Wifi is still shit at the main house, so everyone left to find co-working space early on.
I really like Workshop 17, and asked if anyone wanted to join me. Of all people, Michelle said yes. Ugh.
I don’t have much against her, but it’s a bit uncomfortable knowing that her and Sam slept together. I guess not as much so now because Sam went back on Tinder. M and I try to be nice to each other.
Yesterday, Sam was MIA. Part of me thought that he probably was on a date. And I was right. I hung out mostly with Robert all day. He is fun, but when it’s just the two of us it’s a bit boring. At night we all went to Fred and Michelle’s SkillShare. It was surprisingly bad. The food was just bags of chips, and Michelle’s presentation was just her “thesis”, which was digital infinity, which was lame. She wanted / expected us to play with it, but it was too lame. We played the gruesome “Guts” video game that Fred motion captured instead. It was the most gory game ever! People can fight even when they’ve lost all their limbs!
Anyway, thankfully Julia and Wilhelm came too. Julia and Michelle were working together. I sat with Wil. It worked out! We can talk about Amazon stuff.
Then, Sam showed up. He sat across from me. He consistently chose me over everyone else these days, and me too. But, it’s not the same as before. I mean, I still am somewhat infatuated, but it’s controlled. I love my bunny and I can’t wait to see him.
I had my headphone on as I did boring task. Somehow we still ended up poking our heads around our laptops and chatting, and throwing sugar packets at each other.
We went to lunch. Everyone was coming, including Michelle, but thankfully Julia stayed behind and Michelle left early to bring her food.
Sitting with everyone was boring. I wanted to go for a walk in the sun. I asked if Sam wanted to come. He said Sure, why not. That made me feel that he went on a date last night. And he did.
His date invited another couple to come out, which surprised him. I’m sure they still had sex though. I kept a distance from him.
We went to see some seals. Earlier he had asked if I would’ve stayed here longer if I could, and if I was looking forward to going back to Vancouver. I said I didn’t like that it gets dangerous at night to go out alone, and I look forward to going home. But at some point I started talking about Alex and how we had a fight and I felt pessimistic about moving in with him.
We sat down somewhere and talked about it. I almost cried. He rubbed my arm.
After hearing what I said, he didn’t think I should be with Alex. He said that Alex reminded him of his ex. She didn’t have her own dream and he imposed his travelling and working dream on her. She would agree to it first but would then rebel and not do it.
I asked if she was the self-sabotaging type, and he totally agreed. One time she almost deliberately missed her flight, and she had no money to take a cab to a hotel, nor the money to book a hotel. He did all that for her, but she complained about the hotel, so he booked her another one, but it was closed. He ended up spending 200 Euros booking her into another hotel at 4am, and she said Maybe one day you’ll learn how to treat a girl right. WTF!!!
Or one time, she suddenly wanted to do coke. He didn’t. She went out on her own, did coke with some strangers, and complained that he didn’t give her freedom.
Well, I’m amazed in many ways. First of all, that he was in love with a person like this and put up with this shit. Second, that he sounded like a good boyfriend that did his best and spoiled her. And third, I wish I could be spoiled.
Maybe younger guys are less jaded, and would do a lot for love. By the time I come across them, they don’t spoil me.
Well, Alex does treat me like a princess often though. I just need to pay attention to see it. Like, opening the door for me, renovating the place, being very attentive, doing dishes, saying sweet things.
I might be just more critical of him at the moment because I’m still infatuated with Sam.
I mentioned that I was laughing so much here (in part?) because of him, and Alex didn’t seem as funny. He said that people are funnier in the beginning. I guess that’s true.
He is also more objective today because he just had sex I think.
I think, he likes me a lot. He can’t admit it to me, because I have a boyfriend. He needed and wanted to find someone else, because he wants to love, but also because he doesn’t want to get too close to me, out of respect. That’s my interpretation of the situation.
But we do gravitate towards each other.
After we got back from long lunch break, I worked for some more and he went home.
I wanted to tell him that he seemed like a dedicated boyfriend, because I felt that he should know that I think this way of him, and I didn’t let him know this after he told me everything he did for his ex.
So I messaged him. He said thanks for saying that.
Also, for no reason obvious to me, I mentioned that I like guys with grit because it’s not just in biz but also in relationship.
He wrote:
Thanks for saying that:blush:
I’ve enjoyed our walks and talks
You’re certainly right to get anywhere you need to have grit,
(and also a bit of wit)
But it is just as useful to know when to quit,
There’s no point going down on a sinking ship,
Be it a business or relationship!
I went on to say,
I feel it’s fate that Alex came into my life. I need to give us a fair chance at it. If it works out then great, if not, we’ll learn something. It pains me to feel that the chance is slim though.
While I was typing that he changed the subject and said he wanted to write a book about a boy who found a giant bird and rides it around to save smaller birds.
Maybe of all things I’ve influenced him on, it’s riding animals, haha.
We got home from W17, and started getting ready for the pirate boat. I happened to have brought a red bandana, and I put on a ton of eye shadow, so that worked out well!
As we arrived, Sam was so jealous of my eye shadow. He wanted some. But he only had a sharpie ahahah
He drew a skull tattoo on my arm. It was quite lame haha.
I was about to draw his eye shadow with the sharpie, but the moment it touched his eye, he said No. So instead I drew eyebrows and a goatee and a moustache. It wasn’t very well done, but it looked alright and really funny.
I then drew a curly moustache on Robert. I had practiced on Sam and did a great job on Robert! He looked just right with that moustache!
Sam and I went up to the upper deck. For some reason we just spent the whole time there together. We get along so well…sometimes I forget to socialize with other people.
It was cold so the captain gave me a ragged pirate coat to wear, which was nice of him!
We saw whales from a distance!
Brian and Pia came up. Then eventually Robert and Ashley came up.
We had some fun, then, feeling that it was almost time to get off, I went downstairs to find my bag.
Sam came down soon after.
Michelle was a bit flirty and physical with him, which annoyed me. I didn’t want to look at them.
After the boat ride, Sam wanted to go for steaks. I wasn’t very hungry, and Michelle wanted to join him, so I said maybe and then no. Christa and I were gonna go check out Shimmy! Michelle changed her mind and wanted to come with us. What!
But then they all stayed at Mitchell’s for a bit, while Christa, Fred, Dan, and I walked to Shimmy’s to see if there’s a DJ there tonight. Nope. It was dead.
Fred was taking forever to come back to hop on Uber, because he was trying to dispute yesterday’s bill with Shimmy.
Christa showed her high EQ by not getting mad at all, slipping the driver a R10, and waited for Fred to come back!
We went back to Mitchell’s. There was a semi-cute guy who used to be an engineer and now sells on Amazon. We were gonna talk had he come along to the walk to Shimmy…but he didn’t come along and he didn’t come to me after I got back to Michell’s.
I ate a bit, felt bored, and went home with Willi and Lindsay.
Right after I got home, Sam asked if I bailed. Yes, I know you miss me.
Alex is cuter lately, with more varying messages! I miss him. I’m gonna do my best to make us work out! <3