I’m back from Disneyland!
Yet, I’m so sad.
Why? I don’t like Afiya. Disneyland was not quite as amazing as I hoped. And Patrick disappointed me.
But life is good in general. I sold many rings while away – over 30 a day! (except for today but I think it’s because of July 4th long weekend). We got to go on lots of fun rides, and Afiya was a good sport in general. I got to eat churros, turkey drumstick, and cotton candy. NAAF was good. My fave part was having a handful of fans actually. Mostly parents of kids with alopecia.
Perhaps I just need to learn to look at things in a more positive way…
Life is pretty good, really!
I’m sad that I lost another friend. Afiya turned out to be not my type of friend. She is not funny. Rather selfish. Uninspiring. Self absorbed. Overly sensitive. And she outright criticized me for arguing with her and self righteous. Well, I am self righteous because I am right. She is dumb and has a brain fog – and self righteous. She has positive traits, but when someone judges me like this, they are out of my life.
Patrick…sigh. He made me extra sad. He msg’d me again, having absolutely no clue as to why I would be pissed. He doesn’t remember telling me that we can meet on the 15th. He doesn’t remember that I was going to Disneyland. It’s like, he has a mental illness or severe ADHD. I told him that I “saw” that we were lovers in a previous life time. I said in this life I don’t want to be his booty call that he forgets to blow off. I said, I wish you well, see you in another life, hopefully in a more sincere and meaningful relationship. He replied to say that it was nothing like that; he has a terrible short term memory and that he needs to start using a notebook. Heh. More like he is the main character of The Notebook – the woman with Alzheimer’s.
I want to tell him that he sucks, but I don’t want to judge him. So, I won’t reply to him. That’s the best I can do for him…and for myself.
How I wish he was a normal human being, who treats me well. He is very broken.
No way am I letting him back into my life. He’ll destroy the little bit of good memories I have left of him.
God knows I have lost the good memories of so many people. Great sex encounters: Josh, Idriss. Friends I have gone on vacations with so far: Cyn, Afiya. Pretty much anyone who I spend more time with, end up in dust. Flames to dust. Loving thoughts to spite. I think of Nelly Furtado’s song, Why do all good things come to an end.
Is there something wrong with me? Or something wrong with the world?
Well, I still have some friends. And, I can make new friends.