I like that Alex and I kissed so many times as he was leaving on Sunday. I love our laughs and sex and pillow talks and alll the kisses. I love the way he puts his body around me when he coached me in biz. Everything is great.
But, something was a little less fun last Sunday, the more I think about it.
He was tired, hung over from Saturday rave. His parking experience was overly long. He was a bit stressed out about coaching me I think.
I was a little stressed too. It was the last day of my period. He was coaching me.
He was wearing his hat most of the time, and in bed he had hat hair. Someone that kinda turned me off. Hats at night seem very pointless.
Everything worked out well still, but I am weary that he just doesn’t have enough energy for our weekly rendezvous. He doesn’t prioritize it enough to save his energy at least…I think. Not that I think it’s super warranted, because, we are not a couple.
Maybe I need to compliment him more to get more. Like compliment his hair. His sex ability. It can help him get more into these things, perhaps.
I told him sex+chats+kisses are da best. He said pillow talks are his favesss. At the time I didn’t think much of it, but now I’m thinking, what about the sex and the kisses?
I also noticed that he doesn’t send me kissy emojis.
Could be just his style. Could be cuz we are not a couple.
I don’t want to overthink it, but I also want to lower my expectations from him. Sigh. I don’t want to. I want to be all in, like a couple.
I didn’t get all horny after Sunday this time. I think my period made me less sensitive vaginally. Sex didn’t feel the same. I barely masturbated the past few days!
But we are still pretty awesome. We msg each other daily so far this week. That’s new. He doesn’t reply right away but he does reply with some care. We kinda secure the Sunday again.
One day one of us is gonna not be able to make it on a Sunday. I wonder what is going to happen then.
I think I just need to chill. No hard feelings, no matter what…
We are not dating…all these pleasures are extra, are bonuses, are…stolen golden moments that we are so lucky to have. I cherish them so much.