I didn’t fully expect to hear from Sid, but I was certainly hoping, because I told him I had messaged him and asked him to check.
By now I know he is not gonna message me. I try to not fall into the gap mindset.
If I was to be positive about this, what would I be thinking?
- I know for sure we were both giddy for each other when we saw each other in the street.
- I’m 1000% confident that we have chemistry and attraction for each other.
- Because of this certainly, I feel quite calm about us. I feel that if we are meant to be, he will eventually realize how special I am and how special we are, and pursue me.
- Until he realizes this, I ain’t gonna go around chasing him. I don’t chase. I attract. Hahaha
- I’m also probably fine being friends first, and observe who he is. Because, some things don’t add up. For someone so funny, outgoing, cute, and charismatic – why is he not chin deep in girls that he can date? Why is he resorting to apps? Maybe he is urgently seeking a rebound. Maybe he has a fatal flaw. For example, Alex seems amazing – successful, fun, cute. But he is also an alcoholic, an avoidant, and a vengeful person.
- I’m grateful that he has shown me the kind of belly laugh I need and want from a partner. It doesn’t have to be him, but this dynamic has to be between me and my next boyfriend. He’s raised the bar, or rather, brought some clarity to me.
- I’m grateful that he’s elevated my mood
- I’m grateful that he’s helped me get over Brian, who is actually quite toxic to me. Especially right before dinner! I was in such a good mood that I’m sure Brian was secretly more drawn to me. With some resentment probably cuz that’s how toxic he is lol.
- I’m grateful that someone so rare has come into my life. Sam and Mike were this funny. But Sam has a microdick and is mentally a mess. Mike is very cold and introverted. At the moment Sid seems almost perfect. But, let’s not be too delulu. There’s probably something wrong with him lol
- I have no idea why he hasn’t messaged me yet. There are many guesses as to why he hasn’t, but I don’t know the real answer, so I’m not going to make (negative) assumptions. People can take the same action for many different reasons. All I know is that when the time is right, I’ll meet my person. My soulmate.
- I’m grateful for the motivation to work on my mood, energy, charm, and physique. I want to elevate! I think the gain mindset will make me a much more attractive person, and a healthier person to be around and be in a relationship with. And I
So Suraj asked if I wanted to go grab a bite. I said sure! He picked me up, paid for the meal, dressed up nice, and asked me why I’m not dating anyone…complimented me, kissed me on the cheek at the end of the evening. Ah, so it was a date.
Suraj is a great guy, and we get along so well together. We laugh too (but not the same belly laugh I have with Sid).
I learned that he is basically a software developer, team lead, and does client calls too. Impressive! He also has some AI ideas for a startup. I figure he is in his early to mid 30s. He lives in Yaletown and drives a Mercedes. His family is all doctors and engineers. These are all very attractive qualities!
And he is very tall and very good looking really (Taller than Sid and just as good looking). Just a bit chubby. And the way he moves in Spikeball is not sexy like Sid.
The main main thing though, is sense of humour. He is fun, but our humour doesn’t quite line up. If he was as funny as Sid..hmm….I might still complain about the chubbiness. But physique is more solvable.
Sid doesn’t have a car. Is probably in his late 20s. Lives in the West End so it’s further. And it’s small (can only fit 10 ppl). Prioritizes on the girl’s looks it seems. Works in finance instead of tech. No biceps.
In many ways, Suraj is a better match and a better catch!
But, Sid is the one.
I wish I was 10, 20 years younger. I wish I had hair. But, I gotta own my narrative. I gotta embrace my age, my alopecia – they make me the wise and compassionate person I am today.
I have more clarity now. Sid’s personality and sense of humour are what I want. This trumps being an entrepreneur. I just don’t know if he is also thoughtful, deep, kind, and compassionate. But right now, aside from not messaging me, his personality is perfect.