I’ve been wondering about what truly matters in my life.
This whole thing feels like such an illusion. A delusion.
Is love really important? What is love?
I went through university trying to get good grades. I would prep for an exam in a way that guarantees a certain amount of success, instead of going for full understanding. Because there was no time. Because I was stressed.
I’d memorize formulas instead of truly understanding them. I’d memorize approaches to certain types of problems, instead of truly understanding them. It was one of the many regrets I have about university. I opted to get decent grades over true understanding.
What would it take to get true understanding? Am I smart enough for it?
I was sick at the time. Nerve problems. Another regret.
Let’s say, I spent time to understand those courses…what would’ve been different?
I guess nothing.
Moments of clarity. Worse grades. Maybe feeling better about understanding something. Maybe feeling worse about worse grades.
In the end, I guess nothing was impacted.
I wish I did take school more seriously and I wish I wasn’t sick though. Maybe I would’ve been a better programmer.
But then, that didn’t matter either.
So, what matters now?
I feel a need to make more money. But why?
It’s almost the same need as that need to get good grades.
My biggest fear is to be old and without money and as a result not having a way to live life (or end life) on my terms. For example, if I’m in pain and wanted euthanasia, but can’t afford to set it up. (So, I should set it up now.) Or, if I’m healthy, but have no money to eat good food and live in a nice place.
Life is so strange. We don’t know how long we’d live. We don’t know how healthy we’d be. We don’t know these things about our parents either.
Ideally, Mom and Dad live amazing high quality lives and die a painless death. That’s best case scenario. Worse case, they have diseases that drag on and drain all our funds.
How do other people handle this? I should find out. Maybe life insurance?
Let’s say, the above are sorted out. Now, can I live my life care-free?
My net-worth does not allow me that. I need to keep making money.
When I have a house (condo), $4MM in the bank that generate $120K passive income per year, I am probably ok.
Even no condo and $2MM should be ok. Mom has a house.
I have $1MM save up. Almost.
I’m 37.
I make $300K/year. If I can keep it up for 3 years, I’m ok.
If I can make $1MM/year for 2, 3 more years. I have $4MM
If I can buy a condo somewhere in the mean time, that’s great. That’s maybe $1MM down payment plus $1MM over time.
I’ll be ok. Breathe. I’m ok.
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Ok, so now that’s somewhat figured out, how hard should I work? Or can I play too?
Let’s say my prime is ’til 50. I have 13 years to make more money. Or maybe it’s 45, then it’s 8 years.
After that, I may or may not make more. New tech. New generation. China. I may not be relevant.
Hence it’s a good idea to work hard and make money now. As much money as I can.
My goal should be, $4MM in bank. $4MM on property investments (2 to 3 condos).
Ok, so I do have to work hard and hustle.
But, if I only make $1MM in the next 13 years….which is $77K/year for 13 years, that’s still very good, and better than most people. If other people can live off that, so can I. Plus, I can live in the tropics such as Thailand.