September 1st. Summer is over. I left OK Cupid.
Over 400 messages sent to me. Over 850 likes. In the past 4 weeks exactly. 28 days. Yet, not 1 date.
I think, I knew this was gonna be the case. Had a bad feeling about going back to OK Cupid.
I think a few things cause this result.
1. I hate lying about my age. But then, posting that I’m 35 probably wouldn’t have improved my luck anyway.
2. I was not in the mood when I wrote my profile. So, it was a very work-oriented, very alopecia-oriented, and almost cocky profile
3. Too many self photos, probably
4. Out of my control: the guys are not up for meeting up. I don’t know why. Different generation? Too scared? Or, just not meant to be.
I feel that maybe if I leave OKC, and at some point go back to it, it’ll be like a reset. I’ll have better luck.
I probably won’t lie about my age. I dunno. Most definitely it will make my chance slimmer though…. I hate aging. I really do.
I’m so lonely, so bored. I have no friends. I have no friends I want to hang out with. And the friends I sort of can hang out with, they don’t have time for me. So really, no one at all. It’s sad.
I messaged Norm yesterday or the day before. He didn’t reply ’til I message him again today. I was quite hurt. Obviously I am low priority. That’s what it’s like when two people are friends. At least, my friends. All my friends are like this. Their partner, their date, their dating-life, are more important than me.
That would be the main reason why I want to have a boyfriend, just so that we can be each other’s priority.
But then, after a while, we’ll be wanting a third wheel to join us, because we are bored of each other. Then, after a while, we are so bored of each other, we no longer make each other priority, and the relationship is over.
It’s so sad. It’s like there’s no way to win. Whether it’s just to have friends, or to date.
I’d love to have a friend, a really good friend, who is single right now, and doesn’t want to have kids, and if/when she becomes not-single, she’ll still be a very good friend who takes me as her priority. And I will treat her the same.
This friend is smart, funny, outgoing. We’ll be there for each other. We’ll see each other once a week or something like that. We’ll be bff’s.
Can be a guy too. Probably a gay guy.