One more date fell through today.
That’s ok, I wasn’t feeling it anyway. I wasn’t feeling this whole OKC thing this year. I felt that it wasn’t meant to be.. Even though I did get an email from OKC at random asking me to go back on, I felt un-enthusiastic through-out.
Maybe it’s a combination of me feeling a bit worse about my alopecia after a trip with Afiya.
Maybe I really can’t pull off bald as much as a mohawk.
In any case, I give up. No more dating. I don’t go out of my way to avoid it, but I won’t put in extra effort anymore.
This coming year, it’s about developing skills at a new hobby, growing my biz, making lots of money, and obtaining more amazing, mind-blowing experiences.
Will I sleep with Patrick again? Will I sleep with Matthew again? Will I sleep with another cute boy again? Who knows. Time to just stop thinking about those things.
I can’t hang on to them forever. I’m 35. I’ve peaked.
Now is really the time to consider paying for sex. I wish I was joking, but I’m not.
My sex drive has changed too. I probably care less….and more able to live with not having sex ever again. It’s still fucking awful, but it’s tolerable now.
Look at the spinsters around me. Nicole hasn’t had sex in over 5 years. Cat, over 2. Christy, over 2. Sum finally did after settling for a man not a boy.
I feel sad, but also feel that I need to be zen about it.
Maybe the world will change too. Reverse aging. More open-minded culture about older women. Sex robots.