Hung out with Claudia yesterday. She is 60-ish, Mom’s age. But there’s no age gap with her. She was single and living in Manhattan for a while. She didn’t get married until 58 yo.
She seems to regret getting married though, it seems. Her hubby Chip is not like her. If she has more money, I think she would want to be single again.
We had fun. Dim sum at Chef Tony’s, Taiwanese shaved ice at Leisure. Then went to Minoru park. Lots of cute teenager goslings there! We also went to Fabricana after. But there’s nothing there for either of us.
What would I want my life to be like when I’m old? It’s hard to say what one would feel like doing at each age range. I remember in my 20s worrying where we’d go clubbing when we are old. Then, I realized we stop feeling like clubbing around 32. I think if I have money and friends and health and looks, and LOVE from my hubby, all is well 🙂
I’ve been thinking about friends.
Of all my friends, Cyndi is the most fun. She is funny, and kind, and interesting. She is always seeking fun things to do.
On the other hand, what makes her fun – a perpetual need to seek out more fun externally – is also what makes her hard to be friends with. It’s like, hanging out one friend at a time is not enough. It’s a waste of her time. She needs to invite more friends, or be cleaning.
We rarely have in-depth conversations really. And when we do, I feel like, she holds back some stuff. Or she’ll pretend that it’s helpful.
I guess there are exceptions. We’ve done a few things one on one since she got back. Like the V-Day Prom, or that Equinox day pass. She also talked to me about her and Ty.
Maybe I’m holding a grudge. All the times she invited me and not telling me that she invited other people. I show up and there are other lame people there. Or when I get to her place and she starts cleaning.
But even if I forgive all that, we can’t be besties. She already has Ty, and Corrina.
I want a bestie that I don’t have to share! Or feel secondary to.
Like, my bestie can have a boyfriend, sure, but we can hang out all day too, and talk about all kinds of stuff. We’ll feel like we really like each other, instead of feeling like we are taking up each other’s time.
I mean, she lived in NYC for 2, 3 years and I didn’t go see her. But then again, I know that if I do, she wouldn’t spend all her time with me (outside of working). Because that’s just how she is. She’d have to hang out with other friends. You’d be on your own, exploring the city.
That’s our difference.
I’m dedicated. She is not.
Also, I was afraid that we might fight in NYC if we are alone.
Right now, the only way for us to improve is to come clean of our fears and needs. But, I don’t know if we need to or want to.
I want to just find a real bestie. One who will give me undivided attention if I visit her.
I like Julianna, but she seems not so funny.
Who are funny friends in my life? Sigh. Not many. No one stands out.
I need to be funnier, and attract funny friends!