Author: spacebunny@gmail.com

Steve messaged me this morning, around 10:30, after 24 hours. Today, we messaged a couple times back and forth, then he hasn’t responded for 8 hours now. Didn’t even check his Whatsapp.

I’ve been battling in my head, am I reading too much into this. Yesterday he was busy. But still, too busy to write anything? Today, he didn’t check all day….what could it be?

Maybe he is out on another date.

Sigh.

Whatever the reason is, it’s not acceptable to not reply within a few hours.

Is it so hard to be sweet to me for a couple weeks?

I so want to be loved.

I want to text him to tell him off, because I’m mad, I’m sad. I feel unimportant.

I gotta let him go.

I spent yesterday typing up some business ideas to help him.

I won’t send it to him now. It’s his loss.

I’m like Ted from How I met your Mother. I’ll always have hope. I won’t be jaded. I’ll be true. I’ll have a sense of wonder.

I didn’t realize that even just my subtle feeling of disappointment on that date was already bringing this downhill. Man. Guys can be so sensitive these days.

Unlike the old days…guys seemed to be more resilient. People, in general, were more willing to try.

Sigh.

I feel so sad.

I thought we had something, even if not long term.

I want to give him the benefit of a doubt. Maybe he had a busy day. But two days in a row?

Even if it’s business related, it’s not good for our relationship in the long run.

Oh well.

I think I’ll just not get into any relationship for now.

Hey, at leasts I no longer think about Sam.

I just wish with Steve it was more bittersweet….like we both want to make it work but we know it’s not a good idea.

Instead, he is just becoming distant.

I will think about something else now. I’ll occupy myself with something else.

I’m brilliant. I’m beautiful. I’m smart. I’m funny. I’m a high quality woman. I’m a great catch. I’m the one. I’m the one and only. I’m sunshine that brightens and warms the day. I’m so fun and pleasant to be around. I’m sexy. I’m inspiring. I’m lovable. I’m enough.

 

 

 

 

 

I’m a little scared to take the next steps. So let me write this out to help clarify my own vision and help me feel more confident about my decisions.

1. Rings
   1. I have the women’s collection colours readily picked. I will get Martin to sample all the colors. Sort out the fact that some colours are inconsistent and find a solution. e.g. Always go darker if in doubt. Always check in sunlight. Avoid translucency (we want opacity)
      1. Black grey and white already done
      2. We can use existing purple pyramid
      3. Still need to sample 8 colors (possibly more to choose the right one)
      4. Also try 3 metallic (for the Iguana collection perhaps, and pearl white)
      5. Black sparkles and more glitter based (Xmas)
      6. neon (maybe later)
      7. light blue and light pink (pearlescent?)
      8. rose gold still popular I think
      9. chevron rings for women
      10. filigree rings for women (try hollow and not)
   2. Men’s collection (sample on the right rings and sizes)
      1. Paramedics blue/white
      2. Black and purple perhaps
      3. Red white blue
      4. copper comfort fit
      5. orange and blue
      6. solid red
      7. gear ring would be a cool idea (steam punk)
      8. mountain ring (speak to the people!!! hikers, climbers; try pre-order)
   3. Get started on brand identity and tone of voice and then design packaging
   4. Ring box option? Gear for Xmas
   5. What are some other preps for Xmas?

I had been a bit sad about Steve…couldn’t quite place the reason. I think it’s because we weren’t intimate at all when I went to a session with him. But then, it wasn’t to be expected, and I let that go. I just missed being intimate with him, and him not initiating it made me insecure about us.

But then in Wednesday, he said good morning and we started chatting on and off. He said he’s been tired since our last date (on Friday) and had just recovered. Turned out he gets up at 5am everyday automatically, so he usually goes to bed at 9pm.

Sometimes a little clarification makes everything brighter again. I was wondering what took him so long to initiate another date.

So we went paddleboarding yesterday. I guess I was a little sad that he came quite late…4:20pm. He worked, boxed, trained his nephew, then came. It’s not super late, but when you know he goes to bed at 9pm, it isn’t a lot of time for us to paddleboard, have dinner, then have sex.

