Last night Steve finally messaged me. He apologized for the late reply. Said that Whatsapp doesn’t always notify him. Sigh.
We messaged back and forth for a bit. He asked about my lunch. I was surprised that he remembered.
As much I was disappointed in him in general, I decided to send him what I already typed out about his business anyway. He got the email, and he was very touched. He said I was smart and he was taken aback by this. He said no on has ever wanted to help him in that way. Sent me a kiss.
Well, that was it. Today he messaged me late. 11:30am. It wasn’t a real time conversation either. He trained his nephew and they are still hanging out. He is obviously not making plans with me today. He hasn’t yet made plans with me tomorrow.
I’ve decided now. I’ll just be friends with him. I do want to ask for the favour of him emailing Qalo about wholesale on my behalf, in the near future.
It makes me so sad….that he wasn’t trying harder to spend time with me. That he can go the whole day without messaging me back.
I cried even when he said how much he appreciated me doing that business idea list for him. I always do that. I always give so much. But I get so little back it seems.
I bought the books on being a better girlfriend, on keeping the guy. And I learned a lot. But nothing really helps me with the situation at hand. I tried to be ok with it, but I’m not.
I need to see this for what it is. I’m here for just a few more days, and he is not making much of an effort to see me or even talk to me.
Well, I’m guessing it’s that, he doesn’t care to. I’m not a priority. I don’t want kids. I don’t want to adopt. He basically already has kids…his nephew and niece.
I’m so sad.
I just want to spend time with him even it’s for a short while. I just want to have more sensual sex…make love. I just want quality time, quality touch, quality conversations.
I really want to justify his actions. I want to believe that deep down he is a good guy. And I want to, for once, not break a friendship….but it’s so hard.