I’m still sick with this…not sure what…stomach flu?
Yesterday I thought I was better, and I had finally published my new website, yay! So I excitely joined everyone on the sea kayak tour.
In part because I thought Sam was gonna be there. But he didn’t show.
It turned out to be a fun tour no less! Robert sitting behind me on the kayak made it extra fun. He was pretty funny.
Some highlights:
1. The seal poking out of the water! Robert said he looked like he was standing on something haha. The seal just looked at us in the most comical way. Like, who the fuck are you guys?
2. A seal jumping out of the water like a dolphin!
3. Splashing water at other people
4. Robert asked, Do you want some water? And splashed me.
5. Robert hit his kayak skirt and I felt it in my skirt. I laughed and he had no idea why unti I hit my skirt and he felt it. I started hitting other ppl’s skirt. Robert kept saying how inappropriate it was.
6. I said, “Wow the wave looks so big! But then..” he said, “But then it just sucked…..that’s what she said.” ahahaha
7. As we waited impatiently for the sun to set, a wave comes over and we can’t see the sun. “Oh, the sun has set”, Robert said. “Let’s go home.” “Oh, no it hasn’t.” Kept saying that a few times. haha
8. As we got back, the waves were so big. I got a huge puddle on my skirt. I screamed, “I’m all wet between my thighs!!”, He said, “Context Tanya, context”.
I’m surprised by the sexual jokes he made. I see him as a kid. He is 13 years younger than me. Only 24. He is sweet to me, and growing up real fast. He takes care of me sometimes. I like him a lot.
He is always very content, peaceful, and funny. He doesn’t get mad. I can learn from him.
So after getting back, I felt a bit tummy sick still. I lied in bed and decided to message Sam.
I told him that we saw two pterodactyls riding a giraffe today at sea. He said I know how to make a man sad.
He asked about how I was feeling and said to let him know if there’s anything he can do.
I said he can read to me his lobster and narwhal story.
He said he thinks that can be arranged.
He then pasted the introduction poem to his story. He said he’ll read it to me soon.
I read the poem and it was fantastic. I really enjoyed it.
I got up to go to the bathroom, and felt wetness dripping down my leg. Holy shit. I didn’t realize he turned me on that much.
I went to bed just thinking about him. Fantasizing about how he might make advances with me.
Today, some of us went on a guided walking tour. I came home early because I was still sick. I was surprised to see Sam on the balcony (with Julia and …Brittany perhaps?)
I talked to them a bit. I asked if he was there to read to me but he laughed.
I went to clean up my bed so I can lie down for a bit. I heard him say that he was gonna get going. What. I was disappointed.
He came over to my door near the bathroom to say goodbye. Didn’t come very close..but at least he said goodbye. He said he hopes I’m back to myself again soon, and he’ll read to me soon.
I thought, wtf why don’t you read to me now? I need this now, while I’m sick!
But I said, Ok, and flashed a cute and shy smile. So did he.
I adore him and I adore his talents, and I think now it’s clear that we both like each other. At the same time I now completely question my ability to judge people’s fondness of each other. I never saw Pia and Brian coming. I never saw Fred and Rebecca coming either. Even AFTER knowing that they have hooked up! And while I haven’t seen Sam and Michelle together, they probably have. Who knows.
Where he has or not hooked up with others, I strongly feel that I have a hold on him. I think he really likes me.
I thought of the things he’s said.
Like when I said I liked how he said “doctor”. He was so thrilled and said he wanted to just say that word for two days.
One time he said he like Robert’s sense of humour. It brightened his day. I said, Aww…he’s your sunshine? Then he said he liked me cheery walk, it brightened his day. I said Am I your sunshine too? He agree I think. Then I said, you are my…bird shirt. He said, at least I’m something to you.
One time I said I have never had met a guy with a bird shirt, the day he wore a bird shirt. He was thrilled. Later when he came over for dinner, he cut the onion into a bunny shape. When he was leaving, I said, Thanks for cutting the onion into a bunny shape! He said, No one has ever said that to me!
The fact that he cut the onions into a bunny shape! He has to like me, right? He wanted to know if I kept it. He was thrilled that I took a photo and even named it Bunion! He laughed. When he was over he mentioned it again. He obviously like it a lot.
I know these are small things. But I feel that there’s mutual desire to espress to each other that we like and care about each other.
When I showed him my bunny Pom Pom and the giraffe, I can see he was thinking that Alex gave them to me. I said, My friend made the giraffe for me. He cautiously didn’t assume gender.
When I commented on Brian changing in front of his window, Sam fell silent. Or when I laugh at other people jokes. I think I felt his jealousy.
Sometimes he deliberately ignores me and talks to Robert. Maybe it’s his British way to act the opposite of what he feels, so as to hide it. I hope that goes away. Usually he is pretty sweet to me.
I want alone time with Sam. But I feel that he’ll make it impossible. I think he does respect the fact that I have a boyfriend.
I want him to read to me in a private setting though! Just me and him. In bed. Not with other people.
I want to get to know his mind. I’m curious about him.
I want us to be closer. And be good to each other.