I think my face kinda showed the disappointment. I’m a bit hard to please.

We did all that though. Paddleboarding was somewhat fun but not extremely. He was sometimes funny. He was just funny enough for me to want to keep him really. Plus he has so many other great things about him. He is fairly outgoing. I like that. He is very thoughtful. I noticed that he expresses his love through acts of service. He would open the door to his car for me often. He changed my paddle to the right length for me. He hid our slippers for us before we went off to the sea. He set up the candles and music before we started having sex.

I wish he was more of a words person though. More compliments. He says nothing during sex. He rarely compliments me. He is not very wordy or funny during chat.

He is such a great catch, yet at the same time, I feel not fully head over heel. Yet at the same time, I’m balling right now thinking about letting him go. I really like him.

He is a good guy. A giving guy. A loyal guy. Someone who probably will love me forever if we get into a relationship.

He wanted me to teach him to be location independent, and he wants to live in the warm climate all year round. He thinks very much like me!

He want to sell his business eventually. He traded stocks recently and did well. He is kind to people. He is patient. He is smart. His dick is beautiful. He butt is adorable. His body is hairless. He laughs out loud.

Can I be with him long term? I don’t know…sometimes he seems too boring to me. But sometimes he seems alright.

The biggest thing however, is that he wants kids. He asked yesterday if I would be willing to adopt. I didn’t answer him. Honestly, this relationship will never work because kids are something he really wants. He said on our first date that if we were best friends then he probably doesn’t need to have kids. I really think that it will still surface.

There are things I don’t like about him…like the fact that he hardly messaged me today. Or that he doesn’t compliment me enough. Or that he is not playful enough. But, these are things that he can improve upon. We can both work to make this relationship work.

But the kids issue, and, two more things – his biz at its infancy, and him living in Victoria…these are deal breakers.

The kids thing is 100% deal breaker. The other two are 80%.

Well, I hope I’ll see him two more times before I move to Vancouver. Though realistically I think we’ll only see each other one more time. He might come visit me in Vancouver though. Either way. I’ll be ok.

I’ve wanted to cry since the beginning of this relationship. Today I really cried. Sigh.

It was good to have him help me get over Sam and get some good sex finally! That I really really appreciate.

And how cute were we, kissing in the tree!

I’m gonna miss him. I don’t think we can be friends after this, until I’ve found someone else.

I feel like he can though. I really don’t know just how much he likes me.

We are similar in that, we both didn’t have any long term relationship for about 9 years. I think it means we are quite willing to end a relationship if it’s not a fit.

 

 

 

I don’t know what it is exactly… I feel sad. I cried.

I’m annoyed by a lot of things. I’ve been annoyed at Mom ever since I got back. More so than usual. At first I attributed it to Sam. I think he had a bad energy that rubbed off on me. I’ve been hiding it. Secretly rolling my eyes. That’s probably like how he treated me too. I wanted nothing but good for us, and he was filled with contempt. I felt like that towards Mom…and I don’t know how to not feel that way.

And in some ways I’m probably justified actually. Sometimes she is so negative without knowing. Steve asked me about my muscles the day after the workout. She said, “Oh he only asked about your muscles not you? He only cared about his business?” Ugh. I hated that. TBH it did cross my mind briefly, but I quickly corrected and thought of it as his form of caring. But she planted that seed in me. And today when he asked again about my muscles, I felt that he didn’t care about me.

And I’m sad about Steve too. Yesterday everything seemed fine. But today, he didn’t message me all day. I felt so neglected. He forgot about booking me in for tomorrow until I reminded him.

Sure he probably had a busy day as he told me he would, but he’s been on my mind all day. I wanted him. I wanted to make out with him. I wanted to make love with him.

And yesterday, we didn’t even get to kiss. He didn’t try to kiss me. He didn’t touch me. We had just had sex 2 days before. It felt so weird. But then again, I was keeping a bit of a distance too. I didn’t know how to behave. Maybe he was the same way. He was attentive though.

