Ugh…
I was so into Alex. And we had such a build up towards the weekend…
Then he bailed on me last minute.
That’s the second time in the past 4 weeks. So basically I only see him once every 2 weeks, just like with Matthew. And there’s a 50% chance of him cancelling on me last minute.
On one hand I’m not surprised. On one hand I’m so disappointed. On another hand I’m kinda hoping it wouldn’t be a regular thing….but, he doesn’t have the best track record in general…I kinda knew that since he always missed his flights.
What happened was that he drove over a nail and his tire blew. He said he’d need to fix that and then he’d uber to me if he had to, to get to my arms (strange way to put it…I felt like the protective figure….the big spoon).
That was 1pm. 6 hours later, after much back and forth of me telling him how much I wanted him, and him being quite convincing that he’ll come…he said he ate some fried chicken and was in a food coma. WTF!
I was so upset.
He said he was also moody from the car issue.
I said we both go through a lot of stress in life/biz, and I thought he was the type of person to take stresses in stride. His tire blew and they can’t fix it…that’s enough to bring him down so much that he can’t see me???
And to get into a food coma???
I was so wet earlier, and was so turned off after this.
He said he when he is with me he wants to give me all of his attention and he just couldn’t that day.
Putting it that way helped, but I was still sad.
In a way I get it. Guys are less resilient. They can’t take stress as well (except for extreme cases such as Elon Musk). I think if we were to find an average, girls take stresses better than guys, but there are more outliers in guys.
I didn’t respond to his last message. We’ll see. I hope it works out well.
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Went to see Bunny today. He was expecting me to visit him yesterday (Saturday). I didn’t realize I committed to that…I was planning to meet with Alex. I was also busy working, so Bunny said it’s fine if we meet today (Sunday), which would’ve been great if I got to meet Alex. Instead, I was actually working all night.
Bunny and I haven’t met up on weekends in a while, so, I was actually surprised that he wanted to see me. I saw him during the week already.
I think he is feeling better the past 2 days. Talked to some of this friends, and wanted me to visit. When I went, he had a smile on his face. Haven’t seen that in a while. He said the mushroom helped lift his mood too.
He was so distraught and hopeless just last week.
Part of me feels like at a higher consciousness level, he was in deep sorrow because I was hooking up with Alex. And when in the past two days Alex disappointed me and we are not great anymore, Bunny felt better. It’s probably not the case, but, I felt that way.
Sometimes I surprise myself at how I don’t feel very guilty about all this.
I can totally have sex with both Bunny and Alex and not feel guilty. Except, Alex has my attention. I like being with him so much.
I was still horny around Bunny today. He was a bit more touchy, but still not even touching my boobs. I was a little upset and got up to leave. But I managed to hide my sadness mostly, reminding myself that he’s already improved today.
He ordered some really yummy chicken shwarma for us, and we watched South Park post covid special – sooo good, so brilliant. That was really uplifting. That’s something Alex and I can’t bond on.
We then watched an episode of Price is Right from 1976. It was hilarious!
Then we cuddled. I was topless (wearing pants cuz of period). Bunny was in knee pain again…every time we lie down to sexy cuddle he is in pain. Made me roll my eyes… but he was almost in tears so… not his fault. He rubbed my back a bit. So little action compared to what Alex and I have done.
When I was leaving, he did give me a decent kiss. But, I probably didn’t seem as appreciative as he thought I would be. I mean, no sex for 8 months. No making out. No nothing. A kiss isn’t gonna be enough. Also I prefer Alex’s lips. They are smaller and smoother, and felt like the same size as mine.
Physically it’s as though Alex and I are made for each other. I think chemically too. Being around him is just so uplifting. I’m always so happy. That’s why he is so addictive. That’s why I’m so into him.
When he said he wants to give me his full attention when he is around me, I didn’t realize it’s a conscious thing. I give him my full attention naturally…
Bunny’s dick never felt as good, except for that one time on my birthday. Strange because their dicks look very similar. Similar size and girth.I pretty much have forgotten how Bunny’s dick feels…but it wasn’t like Alex’s dick. It sometimes hurts. Alex’s dick, when it enters me, I felt like a mac laptop booting up. I literally turn on.