Feeling low

I’d say it’s been a rough time since May 30, when my back had a spasm.

I mean, in the grand scheme of things, I’m very lucky and my woes are top 1% problems, which is even more privileged than the 1st world problems haha

I’d say it took 4.5 weeks to finally be mostly healed. Now at 6 weeks in, I’m about 99% there. Still haven’t gone back to spikeball or volleyball. Maybe next week.

Just as my back was getting better, I got a cold. Pretty sure it was from stress. I was committing to a lot to my Commit Action coach, and fires kept springing up, and sales were dropping on all channels. Was very painful times. I cried on the phone with Nick, my coach.

Now about 10 days into my cold. Last night was coughing so hard I couldn’t sleep, but tonight I’m ok!

Another good thing is that sales are up on Shopify. It seems that hiring the Google ads contractor Daniel is a good idea!

Today is Prime Day, and I sent out launch email for our newest collection, Royal Gardens. We did about $5800 on Amazon, $2236 on Shopify, and $565 on Etsy.

That’s what it feels like to do $3Million a year! If it was like this everyday 🙂


I invited Ty, Wil, Aida, Anna, and Wilson over for dinner last night. I served what Nancy and Mom’s other friends have made.

It was stressful to host a party….haven’t done that in a while. But it went well! It was only so so good time but it was something.


I miss Brian so much.

I know I idealize how great he is, how much he understands me, and how cute he is. I’ve forgotten how he is very cold, non-responsive, and that it took years to finally find him attractive.

But there’s no one else.

I wish there was.

I know that Brian won’t ever message me again. And that makes me sad when I think about it.

I got a few likes on Hinge. 2 of them were cute. One is in an open relationship. The other, well, I think he had some potential but he didn’t say much on his profile. Maybe I should’ve replied to him. He was 6’4 and Christian and didn’t specify his profession though.

What I want is someone from ECF, is decently rich ($1M+ in net worth), is funny and finds me funny, is somewhat cute, has good EQ, reasonably social, adores me, likes touching me, we have great sexual chemistry and conversational chemistry, has a positive outlook on life, is monogamous, and that we bring out great qualities in each other.

Remember, I can manifest!

I must keep trying.

I’m starting to think that I’m happier single though. I’d love to have some sexy flings with passerbys. The idea of being with someone for years is very daunting. I look back on the relationships I’ve had. I don’t like any of them. Flings were fun though.