I think there are two things at play here. I’m falling for him and I have started to expect things. I have started to wonder where we stand. I should not worry. Remember the other time, a couple days before our date, when I thought maybe he had flirted, and I flirted back? And he didn’t reply for hours? And I started googling “How to not take things personally”. Omg. I need to remember that I can get that way. I felt so insecure about whether he liked me or not. I played back to when I went to his studio, how he didn’t complement me on my mohawk upon seeing it for the first time.

Then when he replied, I was so relieved. And, more than that…he said he checked out my alopecia video and thought I was awesome. And that he sent it to his mom too.

Remember that. Remember how he can be subtle. Remember how I can be a bit insecure.

Remember how he was super sweet and passionate during sex. Remember how he thanked me that next day and said he felt great. Remember how he was very thoughtful the day I went in for a session. Feel it in his act, not in his words.

Don’t let Mom inject doubt and negativity into my mind.

But that’s what I can’t stand. I can’t stand living here with Mom. She can be so different from me, in a way I dislike. She is so opinionated. So judging. So black and white. So small minded. So slow. So dumb. UGGGGHHHH.

I hate that she is always stressed out about the tiniest things. I hate that she can’t see the big picture of my biz when I give away products. I hate that she is so opinionated about everything that every person does.

I honestly can’t live in Victoria. I can’t stand her.

Strange how I’m less tolerant of her, after my session with Tunjung. Granted I haven’t bee meditating. And I have been in a bad mood. Until I met Steve….I was in such a good mood 2 days ago when we had sex! But the high has come down….

I’m scared. I’m scared that Steve isn’t into me after sex. That he just wanted to be polite and friendly. I’m so scared. Why?

• Because guys sometimes just want to get laid. And same here.
• We had sex a bit too early on – second date! From kissing to having sex…it made me wonder if he was taking this seriously. Though the same can be said about me.
• He hasn’t told me anything about previous relationships. He did say that he is loyal.
• He kinda wants kids. It makes me worry that he already dismissed me like Jeffrey did. And also, I kinda dismissed him myself because of this.

I’d feel better if we talk it out, have great sex again, and that he takes the initiative to call me or arrange a date with me.

I said to myself before, that we can be friends. But now, it’s gonna be near impossible….I’m so attracted to him. And then, I had the idea that we’d just date for the next 10 days…but now, I want him to want me for much more. I don’t want us to end. But we are so new. I don’t know much about him yet. I’m quite sure he is not playful enough nor funny enough for me. And I don’t like that he is at the start of his biz. But….he seems to have so much to offer. More than anyone before him. I adore him.

I want to cry but I don’t know why. I did cry. I don’t know if it’s a deep down love for him or feeling turned on that made me cry. It’s kinda like the great sexy cry. Or is it foreseeing the pain that is to come, when we end? I don’t want this to end. I want us to just really like and appreciate each other, adore each other, and have amazing sex.

After amazing sex with Steve, I decided that I will get a pack of 5 sessions with him, since I wouldn’t mind see him more often.

I got there 10 minutes late, which is terrible for a 20 minute session! He was nice about it.

We hugged, he said he liked my blue hair, I paid for the 5 sessions, I got changed, he set me up, and we started. He was very professional and we didn’t really flirt. He was sweet though. Asking if I liked the music. Giving me a towel on the side. Attentive about adjusting the strengths of the electric current for each area. He also added the inner thigh kegel stimulator because we talked about it.

The current was stronger this time, so it was more of a muscle grab than a buzz that made me giggle a lot.

He said I had good balance and strength. Wasn’t sure if he was just being nice and encouraging, or was impressed. He did say I was awesome at the end…not sure what about though.

He said that the wall of gears kinda looked like a BDSM wall. Haha. I said yes, add a collar and a whip next time.

A guy had an appointment after me. He was patient though. As he was paying, I said goodbye to Steve. Steve wanted to get up to say goodbye, but I was on my way out.

Later on I thanked him for the session, and he apologized for not giving me a proper goodbye. I said that’s totally fine. Maybe whip me next time when he’s added a whip to the wall.

