I feel so lonely lately.
Matthew wanting me made me want him more, even though it’s not even sincere because he just wants to have sex and for just December.
My mind seems to not realize that it’s not sincere. I just want him so bad.
It’s not just the physical though. I want a guy so bad. I want someone to talk with. I want someone to love and be loved.
I want to cry at any given moment, because I’m so stressed and lonely.
Why do I suddenly feel this way?
I guess I’ve been wanting a guy for some time now, but just nothing. No one comes along.
Lately the need became stronger…it’s suffocating.
I wonder if it’s because of stress, or because I’ve been pushed to the very edge of lonesome…or because business is growing (the goal of having a successful business is reached and now new goal shifted to having someone to love). Or maybe because I can finally proudly date someone now without feeling embarrassed.
I certainly wouldn’t have even considered dating Matthew when I wasn’t making money. He is such a snob about that.