Author: spacebunny@gmail.com

Dear Norm,

I’m glad we are still friends. Though we can never be lovers again. I like that you are smart, always wanting to help, patient with me, and were kind to me. I like how blue your eyes are too. I love that you never judged my baldness.

It seems that you prefer hair, but I bet I can still attract you if I put effort into it. But I wouldn’t want to do it. I need my love to love how I look without hair. I need my love to be ok with “different”, “standing out”. You prefer fitting in and being “normal”.

You also like routine, and status quo. Working 9 to 5, buying a condo like everyone else. Thinking so much about what other ppl think. I didn’t like how mundane life was with you, and self conscious.

And of course there’s the depression, and low self esteem. It’s hard to make you see the bright side of things. Except, when you are comforting me. You seem more capable of it then.

And there’s the boringness. I enjoy talking to you because you are smart, and creative in your own way. I think you are not funny only because you are too afraid of what other people think.

Tanya

—

Dear Tanya,

I wish you all the best in your dating life. You know I’ll be happy for you when you’ve found the one.

I think you are a sincere, adventurous, and ambitious person, but maybe you are too short tempered and too wild.

Sometimes I admire that you do the crazy things you do. It’s not for me, but someone out there will think it’s cool.

Norm

—

Dear Nicolas,

Well, I don’t think about you at all, but I’ll write this as a pure exercise.

I don’t like that you say mean words when you are angry. Or that you cry more than I do when you upset me. You get way too emotional. I don’t like that you are very old fashioned in your thinking. e.g. You think all Asians have the bad reputation of being poor. It’s because you are from France.

I think you had issues with my hair. Then again, so did I back then. But you weren’t able to inspire me by embracing my alopecia. Truth is, I didn’t like how you looked either. I think I was brought into your life to help you, because of a previous life’s debt. You were not that attractive by any means.

I didn’t like that I had to help you with everything. Every email, every idea, even financially. I can’t believe that you weren’t grateful of my mom giving you $1K to go to France. That was unthinkable. I’d never want someone who can even think those thoughts.

I like that you were romantic and sweet in the beginning though. You were the only person to try to date me, aside from Idriss.

Tanya

—

Dear Tanya,

I think you were amazing, and I looked up to you in many ways.

Thank your for all you and your mom’s help in my life. I was too hurt to see it.

I was a bit shocked to see your alopecia back then, but now I see photos of you I think you are hot. I think you’ve turned it into something sexy.

I’ve learned some things from you, and my biz is still using the names you came up with. I’m grateful. I know I’m selfish sometimes, but I also really loved you back then. Remember when I played that love song to you. You were really cold and didn’t love me back. The day you broke up with me, you dropped me like I was nothing to you.

I know that you’ll do well in this life. You deserve a much more capable person than me. I’m more like the type that just wants a housewife and a family who can give me lots of warmth that I need. You are smart and capable, but a bit too cold.

Nicolas

—

Dear Jeff,

We never met, but I felt like we’ve dated.

It’s strange writing this now, because I’ve been trying to not think about you at all, nor what we could’ve been, nor what really happened. I’m just writing because the soul mate finding book wants me to write this letter to you.

Well, I think your passion, candidness, and so many other amazing traits, made me fall in love with you.

I have to try really really hard to remind myself that, you did some things that proved you will never be the one for me, that we will never be a couple.

I need someone who has the patience to guide me when I’m blunt and say the wrong things. Who is logical and calm enough to read what I write, and understand what I mean, or at least try to understand and try to get clarification.

I need someone who wants to grow together, whose passion and love is consistent, who is a good listener and supporter, who is positive, who is not so extreme.

Tanya

—

Dear Tanya,

I have mental illness. I get really happy and passionate, but I also get really depressed and lack all desires.

I’m sensitive. And my self esteem is wobbly. You hurt me a couple times. You are too blunt, and you have a tendency to blame and to guilt. I eventually lost all desire to meet. I just didn’t think it’s going to work.

