My birthday is today!
Well, it’s 2:45am right now. I’m writing about yesterday.
Today, I got up at around noon, did my 12th Jillian Michaels workout! I’m quite proud of that, because that’s twice a week for the past 6 weeks! I do see more ab definition now. And am slightly more trim. I think if I do 6 more weeks, I’ll have abs.
Showered, then saw Ty’s message about hanging out. I was going to get lavender today (because Anna was going to make me ice cream today!) and turned out that Ty had a lot of lavender left, and so he gave me a bunch!
We went to Deer Lake. Ty came to pick me up, and he was on phone with Cyn when I hopped in the car. It was a bit unexpected, and appalling. I think, it’s because I wanted to have a personal conversation with Ty, and was finding out that nothing is personal. Ty and Cyn are closer than I can be with either of them, just like Norm and his gf Sylvia are closer. Sometimes I’d like to believe that Norm and I are close, but part of me knows that he’ll share some of the secrets I tell him with her. Some of my personal info. I need to be more aware of this.
I wanted to be closer to Ty. I think it’s because logically, I feel that he is a great catch – funny, loyal, similar to me, and a very good boyfriend. I don’t know if I can see him sexually, because there’s no point in doing that. I just feel a bit angry that Cyn takes him for granted. She is hogging a great guy, stringing him along, dating other guys, and expecting waaay too much. She thinks she is so amazing that she deserves all of the above, AND sustained passion. It pisses me off.
I guess I shouldn’t judge. You just can’t be in someone’s shoes fully and understand exactly why they are the way they are.
I think I’m pissed also because she wasn’t the best friend to me the past few months. It’s just harder to be happy for her. She didn’t feel as hurt, because I was never her best friend. Ty was her best friend. So, that’s ok. She won’t be my best friend either.
Anyway, Ty and I walked around Deer Lake. It was so beautiful out! We had a pretty good time.
I asked him what’s going on with him and Cyn, and asked how I can help. He said they decided to be together, and not sure what else is next. Interesting. Cyn never said they decided to be together.
I hold back on talking anything sexual with Ty, just in case one day we end up together. But, now I feel it’s not gonna happen. No one will be higher up in Ty’s world than Cyn. This life time they have is about them together. Ty and I weren’t meant to be. And that’s ok.
I just feel that Cyn is not as dedicated as she should be. Anyway…back to no judgement. It’s their shit to figure out.
Ty came back here and we chatted more about life, past life regression, imprints, and my idea of how lifeforms evolve. It would’ve been funner if it lasted longer, but it was still fun.
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Dad called to wish me Happy Birthday! We chatted for a couple hours.
I posted a picture of me in my denim overalls. Got a few likes (40+) and got a few happy birthdays.
Matthew wished me an early happy birthday at around 11:30pm. I was on phone with Dad, so by the time I got back to him, he was hopping into bed. I said I miss his yummy everything, and he said him too. And wished me happy birthday again. He’s been really quite sweet.