Weather forecast had predicted 10 days of rain, but turned out it was just 3 days or so of cloudy drizzle, followed by sunshine for many days! 🙂
It felt like everyday was a bonus day. Another day to live! haha
Spikeball has been the funnest lately.
Volleyball has less action, and ever since Matin took over the group, the OG core members don’t go anymore. It’s just not as fun.
So we played spikeball on sand at Sunset beach on Thursday, where my socks were worn down to 80% holes lol. Then we played again on Friday at Kits beach, where we laughed even more.
Then Saturday, I was so tired. Nicole too. We figured it was from laughing too hard hahaha
Today, I felt sad. Maybe all the dopamine has been used up too quickly?
Or maybe it’s because of Sid or Brian.
Or maybe I have an issue. A psychological one.
On both Thursday and Friday, Sid came out. I didn’t recognize him, but then I saw the way he served, and remembered him! Since Shuto, he was the first person I felt a little something for at spikeball. He is East Indian. He looks like a normal guy….slightly cuter than average. Wears his hat backwards, has light coloured eyes. What really made me feel something towards him was the way he served. He’d look really focused, and that turned me on. Guess I was desperate haha. This was weeks ago…I remember when he left he did come over to say goodbye, but I didn’t feel like he liked me, so shrugged it off and forgot about him.
Then he came on Thursday, nothing much. I think he might have a slight belly, but was still the cutest one there. Then he came on Friday. He made a programmer joke and that really made me laugh. I’d check him out a little bit, but still didn’t feel much from him. Then when everyone was parting ways, he’d keep bumping into me as he hugged other people (totally on purpose), and when I was about to hug either him or another guy goodbye, he cut in-between and hugged me. I said, “Sandwich!”
Then, as people were leaving, he was biking home to the West End and I was e-scootering home. I thought he was just gonna take off, but he kept finding reasons to ride with me. So we rode side by side and chatted until we reached downtown. I talked a lot and didn’t ask many questions, cuz I was nervous.
When I got home, I felt a bit excited about him. I said “Fun day!” in the group chat, and he hearted it. Then I messaged him a photo of my view of the BC Place because there was a game and I told him about my view.
Then I masturbated twice before going to sleep, and again when I woke up. Finally someone that turned me on!
I started fantasizing the possibilities between us. But…it’s been over a day and he still hasn’t replied :/
I think he just hasn’t checked, but, that’s not a good sign.
He has an accent, has an Indian belly (pretty sure), isn’t muscular, probably a Thinker not a Feeler, probably not very romantic (He said he got dragged to a date to watch Barbie), single but probably pretty actively dating, and is probably in his early 30s.
On the good part, he is sexy, funny, likely smart, quite good at spikeball, and an extrovert. Probably has a decent job as a software developer or project manager.
I can see us going on a vacation to Mexico, surfing on a wave machine. He is the only person I can see doing that with right now. Someone who will probably enjoy it, and would be fun to be around.
But, pretty sure my age and alopecia ….one of those two, will be a deal breaker.
Haven’t been feeling confident. Been ghosted so many times on Hinge.
I’m watching Indian Matchmaking as of last night. It’s so nice to see people find love. Also they all age very poorly lol.
I feel like I’m at the end of my youth, and I have to try harder and harder to stay young, and it’s just gonna get worse. Older looking, less good health….for decades to come.
I wonder how long I’ll live. I should be grateful for everyday. But at the same time, I’m thinking, if life quality is no longer good, I’m gonna check out. Return to where I came from. Be one with the source, the big warm ball of energy full of love.