He said I was so funny. He’s cute like that. Thinking that I’m funny. Though I kinda wish he could be funnier….at least in messages. We do have fun in person though.

I wasn’t as horny when I saw him today. But I did wish that we had a good kiss. Maybe if I wasn’t so late haha.

I wasn’t sure if he’d be up for making out during his work hours either. I tried to not expect that.

I really don’t know where we are heading. Though I think at the very least he’ll come visit me in Vancouver while I’m there, because he hasn’t visited the EMS studio there, and there’s a new one opening in Yaletown!

I wouldn’t mind doing him the favour of being his spy. Come to think of it, maybe he can be my spy for asking Qalo about wholesaling!

I really like him.

There are some things I wish wasn’t in the way, like him being in Victoria or him being less funny/playful, or in the middle of just starting a biz. Or the fact that he wants kids. But so far he seems to have so much to offer as a boyfriend. He is loyal, sincere, reliable, patient, honest, sweet, smart, and a go-getter. He doesn’t get stressed out he says. That’s amazing.

I learned today that Uncle Ted’s marriage with Aunt Martha was an arranged marriage! I had no idea. I thought he had said to her when they were getting married, “I’ve finally got what I wanted.” Today he said he didn’t feel much when they met. It took some time.

In all honesty, based on what I know about Steve, he is such a great catch. If this were an arranged marriage, I’d jump on it in a heart beat. I’d feel super lucky.

Let us not forget about his amazing body, dick, ass, lips, and how great he is at making love. Oh man. He is the best I’ve had probably. Sure Matthew and Patrick were great too, but, with him, there’s more soul.

 

 

 

I was so nervous about this date. Technically it’s our 2nd date…and third time seeing each other. This is the time that, for sure we are gonna kiss and maybe more, so I was nervous.

I didn’t want to wear a wig because I wanted to make out haha.

He came to pick me up. Mom wanted to check him out so she secretly stood by the window. Ugh.

He came wearing a nice light grey shirt and some nice dark denims, a fresh haircut, and sunglasses. He was hawt.

I hopped on his giant truck. It was so big, I was wondering if he was compensating…

We laughed a lot on the way to dinner. Mostly from excitement. We talked about kegel balls – the product I’ve been looking into selling. I told him about a woman who can carry a surf board with her pelvic floor.

We had a vegetarian dinner at Be Love. It was quite bad, despite the great review. I was too excited to eat anyway.

He made me laugh when he suddenly thought about how the woman with the strong pelvic floor would’ve had a place to hang her purse at dinner. He is cute.

I freely ordered because it was gonna be my treat. Buuuut…I discovered that I forgot my wallet. He had to pay for that $86 meal…ouch. I felt bad. Because he has just started his business. He was good about it though.

We walked around downtown. Still didn’t kiss or hold hands yet…but we both wanted to.

At one point my shoe fell apart.. man… We head back to my place so I can change my shoes.

It turned out well because after that, we went to the Fireman’s park to climb the tree. He helped me get up and that was the first time we held hands.

We got to the top and talked and laughed. And, finally, we kissed. He was a good kisser! I had told him moments before that I can get an orgasm just from my ears kissed. It quickly turned into a passionate make out session and he went straight for my ears haha. He was a bit too good at it… groping my ass, my body, my breasts. Kissing my ears, my neck. He was turning me on so much. My knees were weak and it would’ve been safer to make out on the ground. So we came back down.

Funny how we went up the tree as strangers and came down as a couple.

We kept kissing and making out….it was exactly what I wanted. He was sooo sexy. There were deer and people nearby too. But that’s ok.

He leaned me again the soccer field fence and we made out some more. His dick agains my pussy. I felt his dick through his pants by accident. He was not small. But it was off to one side of his pants so I worried that it was crooked.

We made out some more in front of his truck. Then I said Let’s go see your new couch! He was a bit shy that he lived in a basement suite. I said I used to live in my mom’s basement. He said that made him feel better.

It was actually a nice place! It was newly renovated, and his stuff was all new. His new couch was amazing! It was so big so we can make out some more on it.

