noise-cancelled the shit out of the conversation on the balcony.
I thought abuot how he always had to leave soon after I get home, and wondered why the fuck he hadn’t left yet.
For dinner I suggested 3 wise monkeys. So some of us were going.
As Sam was leaving, he asked if I was ok. I didn’t know what to say. Besides, there were people on the balcony! I just said yes. He said, are you sure? I said yes.
I was getting ready for dinner, so I asked if he was coming. Surprisingly he said yes. He just needed to go home to change.
We went to dinner. I was excited about having the poke bowl again! I really didn’t expect Sam to come. He was late, but he came! Without Robert being there even.
I did dress nicely in my turquoise wrap skirt just in case. Also I didn’t wear a wig, because on the weekend I noticed him staring at me for the first time when I wasn’t wearing a wig.
He sat beside me. We chatted a bit in private. It was clear that he was there for me.
After dinner, he awkwardly asked if anyone wanted to go for a stroll along the water. I knew he just wanted to ask me but was afraid to do it. So of course, everyone wanted to go for a stroll. Hahaha.
But it ended up being just the two of us talking while lagging behind. He asked me intimate things like love, boyfriend. He told me intimate things about himself too, like how his girlfriend broke up with him a year ago because he wasn’t human enough.
We laughed a lot and I was hot for him again. He grabbed my arms at one point and pretended to put me on a segway as we joked about stealing it. I know for sure that my skin is unusually smooth and touching it is a turn-on.
It felt like a date. I wish we’d get some alone time often.
Because Kent was around, we ended up at the Press. I wish we could just keep walking some more. We talked more as Kent was busy talking to Dan. But then Robert showed up. It was fun having him though.
Sam confessed that he gets bored easily, and is narcoleptic where he sometimes falls asleep. It does get annoying though, how he would stop listening to people half way and start checking on his phone or doing other things.
But that night I had his unattention. I can’t believe it was happening. It felt great.
I came home very confused and turned on.
He seems to really like me, but he does not want to spend alone time with me.