Alex and I celebrated our 3 month anniversary. It feels like we’ve been together for much longer than that! In reality we haven’t even been togethr for 2 months, because I was in Taiwan for 3 weeks. And we missed 1 week when we nearly broke up.
It’s kind of been bitter sweet.
Really, if he has a career, and has good income and good savings, this relationship is good and we could’ve avoided a lot of struggles.
But I know that I’ve said in the past, I just want someone who loves me. And loyalty is the most important thing. And the guy doesn’t have to be perfect. Also, he has everything I asked for on my wish list.
He has blue eyes, nice body, tall, our sex life is pretty good (though right now he is stressed), looks young for his age, pretty smart, pretty funny, is 5 languages of love, has common sense, and is considerate.
Is he good for me though? Do I like who I am when I’m with him? I think these are very important questions.
As much as I like his place, and how it’d solve his problem of having bad roommates, and how I’d get to be downtown, and how we’d see each other more often…I’m very unsure about moving in with him.
He was super stressed and not horny yesterday, because of his roommate issue. He gave him the notice yesterday, and almst forgot that it was our anniversary. I felt that he can’t seem to handle issues or stress very well. That is a problem.
At the same time he was very sweet, attentive, holding the umbrella for me, was gonna take me to Season’s in the Park, the most romantic restaurant in the city! We went to Stanely Park to see some Xmas lights. It was lame. I suggested we go to Van du Sen Gardens to see more lights. It was much more beautiful there.
We had a romantic walk amongs the beautiful lights. All is well. He seemed tired so we decided to go to a Starbucks nearby, and to go to Sandbar for a romantic dinner.
At Starbucks, we were playing a game of staring. I asked that we play a game where we start out smiling. He didn’t want to do that. He just wouldn’t smile. Then I got pissed. I held down my anger though. We drove to Granville Island in silence. After I parked, he asked, Are you sure you want to date me? We talked it through, and was ok. But, I didn’t like that he was so unwilling to cooperate, and so willing to give up. Sigh. But at least we didn’t let it ruin the night. We made out some in the car, then walked to the restaurant.
We were lucky again in getting a very nice spot by the fireplace at Sandbar. Last month before going to Taiwan and China, we got a sweet spot in a restaurant in North Van too. The mood was amazing, with the fireplace, live piano music and great singing by the panist! We were sweet to each other. He was smiling. I think he was making an effort.
We discovered the day before that the psychotic woman he dated was Agnus, the girl that Jeffrey dated before me! I want to beat her up for hurting Alex and Jeffrey! So we talked about her yesterday. We talked about Alex’s Japanese girl friend after her too. It was weird talking about ex’s so much yesterday.
We came home. I was horny because it’s been 2 weeks since I saw him and 3 weeks since we had proper sex. Sex was pretty good. I think I came 3 or 4 times. He didn’t come. He wasn’t horny. But he did try his best at pleasing me.
Sleep was fine. He was so tired. I didn’t toss and turn and wake him up this time.
Ths morning was good too. We photographed his hands. He helped me with the lighting too. He was very good. And he showed me his bike tutor videos. I had more respect for him because bikes are more complex than I realized. And also, he looked so cute in the video!
My main conerns for this relationship:
1. I feel that I want him to have certain things that he does not have. Money. As in, good income and savings.
2. He gets stressed easily. Doesn’t seem to be very good at handling a stressful situation.
3. We probably can’t be a power couple. He is too gentle and not ambitious.
4. 5 years from now, will he have made the money? If so, what would our life be like?
5. Is he fun?
6. Can we travel together?
7. 20 years from now, will he have made the money? If not, will I have to pay for everything? Like Mia does.
8. Do I want to be more like him in any way? Because we’ll become more and more like each other.
Because he is so stressed right now, we are not having a ton of fun.
Because he is so poor right now, we are not having a lot of fun.
And he is stressed because he made some bad decisions and remains poor.
And he is not very good at managing his stress, thus making some bad decisions.
I almost wonder if he is unsuccessful because he’s not very good at managing stress.
But he does have potential. He’s made two successful websites. Made lots of videos.
If I believe in him, it’ll help him reach his full potential.
If I support him, it’ll help him achieve too.
I need to be more patient and less critical of him, to do the above.
And we’ve had a fun date. He has a fun side. We can have fun together I’m sure. We’ll build more fun chemistry together given more time. Plus his current stressers will pass.
Is he good for me? I don’t know. I feel that so far he hasn’t been particularly good.
Though he’s been very caring and loving. That’s really nice.
That in itself is very beautiful and rare.