I think I need a boyfriend and/or a best friend. Ideally, a best friend who is also my boyfriend.
I also need better friends. By cultivating my existing friendship and by doing more activities to get me more new friends.
I think I need to make these new changes:
1. Maintain existing friendship: Be mindful about asking friends out regularly.
– Masha, Vanthony, Mike, Brodie, Norm, Nicole
– New: Darlene, Karolina and Victor, Aileen and David(?), maybe Janice, and Stacy.
– Once in a while: Summer, Cat, Anna and Wilson, Annie, Jing, Erica
– Long distance: Cousins, Moj and Paul, Courtney and Paul, Victoria and Yishan in Shanghai, Nick and Auburn, Lamont, Annie in Australia.
2. Make new friends in niche settings
– Joined geek girl meet up
– Maybe ASMers will be good friends too. Can visit Clement and Evan in Toronto!
3. I have to force myself to do this, but I will act as a good friend and wish Cyndi well. I will try to not hop on the phone with her. She’ll be too busy to want to call me for the next while anyway. The fact is, I’m gonna say no to a friend who “hangs out” with me while cleaning her house, talks to me on the phone while walking to a date starting in 10 minutes.
I know she had been a good friend in the past several times. But it’s hard to bring those to mind right now. I just don’t want to. I just don’t feel that she deserves anything good. I feel that she is not the best person. I’m disgusted by some of her negative characteristics.
I looked around and realized that most of my friends are in relationships. It’s the expected path. Be single in your late teens to early 20s. Be taken in your late 20s to…30s and maybe 40s. I feel so out of sync with the world.
Is there a guy for me? I want someone, I think . I believe in soul mates, I think.