I think you are amazing too. So smart, so sexy, so beautiful you are. I really wanted to marry you. You are so cool in so many ways.

I wish I had more calm and patience in me. I wish my mood was more stable. Maybe in the future there will be drugs or implants that can help.

I don’t dare to think about how we could be. I need to save myself first.

You deserve an amazing guy who treats you well. I hope you find your soul mate!

xoxo

Jeff Bunny

Started day at 9a

9 to 10 Did Day 2 of 21 Day Fix, showered

10 to 10:30 Banana, salad, avocado, olive oil, chicken and mushroom Mom made, mango and pineapple (thawed)

10:30 to 10:40 AmzTracker Kedge giveaway 15 (day 2) Yesterday gave away 20

Gratitude:

1. I’m grateful for Ying! She gave me 21 day fix, and inspiration to do better at ASM! She is a friend.
2. I’m grateful for Stan and Lana! They inspire me to do better at ASM too, and they are my friends.
3. I’m grateful for Vancouver! Today is a sunny day. The air quality is great here. Life quality is great. There is so much nature here!

Everything in this box is:

1. My biz generates $3MM in revenue and $1MM in profit – Yes, working towards it! I’m reading Think and Grow Rich, I have Business Mastery experience to help me, and I have tools such as Extractafy and VideoBlock to help me, and I have friends such as Ying and Stan and Lana to help me!
2. I have more strengths, stamina, and toned body – Yes, I’m working towards it! Day 2 of 21 Day Fix! Body looks good today too.
3. I attract my soulmate and we live happily ever after – Yes, working towards it! I bought Soulmate book by Arielle Ford, and have 2 meditation that will set me on the right path to attracting my love. Tony Robbins also taught me to not focus on loss, less, and never. I choose to be happy, and my decisions shape me life.

10:45 to 11:30 Plan for the day (Distraction from Irene accountant – replied!)

Big Picture on how to grow my biz to reach $3MM:

1. Maintain sales and rank on Amazon and Etsy
   1. PPC ads
   2. Better listing search terms on Amazon
   3. Price split testing
   4. Enhanced listing, perhaps
2. Scale up sales on website
   1. FB Ads
   2. SEO
   3. Improve conversion rate – improve end to end customer experience
3. Add more profitable products on Amazon
   1. Sourcing agent
   2. Decide on market
   3. Create brand

Agenda for Today

1. Work from 11 to 7, take a 2 hour break (work 6 hours)
2. Create PPC ads based on Merchant Words – 1 hr
3. 12:00~2:00 Create PPC ads based on Keyword inspector – 2 hr (generated the csv, took half hour break 2~2:30pm)
4. Extraced keywords from each file, removed duplicates – 1.5 hr (2:30 to 4, half hour break ’til 4:30)
5. Research what Willow’s and Everette, and other big sellers are doing. Amazon Exclusive – who are more likely to get – 2 hr (did a bit)
6. Find and contact sourcing agents – 0.5 hr (did a bit)
7. Go through emails – 0.5 hour (yes)

6 hours of work…see if can get everything done!

Day’s Summary:

Dad called at 5:30, talked ’til 7pm. Mom called at 9pm, talked ’til 10:30pm.

Keywords took way long than I expected to process….and it’s still not done!

I will finish them today (the next day). Most of the keywords are not relevant…I wonder if they will even help.

I think I need to refine them some more, and make sure each child has search terms.

Tomorrow:

1. Create a basic ring video ad for FB, basing on Buzzfeed
2. Print out my list of to dos from journal entry (vivid vision)

This week:

1. Add a set of FB video ads to focus on anniversary ppl only
2. More on CashCowPro for price split testing – once confirmed that more rings are coming
3. Invest for dividend income
4. (Weekend) Listen to FFL speeches – Is it good to listen to it during weekend to get motivated for the week?

I finally received my hard copy of Think and Grow Rich! I was so excited and wanted to get started on setting my goals.

I’ve had my goals set on health, wealth, and love, and I recite them often. But I was banking on Think and Grow Rich to really produce results.

