Already Patrick is changing me, and that shouldn’t be.
I messaged him yesterday and he hasn’t messaged back. He didn’t have to, but it was definitely the coldest way to handle it.
I have been exercising since I heard from him yesterday. I also stopped eating wheat and most of the non-paleo foods.
I also bought some intense moisturizers.
Sigh. I guess in some ways it’s good. I was losing the motivation to look good and stay healthy again. And while it kinda sucked that he didn’t message me back, it wasn’t on my mind too much.
I did dream about how we can hang out lots, go on dates, etc. But, I’m gonna stop doing that. Forget it. I’m not even gonna remind him when I get to Vancouver in 10 days. I’m not gonna go out of my way to get someone to come to me. I’m not gonna fantasize about him anymore.
I’ll enjoy time with him if it happens, but I’m not gonna make it a priority, or any priority.
Sigh. I know it’s kinda lame. But, I just don’t trust handing my heart to someone like him. Not at all.
It shouldn’t be this way. I shouldn’t have to drop my expectations so low when hanging out with anyone. I won’t do that. Not even for Patrick. I won’t tolerate disrespect.
Had my lesson with Josh. I suppose that was the reason why it happened. So that I can be more guarded. Thinking back booty call guys don’t give you a time. They think they can just drop by any time.
I wish, with all my heart, that the world loves me. That I get undivided attention. That I get spoiled for once. I think everyone wants that. ….At least I don’t hurt people. At least I try to be responsible and reliable. That’s not what some of these guys are like.
On the plus side, I’m so thrilled about the ring sales these days! 39 Amazon ring orders yesterday plus 1 bow tie; also a 6 bow tie order on KT, and 1 ring order from Etsy! Today, 39 rings sold on Amazon so far (11:17pm) and 3 from Etsy!
I’m so stoked that, in month 1, I made $4, and in month 2 (the past 30 days). I made $4492 + $4958 + $1,253 = $10,703 USD!!!! Plus $2.1K sales from Knotheory.com, which is about $1.2K profit. So $11.9K USD, (plus about $60 from Etsy) which is $14.9K CAD!!!! Holy amazing. I’m SO grateful and so happy!!!