I thought about, how, all these 7 years, all I wanted out of Matthew was for him to know that I’m successful as an entrepreneur, and for him to accept my alopecia. Yet, as soon as this was achieved, our paths diverged.
Just like, when the last thing about Patrick came true (Inspiring Australian beach bum with long blonde hair) – when he became blonde – our paths diverged.
I remember Becky told me to not manifest qualities in my dream guy. Such a weird thing to say. But maybe there’s something to it.
What if, I wish that Matthew and I are for each other? That we’ll make each other happy? That we’ll be honest, sincere, passionate, and loving towards each other. That we’ll never cheat on each other. That we’ll have unending love and compassion and affection for each other?
When I put it that way, I don’t see how he can ever be that.
But at the same time, how can we ever be together ever again?
I really enjoyed our time together….but was that it? Seems like such a shame…
Right now we are both still hot, still passionate for each other.
Years from now, we won’t be as hot. We will never be the same. This is as good as it gets. Yet, we are (I am) letting it go.
Will I ever find someone as cute and funny and smart and great in bed as Matthew? I hope so.