But as I started working on writing down my goals the way the book suggested, something didn’t feel right.

I felt that I wanted LOVE more than anything right now. I couldn’t bring myself to have enough drive for money or abs, while love is not in place.

I tried to set goals for love, but that doesn’t feel right either. How can I have a deadline for finding my soulmate?

I did some research and found some books and guided meditation videos. This is what I’m going to do now! This feels right!

I’m excited 🙂

I will keep working on my goal of making $3MM in my biz. But it feels soooo much better and so right to have this love goal in place and to work towards it!

I feel that I need to clear this up.

A long long time ago, a fortune teller told Mom that I would make money and would give her some money. But, only if I’m single. If I have a boyfriend, I’d give some money to him, because I believe in whatever business he is into and want to help him.

That scared me. I wanted to be able to give some money to Mom, and I didn’t want to be in a relationship where I have to sink money in.

I feel that it’s been a mental block for me. It made me not want to get a boyfriend.

The truths are:

1. I have given Mom some money already.
2. Fortunetellers are wrong sometimes. Most likely I won’t need to sink money in like that. I’m careful with that. We can borrow money instead, on behalf of his company, instead of lending him money from personal account. Besides, I’ve already give some money to Mom.
3. It’s stupid to let what a fortuneteller says hinder what I do.
4. Love is what life is about. I want to find love.

So from now on, I will not let this ridiculous limiting belief limit me.

 

Started day at 8:30a

8:30 to 9:30 Did Day 1 of 21 Day Fix, showered

9:30 to 10:00 Banana and Vega smoothie for breakfast. Brushed teeth.

10:00 to 10:10:15

Gratitude:

1. I’m grateful for Mom! She’s been so supportive, open-minded, easy to talk to, and available.
2. I’m grateful for Dad! He is interesting to talk to, and reminds me that I am smart because I’m like him, and is quite open-minded about me too.
3. I’m grateful for this place on 2138 Madison Ave! It’s a convenient location to Costco, Save-on, post office, the rent is cheap at $600, and I get so much space! I love the energy about this place. I feel that Guan-Yin is here with me.

Everything in this box is:

1. My biz genereages $3MM in revenue and $1MM in profit
2. I have abs
3. I meet my dream husband this year and we live happily ever after

Plan for the day: (10:15 to 10:30)

1. Work from 10:30 to 7, take a 2 hour break (work 6.5 hours)
2. 11am Call with Lindsay – up to 1 hour
3. Learn and Set up CashCowPro for price split testing – 3 hours
4. Add a set of FB video ads to focus on anniversary ppl only – 1 hour
5. Before 3pm – Costco – fruits, veggies, maybe vega breakfast
6. Before 4pm – Drop off KazaWest form and void cheque
7. Go through emails – 1 hour
8. Prepare ring mailing from Point Roberts to Amazon USA – 1 hour
9. Before 5pm – Prepare ring mailing to Amazon CA – ship today if possible – 1 hour

7 hours of work…see if can get everything done!

Tomorrow:

1. Point Roberts (rings, pick ups)

Next week:

1. Invest for dividend income

Still cried 2 or 3 times today.

I think about how I hate chatting with these new people. They are all unattractive and boring. So boring.

I knelt down in front of GuanYin, begging that I have Jeff back. I wish I could help fix him. Whatever is wrong with him. If he will just come back to me. If he’ll just call me. Gosh, is it so hard?

Strangely, yesterday when I reinstalled Tinder, Bumble, and Coffee Meets Bagel, I came across at least a dozen Jeffs. I had no idea there are so many! Today, not as many. It really was mostly from yesterday….when I had him more on my mind.

I had this feeling that I’d go on a date with Jeff on Valentine’s Day. Last week I couldn’t figure out just why we’d have to delay it until then. laster on I couldn’t figure out just how we can still have a date after what happened. Today, I chatted with a guy named Jeffrey. Him and I are going on a date on V Day. That’s how.

That’s not how I wanted. But, oh well.

