I know I know, it’s inevitable. He is so cute. So sexy.
I keep his business card in my wallet. I was going to add him on WeChat during my China trip, but forgot to. Facebook was working during the times I needed to talk to him.
The day before, I finally remembered to add him on WeChat, and saw that he had tried to add me twice, in 2014! I guess it doesn’t mean that much, but still very cute.
We chatted a little bit. I installed a Kamasutra app and showed him the positions that looked interesting. He responded in a cute way as usual.
When we said good night, he sent a string of emoticons of drooling heart-eyed, smiling, and smooching faces. I was so happy to see that. It’s not much….I guess my expectations are low….but still, I like that he did that. I think he basically types what he feels, so that reflects how he feels.
I fantasize about him all day while at IMAX today with Mom. He turns me on so much. When I fantasize, I often imagine a conversation…I’m so weird.
I need to remember that, my ideal guy has two musts:
- Loves me even more with my alopecia
- Is sincere in how he loves me. i.e. Monogamous
Matthew has so many great qualities, but he doesn’t have these two.
It’s ok. I’ll just enjoy what we have for right now. In a few months, the passion will likely fizzle out anyway. I can’t imagine it right now, but it seems inevitable. Part of me wishes that we are special. The 7-year love affair means something. But I know that’s unlikely. I don’t want to get my hopes up. I don’t want to get too attached.
Imagine us being at that point…..one starts to lose interest, the other reciprocates, and before you know it, we stop talking. I sort of can see that he would be the one doing it, either because he found another fb, or he got tired of this, and I would notice it and end it. Then later on, he’ll try to come back to me, but I would say no. No for good. I think that’s likely how it’ll play out. So sad already… The only way to not be sad is to have a boyfriend by then.
Right now, I’m trying to figure out what makes him tick:
- I think having a sexy booty is number one for visual attraction.
- Changing things up is probably another top one.
- Praising/complimenting him. Words are important for Gemini’s.
- Allowing him to be that guy that I want – inspiring etc. Things I said I look for in a boyfriend. I want to slip my #1 in, but really, no point. I’ll just say, being kind and sincere. At least he’ll let me down gently when he exits my life.
- Allowing him to feel that he is protecting me. I think I’ll try cuddling with him that way.
- Be turned on by him. Make him feel desired.
- Make him feel needed. Maybe just by saying it.
- Do funny things. Like planting a Pusheenicorn on his keychain
If he is nice to me and attracted to me, I won’t ever get tired of him. So really it seems like it’s more likely that he’ll be the one ending it after a while.
The only scenario I can think of where I would end it first, is if I find someone that I want to be in a relationship with. Fat chance of that happening haha.
He really has a lot going on about him that makes him irresistible to me. He even loves cute animals, which is important to me because I want to travel to a giraffe manor with my boyfriend.
I wonder how many guys have these traits. I just want a boyfriend like him, but has those two must-have qualities: loves me even more with my alopecia, and won’t cheat on me.