Tunjung Healer

Had an amazing experience with the healer Tunjung in Ubud.

Justin, Debbie and I went. It was Debbie’s second time. She raved about the first time, so we went.

I wanted to keep an open mind, and I did.

Tunjung looked like Oracle from the Matrix for sure. Younger though. Maybe in her 30s or 40s.

I asked her, I feel that I’m pretty positive and happy, but there’s a sadness. Why?

To my total surprise, she said, It’s something from when you were 12 or 13.

She asked about my relationship with my dad. I said it’s good. She asked about my relationship with my mom. I said it’s great. She said, it’s your mom. You felt a sense of abandonment when you were young.

I said how could that be. I’m an only child, and she was always there.

She said, yes physically, but not emotionally.

I didn’t quite believe it, but I started to cry. I felt so emotional…

I told her about how I lost my hair at 10. The story about how my mom excluded me from a family photo. How she stopped saying that I was beautiful. How she said she felt sorry for me. How she kept trying to find cures for me instead of telling me I was still me and I was still beautiful.

She said I should learn to have no expectations of my parents. They are just human. It was as though she read my mind. I told her that I do think that now. She said, yes, but you need to go back to that time and heal that wound.

She suggested that I meditate on this everyday, until one day I’ll feel my heart open. And the sadness will be gone.

I was amazed and impressed!

I asked her other questions, such as why I have no close friends. Am I too critical? Too judging? She said, you’re not too critical or judging, but you have a certain expectations of what close friends are like. You actually have a lot of people who love you.

  1. I’m happy and positive, but there’s a certain sadness in me. What is it?
  2. I’m holding back, timid and shy sometimes – in my voice, in my actions, fear of not saving enough money, fear of getting old. How can I learn to live with more confidence and be free of these worries?
  3. How can I give and receive love better? Have closer relationships with friends? I feel that I hold back, I can be critical of people. I don’t have very close friends.  Sometimes I feel that people don’t want to be closer friends with me. Like they don’t have a great time around me. Do I have a negative energy? Am I too serious? Too critical? Unrelatable?
  4. Will I find true, lasting love this life? What can I do to help this happen?
There was pain from when I was 12 or 13 that I felt abandonment from my mom. She was there physically but not emotionally.  I blamed her for not being good enough at addressing my alopecia. Eventhough she did her best and has grown and is very supportive of me now.
Meditate everyday, on the thought that I don’t and didn’t need to expect so much of my parents. No expectations. They are human. Don’t compare them to other parents. They love me and when I was a kid going through alopecia, they were doing their best. Forgive. Eventually will feel my heart open. And will not be held back. And will be closer to people.
I have a lot friends who love me she sees. But I have an expectation of what close friends should be. Drop that expectation.
I have high standard and expectation on myself she sees. I’m a good person. Beautiful. Transparent. I’m not complex, but guys don’t understand that. Many people can’t handle too much transparency. Need to find a purist.
Will find love end of next year. See a family with one kid. Not from me. Will have two shorter  relationships before then. Will travel lots.
One past life as a man in white, in the Savannah, helping people along the way. Teaching meditation.
One past life as a woman in prison. I was powerful,  in politics. It was where I lost my hair. She released some pain from that life time.
Sees helping people as part of my journey. Anyone I come across. Supports the idea of me going to alopecia conference to help.
Says I’m honest but in a sarcastic way. In a so-you-know way. Be authentic instead. Say, this is how I feel when you do this and that.