It was the first day of my period though….

I was just gonna take my socks off I said. He said, me too. And took his socks off as he went to get some candles haha. We both loved candles.

We made out really hard and eventually got naked. His dick was super erect and it was PERFECT! It was big but not overly big. It was super straight. His balls were cute too. He was just beautiful.

His chest was gorgeous, muscular, hairless. His nipples are perfect. His ass. OMG. The cutest ass I’ve ever seen my entire life.

Actually his dick was also the best I’ve ever seen. It felt heavier than any dick I’ve ever touched. Not sure why. I sucked on it. I wanted to suck on it more, but we started having sex before I got to.

He was so good at making love to me. He was perfect in every way. He kissed my lips, my ears, my neck. He liked my nipples and played with them. He pounded me just right…his dick felt AMAZING in me.

I wanted to be loud, so bad. But he had an upstairs neighbour.

Still, I revelled in the sex. I’ve waited about a year to have good sex!

We showered after. It was cute.

Then when I came back, he had folded my pants. WHAT. I’ve always folded the guys’ pants, but never experienced that myself. He was the sweetest.

He was clearly tired. I kept kissing him while naked in a towel. He kissed me tenderly and romantically. He gently brushed his hand down my side and it felt so good.

 

Finally he gave me a ride home. Everything was amazing. It was everything I had hoped for and more. I was soo happy.

I want us to be a happy couple for as long as possible! I like him a lot.

Hi Steve!

I think you’ve done an incredible job with Charge Fitness. We’ve only just met, but I’m already so proud of you 🙂

Here are some ideas for your business.

