It’s been exactly 1 week since mushroom.
It’s interesting…
I was SO HORNY for the first 2 days..masturbating 6 times a day…then it drops to yesterday where I didn’t even feel like masturbating.
I wasn’t feeling particularly sad in the sense of dopamine or serotonine deficiency, which is good.
I just feel sad about me and Bunny. I wish we could work out. I wish he wasn’t in such a dark place. I wish he was healthy and happy and rich – and horny for me! Well, I’m close to making him rich. He officially doubled my $1M on Friday! That means I’ll give him $400K. That’s a pretty good pay day!
But he whines about wishing he didn’t miss out on last year. Ugh. In such times I feel that he’ll never be happy.
There’s no fun nicknames anymore. There’s no cuddling. There’s no joy. There’s, of course, no making out and no sex.
Can you really blame me for falling for someone else?
I cried last night.
I don’t want to be “soft-cheating”, as in, making out with someone, no sex. But I also have needs. Needs of being held and kissed in a loving way.
Alex and I chatted a bit today on Whatsapp. He volunteered to put be my shirtless model. Haha.
I hired him to be my business coach for an hour tomorrow. I have no idea what tomorrow is gonna bring.
I haven’t been thinking about him much. I haven’t been as turned on. I’ve been busy working, fixing our Amazon listings.
But tomorrow I’m gonna look cute for him. I’ll likely act like I was fighting hard to resist his pull, knowing me, haha. It’ll be fun I think. I hope we have a good time. And I hope I learn a lot from him. His business acumen is one of the things that makes him attractive to me. I hope he lives up to it haha.
I think I’m open to making out, and having an intimate convo. Haven’t had that with Bunny in years.
I hope he doesn’t smell. That would be the hardest thing. My nose has been too good! I smell everything.