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Wow, time flies. I’m 40.5 years old now.

At current trajectory, I’ll be doing 6 figure months this Xmas for sure.

1. Step Edge rings are arriving in about a week
2. Sales started to perform better than ever, with many days > 110 units (>$2000) on Amazon US + Amazon CA ($56k/month), > $500 in sales on Etsy ($8.5k/month), and knotheory.com doing around $5k/month, about $1k/month in Amazon EU. Overall doing about $70k/month the past 30 days. $65k/month the previous month. Just a few months ago we were doing around $48K/month.
3. But as of 6 days ago I switched to Elevate from Sellerlabs. Ads were turned on as of Friday, and I saw a sales drop right away. They did warn that, but I wasn’t expecting such a huge sales and profit drop (20% less sales, 30% less profit). Could be other factors too. e.g. there were many returns yesterday.
4. Hired a new VA, Ariane.

I have done a lot this year. I’m critical of myself, but really, I’ve done a lot. Even my critical self is secretly applauding haha.

I love my place. I love the view, the layout, the floors, my furniture, my plants (finally got all the bamboos!), my balcony, my trampoline, and my dark carpets even (tracked lots of soil onto it haha)!

I love having everything all tidied up either in the evening or morning. The place is so beautiful I want to keep it that way.

I think eventually I’ll want to move to a less noisy place, and a place where I don’t smell my neighbour doing molding laundry or their cooking (hit or miss) or cigarettes. Oh and less sun exposure (or, have the entire floor so I can move around).

Right now, everything has shut down and BC Place is just a piece of beautiful architecture. The traffic is still noisy, but I know it’ll get worse when things go back to normal.

Still, I wish that would happen soon. Mainly because, I have investments in malls. Sigh.

Ever since John came into my life, I feel that I’ve lost so much money and I have been more stressed out. Over stocks. Over him.

Overall, he’s just been such a negative thing in my life. There’s very little about him that is special that I must be with him. He is special, but not in ways that I appreciate.

I really don’t know what to do about him.

I have faith that things will work out for the better. For him and for me.

My investments are tied up. I don’t know if I would’ve made more or less if I never met him and never touched my stocks. But, I don’t want to dig into it to find out.

Mom lost a lot of money because of him…or, because of me relaying the info…but it’s her decisions after all. I feel like blaming him…but it’s not really his fault. Never intentionally anyway.

Ok, so, we’ve covered love and wealth.

Next, I want talk about health, and the future (happiness, fulfillment, influence, fame, control, manifestation).

I have some discoveries about my health:

1. Lots of sugar or carbs (e.g. lots of fries) make me feel bad physically (tired) and irritable even angry.
2. Sucralose makes me feel bad too. I think lazy and physically shitty the next day. I think it effects my nerves.
3. Cold showers make me happy
4. I have low blood pressure. Probably the reason why I sometimes need to lie down. This is a subject to dive deep into. It relates to autoimmune conditions, thyroid, diabetes, adrenals.
5. Acne is diabetes of the skin
6. Salt water seems to help me feel better and not need naps
7. Thyroid supplement also helps me feel and not need naps
8. Being out of breath during exercise is good for me. Makes me feel alive too.
9. My subconsciousness is influenced quite effectively by words I read. I can leverage this by reading positive words often!
10. Foot massage makes me feel better. Gets rid of jet lag or swollen discomfort that I sometimes get.
11. Fasting for 3 days feels shitty. I suspect it’s dehydration (which lowers my blood pressure).
12. I’m probably bad at controlling my blood sugar. A good diet, exercise, less stress, and good sleep are important.
13. Spotted prawn head soup seemed to make me feel good. Chitin? Calcium and other minerals? Cholesterol?
14. Either bioflavanoids + Vit C or cold showers have made my heavy period lighter.
15. I’m fat right now likely because I didn’t exercise during not-so-successful face acid peel. I’ll change that. I’ll get fit.
16. After so many attempts to take singular supplements, getting side effects such as headaches or mood issues (Vit A), I’ve decided to focus on natural supplements and high quality food.

I have forgotten that I have the ability to manifest! I won’t take all the credits. I want to thank all my gods for allowing me to live in my dream place!

I want to hone and maximize my ability to manifest. I am limitless.

I’m more successful than some, and less successful than some. That will never change.

I’m happy with where I am now, and I’m hungry to achieve even more!

I’m not going to place a glass ceiling on myself. I’m going to break through, and have a great, happy, fulfilled life. I also want to impact humanity positively.

The world is my oyster!

There’s so much I want to do.

I need more energy and focus. I’m working on these things, so that’s great!

What makes me happy? Being in love. I’ve never really been with someone that I truly love. I want to experience that. I want to be loved. I want to love. I want to be in this amazing, happy, love-filled awesome relationship.

What makes me feel fulfilled? When I create something very cool, very popular. When I level up. When I am an elite. When I get rewarded for it all.

Influence. I want influence. Influence makes everything easier. Gaining influence requires losing some freedom. I’m still thinking through how to make it work in a way that I like. I like freedom and I like influence. I’m sure there’s a happy medium for me.

