Just got back from Barcelona yesterday, July 12th. Matthew liked my posts but I didn’t chat with him because I have pityriasis rosea…I’m covered in pink dots. Also, got my period.
Today he messaged me. Obviously he was wondering why I haven’t initiated meeting up for sex. He didn’t ask that though. It seemed hard for him to ask.
I told him about my condition. I said it was ironic that I kissed his scar and he said I would grow spots, and I said I was immune. Here I am, not immune. (It seems like my body is pranking me.)
We ended up chatting quite a lot today. I liked it. He is so cute. I’ve never seen him so talkative before. That’s a good sign I think.
Makes me horny…
I hope I heal soon. I want to see him.
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He joked about how I use him for his balls. I took the opportunity to tell him that I like that he is also smart and funny and that it turns me on. He said he used to not care about smarts but now he is not attracted to pretty but dumb girls at all. Then later that day he said a bunch of things that seemed like he was trying to show that he is smart. Haha
Today (the next day) is spent being a bit miserable. My pityriasis is a bit better (I check every few hours like it’s gonna look different), but I feel kinda awful. Not sure why. I spent a lot of time lying down and day dreaming about Matthew. I’m infatuated.
Then it made me sad that we can’t be together. I try to make it clear to myself that, this is the best form of our relationship. It’s a fact. Not a lie I tell myself to make me feel better. It’s the truth. This is the best. We flirt, we respect each other, we have amazing sex. Any closer we get, we won’t be the same.
But I miss him. I want him. I want to spend all day, all week with him. I wish we could go on a vacation and just have tons of fun and tons of sex.