I’ve been missing Patrick, in a way. He never replied to my last message, and, that makes it hard to care much about him. His brought sadness to me in a way.
But deep down I keep thinking that I love him. I keep saying that to myself. I guess when someone good looking accepts you and embraces you for how you look, it means a lot. For that, I still love him. It’s just hard to get over his carelessness.
Funny how, Matthew, who made me sad at one point too – and I even vowed to never let him back into my life – is now the source of my happiness.
In fact, over the past six years, for many a times, it was nice to have him write nice flirty comments on my Facebook. It always cheered me up some.
Since early Aug, He’s been chatting with me. He is still a relationship (I think) and he is so not dateable just anyway, but I really enjoy chatting with him.
He is smart, quick, hilarious, sexy, and ambitious. He is impossibly cute and charming when he is all horny and flirty.
I bet his can charm the pants off any guy or girl. Much like Patrick I guess, but in a different way.
I’m so smitten by him. Even though I don’t love how his FB photo looks, and he is a cheater, and he is not morally aligned with me, and he value system is different, much more materialistic. And he is too Japanese. And I don’t think he can accept my alopecia.
But all that can be forgiven, because we are just chatting anyway.
I’d love to fuck, regularly, with him, but that’s not needed… Knowing me, I’ll fall for him. I’d rather just keep a fun, carefree, hurt free relationship with him.
I have no sex life right now. (Heck, I have no friends either, but that’s another topic.) I created a vision board focusing on just sex, hoping that I can get laid lots by hotties this coming year.
Hot guys seem to have no trouble getting laid. I don’t know why I have so much trouble. I guess i need to be out more. Like when I was in Shanghai.
Other than that though, life is really quite good. Sales are pretty good. $22K USD in revenue each month. Maybe $17K CAD profit each month. That’s $204K per year! It’s only been like this the past 5, 6, months, but I hope to do even better in the rest of the year, since there’s Christmas!
I need to pick myself up and be more productive though. I don’t know why but I waste the day away these days…..