I thought about so many scenarios where we could’ve met. I desperately wish that we could. I want to turn back time so we could, in any of these scenarios, meet.

But then I thought about how he has a strange temper. We would’ve met up, dated a couple times, and something will sure erupt. That would’ve hurt even more!

So, maybe this is better.

Sigh.

I checked out Aries 2017 horoscope. Last year’s was pretty accurate. Lots of travels. Good luck on hiring. Not much on love. It was what I wanted.

This year, it’s as what I hoped for too. Supposedly lots of love opportunities, especially in January (sigh) and April and August. I’m hopeful once again 🙂

It also says that I’ll be able to find good helpers / partners. Even marriage partners. I’ll be looking forward to that too!

http://meow4134.pixnet.net/blog/post/338634779

It says this year paves way for an amazing financial year next year. I can’t wait for what’s to come this year and next year!!

I’m grateful for this book Ask and It is Given that Cat lent me. It’s helping me feel better during this time.

I’m grateful for Mom. She has been so supportive. As always. She is my angel. I’m grateful that we got closer during this experience.

I’m grateful for my friends. Cyndi was good to me. Norm was good to me. They are supportive of me during this. Even Bec, Jennifer Liu, etc.

I’m grateful that I was able to attract someone very close to what I desire. Very close. It shows that manifestation is working better and better, more and more specific. Now I just need to add more details.

I’m grateful that this experience allowed me to see how important patience is in my dream husband. How important it is that he must be thoughtful, not give up on me, good at communications, and mentally stable, and emotionally mature.

I’m grateful that Jeff was sent to me so I can know these things. I’m grateful that we did have some good times. When we return to the source, we can laugh about it.

I’m grateful that my business seems to be doing fine again. I’m grateful that I have the equipment to film videos. I’m grateful for the FB course.

I’m grateful that I have this almost brand new laptop with a perfect screen and great battery! I’m grateful that I have a desktop to help with my neck.

I’m grateful that I get to live here. With all the space! And cheap rent. And everything can be accessed within walking distance.

I’m grateful to have a trampoline! And a great soundtrack to bounce to, thanks to BMFlorida!

I’m grateful that I have my health. I’m grateful that I have learned to take the high road twice now with guys.

I’m grateful that I can start fresh now, with new guys! An upgrade!

I’m so in love. His gorgeous, loving, and everything I want and more.

I love his eyes, his cute nose, his infectious smile, his sexy voice, the way he moves, his cheekbones, his jaw, his hair, his shoulders, his super hot body, his height. I love everything about him physically.

I love his personality and sense of humour! He is super funny and quirky. He is light-hearted and fun. He is patient, caring, loving, and mentally healthy. He gets enthusiastic and passionate about things, but he doesn’t get really upset or unreasonable. We almost never fought. If there is a conflict, we both work to work it out!

He is so smart! I am such a fan of him. He is capable. He is intelligent. He is wise. He is thoughtful too, and has common sense.

I love how he loves me. He is generous, kind, passionate, and romantic. I love the flowers and the massages from him! Love how he spoils me and surprises me.

He loves how I look without hair. He adores me.

We make love often, and it’s the most amazing experience! We are so majorly attracted to each other. We have such a deep bond, and we have the perfect sexual chemistry. Sex is so amazing it blows our minds. We love pleasing each other. We love the same things, and we want to try new things together.

We are so compatible. We love doing the same things for fun. We share the same interest for science, sci-fi, tech, animals, personal development, and are adding more.

We also teach each other new things, expanding our horizons. We are always amazed with each other, and becoming bigger fans for each other each day.

We have that synergy that allows us to be amazing in business together too. We amp up each other’s businesses, and we start to create successful businesses together.

We go on adventures, we explore the world together. We laugh so much, ponder on things spiritual and practical, and are in PEAK STATE often. Being with each other gives us a high.

We are loyal to each other, of course. There’s no one else better than each other.

We are so in love. We can’t imagine being with anyone else. We are so grateful for each other, and for the Universe for bringing us together. We are so happy together. We love each other so deeply.