1. Create all customer personas you can think of. How old are they? What are their hangouts? What do they care about? (Saving time? Getting abs? Improving neuro health? Improving joint pain? Amplifying their sports performance?) Think about out what specific benefits are the reasons why they would choose EMS.
2. Minimum dose, maximum effect
   1. With this concept in mind, you can ask some powerful questions. For example, how can I let as many people know about Charge Fitness as possible, with as little money/time/effort as possible?
   2. The fact that you already gained traction with limited exposure, means: more exposure = more customers
   3. Ideas to reach a lot of people with minimum dose:
      1. Partner with businesses with big mailing lists, so they email their thousands of staff or customers about you. e.g. big local companies such as Shaw or Telus, athletic events such as the marathon or Spartan Race or Tough Mudder, golf clubs (old rich people who are active), yacht clubs, crossfit gyms, bouldering gyms, biohackers (nootropics lovers, cryotherapy lovers). Rehab-related organizations too – physio clinics, arthritis foundations, etc.
      2. Partner with influencers (find them on Instagram, details below)
      3. How to maximize word-of-mouth with your existing customers?
      4. Search Engine Optimization (SEO)
3. SEO
   1. Great way to get free traffic. You want to be on page 1 when people search on Google.
   2. What do your prospective customers search for? Come up with a list of potential searches that will lead people to sign up to Charge Fitness. e.g. “Best gyms in Victoria”, “Personal trainers Victoria”
   3. Get on Yelp, and get happy customers to give you reviews. Get at least 9 reviews. Why? Because when you google “Best gyms in Victoria”, Yelp comes up as a top result. When you click into it you’ll see that the most reviews these gyms have is 8. Get 9 good reviews, and you’ll be ranked #1 on this list. This is free traffic!
   4. Blogging is a slow but steady way to improve your SEO ranking too.
4. Instagram
   1. Follow all fitness influencers in Victoria, and follow their followers
   2. Build a relationship with these influencers by liking and commenting on their posts
   3. Then DM them to invite them for a free session
   4. Get them to talk about you to their fans on their IG. Maybe just a great photo of their workout, maybe a bigger incentive such as another free session (barter).
   5. Have your social media guru devise an IG contest. Or talk to influencers about contests. They are probably experienced.
5. Barter
   1. Bartering with your service is great because a session is worth more to the recipient than what it costs to you. Plus it fills up your studio so it makes the business look great!
   2. If you have a booking for 1 person, it’s probably not a lot of extra time and effort add 1~2 more people to that session. When you barter, you can give these time slots. This shows scarcity too (because you’re not just giving away any free session time slot).
6. Gather useful information
   1. In the first-time survey form, can add:
      1. “What convinced you to come?”
         1. You’ll discover what specific line converted this person. And you’ll see a pattern of which demographics get converted on which points.) For example, what convinced me to come was that you are yummy. Hahaha. Ok seriously what convinced me was when you mentioned the fast and slow twitch muscle toning, and improving neuromuscular connections.
      2. “What results do you hope to see?”
         1. This will definitely help you discover what lines to pitch to your prospects. For me, I hoped that EMS will help me play volleyball better and improve my neuro health. Oh and perhaps gain some abs!
7. Split Test Your Street Sign
   1. What is the most persuasive line for random walk-ins? Maybe it is, “Come in for your free 20-min session!”, or, “Better joints and better muscle tones”, or, “Minimum dose, maximum results workout!” 😉
8. Barter for a good PR
   1. A good PR is connected to all local media – TV, newspaper, radio. My friend got me on GlobalTV, CBC news, CBC radio, and the Vancouver Sun (to talk about alopecia), just by calling her usual contacts….contacts she built over the years. Find a PR with this type of influence in Victoria.
   2. Invite a bunch of good PR people individually for a free session. If they love EMS, barter a free membership in exchange for their service.
   3. Their fees are usually thousands a month, and if they are good they can get you repeated exposure – so this will be worth it!
9. Throw Mini Launch Parties
   1. If the PR can do this for you, that’s ideal!
   2. Invite a small group of reporters or influencers, who can mingle and experience EMS during the party.
   3. Throw several of these, so you are taking many small risks, learning from each one, and improving the next one.
   4. Having several parties also means that you’ll get a series of publicity.
10. Check out the Vancouver EMS studios. Not only will you learn from them, they can be your potential business buyer in the future.
11. Fill up your time slots however way possible, even if it’s free (e.g. from bartering or free trial). When you have as many new people in as possible, you can collect many data points and learn lots to help you going forward.
12. Think of ways to work with personal trainers
    1. Can they incorporate EMS into a session with their customers?
13. Send out follow-up emails to people who didn’t sign up. Find out why.
    1. Come up with counter points to help you refine your pitch to future customers.
    2. For example, compare to 1 on 1 personal trainer sessions, EMS is not expensive. Compared to crossfit, it’s also not expensive. Compare to the results you get in the time and effort put into exercising, it’s very much worth it.

I hope you find some of these points helpful 🙂

xoxo

Tanya

Steve has been cute. Saying all the sweet things to me, like I’m beautiful, I’m awesome, he is so looking forward to seeing me, he’s so glad we’ve met, etc.

It’s all just words for now, but I’m a sucker for nice words.

I get so horny just from that. And that he has such a toned body. And that he is so driven.

I’ve masturbated so many times. I think 3 times just today. 3 times yesterday. And even when I’m not masturbating, I’m day-dreaming about him. About making out with him.

I can’t wait! I can’t wait to kiss him and touch him.

But at the same time, I’m a bit worried. Worried that we are not sexually compatible.

I never worried about that before. Until Sam. He was a lousy kisser – his lips have no pressure. He had a tiny dick. What if Steve had something bad too! Or what if he is not happy with something about me?

I haven’t seen a topless photo of him. I do know that he has a tattoo on his shoulder though.

I hope we like kissing and making out with each other. I hope we are super into each other. I hope we also love each other’s naked bodies, and have amazing sex!!

He hasn’t been funny. Maybe cautious. Maybe he’s not funny. I don’t know…  but he is so gentle and sweet and, from what I can tell, honest, reliable, emotionally stable. And he is not boring. He is just not as weird or funny or playful as I’d want. But that’s ok. Right now I just need a gentle soul like him, to heal my wound. I appreciate him.

