Well, we talked, and it was worse than I expected.
He came over to my room. I tried to be very honest and open with him. I told him that he broke my heart again and again and I’m numb now. I was borderline going to cry, but there were no tears.
I asked him to be open to me. He said he blocked out the painful memories and would not go into that place.
I wanted him to pin point when I made him feel that I attacked him when he tried to open up to me.
He kept refusing to go back in time.
He kept saying that he already said to me many times why I wasn’t for him. It was something about energy.
He said I should work on myself. My insecurities.
I said it’s too vague, be more specific. But he can’t.
It ended up being a very unproductive talk.
He started to get up to leave. I asked him to be more patient. He said we can try another time. I said no.
I was very mad and I chased him out. I said he was awful. I said he needed to work on himself.
But after he left, I didn’t feel super upset. I wanted to call Mom, but I wasn’t crying and my heart beat wasn’t increased.
I felt very little.
But I did have a strong urge to tell him that he has a needle dick.
It’s mean, but I want to email him that after I’m back in Vancouver.
Most likely I won’t, unless he proves to be more hurtful in the next 10 days.