I don’t know what is wrong with me. I have no drive today.
2 days ago I went to see The Hobbit with Norm. Found out that Norm had cheated on his ex-girlfriend for no good reason. On the way home some guy asked to borrow $15 for gas. I didn’t want to because I didn’t really trust him, but in the case that he might be honest, I didn’t want him to be stranded. So I lent it to him. It’s money that I can spare, but I was really hoping that he’d be honest. Yesterday, I texted him twice and I didn’t hear back from him. I guess he was lying. I’m so sick of these ugly people of the world.
I dunno if it’s these disappointments in humanity that killed my drive, or the fact that I’m not making money and it makes each day so unfulfilling. I know for sure that if I make thousands of dollars a day, like Matt Clark, plus that everything I touch turns to gold, plus so many people are grateful of my work and me being who I am – I’d wake up to each day with joy and enthusiasm.
I guess I’m working towards that. I wish that day comes soon. It seems to happen so fast for Matt. I really wish I were him.
He had a job for 7 months. Quit. He then started on Amazon, and that started doing well in less than a year I believe. So basically anything he does happens in less than a year or two. Knot Theory has been dragging along for almost 5 years now. I’m so old and so tired. I don’t know how to go on. I wish there’s something or someone to pull me out of this slump – both in how I feel and my financial state.