1. What to do next with the rings?
   1. I’ve learned a lot the past few days
   2. Define Knot Theory’s tone
   3. Define Knot Theory’s customer personas
   4. Update competitor research: Where are we at in this market place? What do our competitors have, what do they do? New comers?
   5. Based on above: What collections to come up with next? For men and women. What’s the story? What’s the packaging? What’s the differentiation?
   6. Talk to Martin about Pantone matching and opaqueness
   7. Follow up with Leo about rings
   8. Pinterest set up
   9. Website Email funnel set up
   10. Instagram shopping set up
   11. Blogging set up
   12. Marketing plan for each persona
   13. Hire a graphic designer for newsletter etc
   14. Hire a marketer to approach stores and gyms and websites
   15. Set up affiliate program
   16. Find a secondary supplier who can do advanced rings
   17. Motivate Janine. We need at least 10K audience. When that happens, she can get a bonus
2. What are the three products I want to explore?
   1. Glitter
      1. Differentiation: penis, biodegradable, our blend, story
      2. Same audience will also like: fanny pack
   2. Kegel balls
      1. Differentiation: color/style, packaging, story
      2. Some audience will also like: baby ear protection, diaper bag
   3. Baby ear protection
      1. Unicorn pink version
      2. Plastic version
      3. Baby elastic band version
3. Diaper bags – let’s see if the launch helps

I went to check out Steve’s EMS fitness studio yesterday!

It was very cool. So far I’ve been so impressed with this guy. And he is the sole owner! He did all this all by himself.

We were very polite. Not flirting really.

The buzzing from the EMS outfit made me laugh though. I felt like I was wearing a vibrator.

After the session, we talked for an hour before I realized it was already noon and had been parked one hour overdue.

Steve and I seem to get along really well. He is not especially funny so far, but we have fun.

I didn’t get an especially flirty vibe from him that day. I put a lot of time that morning into shaving my head, and putting on my make up. I showed up and he was shocked to see me in a mohawk…not in a bad way…in a neutral way I guess. But he didn’t make a comment about it. After I got home I thanked him for the session and said I’d take him out to dinner or lunch. He said he loved my energy and liked my smile. I guess Alex never wanted to compliment me on anything other than my smile. It’s the guys’ way of being more deep perhaps. Hahah.

I was pretty sore today from the EMS I think. I told him that. He said something not very funny in response. I said it could also be that I was using the super strong massager, and that thing was like a meat tenderizer. He asked “Don’t you need an operator for that?” I was…confused. Was he flirting with me? I said, “Maybe! It’s basically heavy-duty machinery.” That was super flirty of me.

He didn’t reply for the whole afternoon! I was starting to get anxious. It’s very weird. He usually replied right away. I second-guessed his flirting. Maybe he wasn’t flirting? Maybe I flirted too hard? Maybe he is on a date? Omg he could be seeing other people. Maybe he is not attracted to me and just wants to be friends?

At 9pm I started reading an article about How to not take things personally. Maybe this “be friends” thing isn’t gonna work. I’m taking this so personally.

Finally, I put my phone away and just lied there. I decided that, maybe he just had a busy day.

Just about then, he replied, “As a heavy duty mechanic by trade, I feel I’m qualified.”

WHEW. He WAS flirting! And he IS interested! Omg my insecurity.

He asked how my work is going, and he said he had a couple amazing meetings today and he can’t wait to tell me about them when we see each other again.

And then he told me that he checked out my alopecia video and thought I was awesome.

WHAAAT.

And then he said he told his mom to check it out too, and she was intrigued.

WHAAAAT!!!

He said I was special and he was glad that we met.

I wanted to cry. This guy is something else. Though so far Jeffry, Sam, and maybe Alex have all said I was special.

To think half hour ago I was in a state of pain, wondering if he liked me at all…and now learning that he likes me a lot.

I still think we shouldn’t be together, and I still don’t want to be together, because he is not funny and playful enough for me. And because he is tied to Victoria. And he kinda wants kids. These are all deal breakers.

But I would really like to spend time with him while I’m here in Victoria. I do really like him. And I want to make out with him so bad. His muscles turn me on so much. His arms. His just-the-right-size hips. His perfect height. I want to have great sex with him.