As I spend more time with Alex, my mind keeps on changing.
He is so loving. He is cute. He is loyal. He is grateful.
My mind about Sam changes too. I know he is not going to reply to my FB message anymore. It makes me sad, but I also wouldn’t know what to do if he replied.
I think about Sam but not as often now. One day I woke up thinking about how he might’ve played me, how he might’ve been messaging other women the same type of things….but I read what I wrote and looked at the timeline of things….I realized that, chances are, we have something special. His mind was on me a lot. The questions he asked me showed that I was on his mind. Even after he’s spent time with other girls (such as his tinder date), it seems that he can’t help but get drawn to me again.
And in any case, it’s better for me to believe that I had his heart and mind.
At the same time, it doesn’t matter. Not right now.
Alex and I have a pretty amicable relationship right now. We cook together, we care about each other, we are sweet to each other.
He is easy to live with. He is grateful, always saying thank you. He is loving, always wanting and willing to please. Always carrying stuff for me, opening doors for me. He is reliable. I can count on him. He is clean. He does dishes while we cook. He does dishes when he wakes up. He insisted on doing dishes.
I really don’t have much negative to say about living with him.
But I can’t stay with him. For these reasons:
- We don’t have intellectual conversations
- We have very different sense of humour
- He is uninspiring
- He has no big goals and he does not actively pursue his goals; if I hold him accountable he rebels.
- He gets stressed out too easily
- His positivity seems fake and masked. He actually complains a lot.
- He likes the dark stuff: dark news, dark movies
- For the most part, he is not smart in a way that I can appreciate
- He is shy and not very witty for the most part, especially around my friends and family.
- He focuses on little things too much.
The main things are the first three things. These alone are deal breakers.