I proudly messaged Alex on Monday, the playful “I need every inch of me kissed”, though it was super late, close to midnight.
It’s now just past Tuesday midnight. He read it and did not reply.
I think I’m losing him.
That makes me so sad.
I don’t like that side of him, whatever the reason. Well…I guess there could be a legit reason. It’s been a busy week for all.
I need to not dwell on this.
I thought we had more time.
It was so fun with him…I didn’t think it would end so quickly. I secretly wish to date him. I simply can’t go back to dating Bunny after this…
Bunny is so boring, so negative, and, 100% void of sexual desires.
Well, at least Alex helped me realize what I was missing.
Maybe I need to actively find someone to play with…sigh
Alex was perfect to play with.
I didn’t realize I had so few options.
He is short and Asian, but he is getting matches apparently…
Sigh.
I don’t like this.
Well, I guess I need to distract myself with dancing, work, and friends.
Sex is probably not in the cards for a while.
I’m thankful for the biz success, the wealth, the health. I really am.
Mom and I were discussing how we are so lucky to have health and wealth, and that we need to thank our ancestors.
Bunny, Cyndi, Nicole, Elena – all have health issues. Anna is more ok. Tyler is alright. Maybe Asians fair better?
If Alex can no longer be my fuck buddy…I think I’ll give Bunny another 4 months or so…it’ll be 1 year without sex. I’ll need to start dating others.
It’ll be a long road…maybe.
Think about it. I like younger men. Men my age are not healthy anymore, unless they are Asian. Asian men are less open-minded, so my alopecia might not be ok by them. I like successful people with their shit together. Smart, funny, nice body. Come to think of it, Alex is so rare…
I think, God, all this is in your hands. I will not overthink it. I hope I continue to have this amazing sexlationship with Alex, that we have so much fun together, that we don’t hurt each other. I hope we both find lasting happiness and love, whether we become more together or part ways. I hope Bunny finds health, wealth, and happiness. And love.