Our friends and family are happy for us too. We are a stunning couple and we have the most stunning and memorable wedding.

We live happily ever after! <3 <3

Ok! New Beginning 🙂

I woke up today and felt better.

I sent Jeff the letter last night at 11:30pm. He saw it right away.

I don’t know if he read it. It was very long.

I didn’t expect him to reply. But I did my best, so I’m happy. No regrets.

He didn’t reply.

Cat called today. She just had her surgery. First thing she asked though, was, How was your date?

Well, didn’t happen. I almost cried as I described it. But I didn’t really cry.

I mean, he really wasn’t very good towards the end, was he? And he didn’t try to remedy it.

Cat thinks he’s started to see someone else. That didn’t make me feel very good. But, I don’t blame him if he has. After all, I made out with someone else!

But, now I think about it, I send the letter. It praised him. If this doesn’t change his mind, then he is not good enough for me. Worse yet, there’s something wrong with him.

Ok 3:20pm on a Saturday. He just called me. My skin was burning from nervousness. But, turned out he pocket-dialed me. WTF!

I guess that means he was thinking of calling me, at least.

Because you don’t pocket-dial someone unless they are on your phone’s main screen. Unless it was just call history.

In any case, it’s time to move on!

I deleted him from Whatsapp. I archived my FB msg to him. After V Day, I’ll delete him from my phone, and unfriend him on FB. I could do that today, but, a little voice tells me that our first date would be on Valentine’s Day coming up.

I have a sliver of hope, to be perfectly honest. But, It’s 0.00001%.

I think he’s moved on, and so should I.

Just unfriended him on FB, removed all photos of him from my phone. He is not a match for me.

I still kept his phone number, just so that I know it is him, if he replies to my text.

---

New Beginning!!

I created the box. Everything in this box IS!

I put in it:

I meet my Dream Husband in 2017

I live happily ever after with my Dream Husband

I have abs

My biz makes $3MM USD in sales, $1MM USD in profit in 2017

I seem to really want a husband now, hey?!

That means I will get one 🙂

I want to attract an amazing guy into my life. One that I love and loves me. One that makes my life happier and vice versa. We are a movement when we are together.

Dear Jeff Bunny,

I want to say that, you are an amazing person, one in a million. I’ve been crazy about you for so long. I love everything about you. You are smart, funny, quirky, passionate, sexy, ambitious, and I could go on…When you said you got me a book, I just melted. You are what I wanted and more.

I don’t know if that day when I said I wasn’t feeling it, that changed everything for us. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.

When I looked back to try to understand why I said that, it’s because of how some of my friends made me feel real shitty that day. I gushed about you too much I think.

But maybe you gave up on me for reasons I wasn’t aware of.

I used to think I’d have to be perfect to find the perfect guy to be in a perfect relationship. But the real magic happens when two people grow and bond together. No one is perfect. Perfection is stagnant. The willingness to talk, listen, and understand each other better, is what makes a loving relationship grow deeper.

That’s why I wanted a guy with a growth mindset. When you said you’d hired a life coach, I thought, How did I get so lucky to attract you into my life?

I didn’t understand why you stood me up by default, and why you shut me out without giving us a chance to talk on the phone that day.

I’m not one to give up so easily. But I guess you’ve given up. I get the hint now.

Gosh, we could’ve been an amazing couple. Laugh together, go on adventures together, share what we know with each other, have real amazing sex, and truly, madly, deeply love each other. We could’ve been invincible.

And the gifts! I have no idea who else wants the custom made Prince and George Michael coasters. I also happened to have found the cutest card one day with two bunnies that are meant to be. I thought it was a sign that we are too.

I’ll remember the good memories we had and try to let go of the bad. And I wish you all the best in getting what you seek.

I just wanted to let you know how much I adored you, in case I didn’t express it clearly. Life is too short to regret for things we didn’t say.

It’s almost V Day. Happy Valentine’s Day, Bunny.

Tanya