Fame, same.

Control. I think most people workout to gain control. I don’t. But I do like having control. That’s why I don’t want kids. You can control what type of kids you get. That’s why it feels good to decorate and clean up the house. To dream up and design my future, the path I take, the businesses I create. That’s how I show I want to gain control. It’s interesting isn’t it? Same intention, totally different execution.

 

Some people don’t care for control, possibly. I wonder why. I wonder if there’s something that is the opposite that they value more. Such as, let things pan out on its own in a surprising way because it’s more …??? Interesting? Surprising? Optimized? Because there’s no use in worrying about it because we don’t actually have control over those things?

If  have the time and money, I’d totally be into VR right now. I should start. I have the time and money to start exploring. To know what is being done already.

I want to get things done. I want to stop being a perfectionist so much.

BUT. I also want this:

I want to do something in order to gain true value out of it.

In school, I’d be able to ace exams by memorizing a pattern to answer the questions. In applying for grants, I’d write a fake biz plan so I can submit it. Both of these actions don’t generate real value.

Acing exams are good, but a deep understanding of the subject is far more important.

Submitting a biz plan is better than not trying, but writing a fake biz plan is a waste of my time.

I need to be more real.

I need to value my time.

What am I doing now that is just “doing it to ace an exam”?

I guess I’m planning to generate crap in social media.

Don’t do that.

Generate something good. Something useful, entertaining, or is good for my goal of getting better at videos.

My competitors have these youtube videos. They are kinda clear marketing strategy. “Let’s write on this blank wall together”. So fake. I don’t want to do that.

Their videos are so polished too. Too polished. Now is a great time to have home made videos since we are all sitting at home

What are videos I can do?

1. Answer questions that ppl are asking about silicone rings – why wear it, how to size it
2. Talk about new collections – wear outfits to match, or intro mood board, or talk about origin (inspiration), and process (if it took many tries)
3. Talk about pairing many different rings
4. Talk about my story
5. Check what other successful product owners are doing. e.g. Huda. She is so big but is a one woman show!
6. A tour of my process and facility?
7. Up and coming services such as engraving
8. eco packaging (that’s not a whole video though)

I went for a run around the seawall again, at 7:30am or so.

I found a rosemary plant on the side of the road and wanted to bring it home. Haha.

Had a really fun day with Ty yesterday. John is so much less stimulating, and didn’t “hear” me. I got kinda upset at him last night.

Had a cold shower. Felt great.

I wanted to start working instead of meditating and thinkitating. But I did them anyway. Tomorrow, I’ll do them at 10pm instead.

My thinkitation revealed that: I gotta give and forgive in order to elevate my friend community.

I woke up too early around 5am. Loved the feeling of my bedsheet. Good mood. Slept some more so I have energy to hang out with Ty today. Masturbated.

Woke up again at 9:45!

But I went for a nice sprint, cold shower, excellent forgiveness medication, and thinkitated on how to be happy.

It was very brief because Ty is on his way…

Here are my thoughts:

I’m already on the right path.

Hang out with friends that make me happy.

Do fulfilling things.

 

Today I went for a run, cold shower, listened to Tom Biyeu, breathed (for around 5 minutes), and now it’s time to thinkiate.

The question I want to answer is, What do I do so that Bunny can be in a better state (of mind and wealth) and thus allowing me to be in a better state?

I thought about distancing myself from him. He is so depressing, so negative. He doesn’t always complain, but his thoughts are terrible.

When the stocks are up, he was happy, and so was I. We were good then.

But we can’t just rely our mood on stocks.

I feel that he is too impatient his whole life, desperately trying to make money fast. Even he feels stupid that he is always chasing money.

An analogy would be of him running so fast to get the money, wasn’t very careful, tripped and fell on his face, now he is behind, so he is even more anxious, and he is frantically running in pain.

If I were him, I would stop working at BMW, go to that Samurai Brotherhood group, meet people, find opportunities, explore as many jobs I want to do as possible, such as the ones in trading, and work towards getting those jobs.

Part of me feels that I shouldn’t be so controlling and influencing him.

Part of me feels that I should be more active in helping him because his happiness is good for my happiness.

I suppose the best middle is to guide him but let him choose.  Leave him if I must. Be like a teacher.

I will focus on understanding in order to guide him.

His biggest goal is to have enough money that he doesn’t have to worry about it.

In order to do that, he probably needs passive income.

Another way to achieve that is through owning his own business.

The way he believes he’ll make millions is through investing.

I think he wants to save up money, then invest in something.

Passive income, new business – these all require time to build up. I guess they can be stressful too.

Selling BMW – that’s mega stressful from the sounds of it.

His choices aren’t the worst. There’s reasoning behind them.

It’s just that he is so mega stressed out, it worries me.

He is always stressed out ever since I met him.

—

I didn’t come up with much during thinkitation, but the next day he was feeling so much better. I think all he needs is someone to say, you’re doing great! And, I’m here for you if you need me.

 

First launch would be the magic purple ring.

1. Create images and a good name for it – update listings
2. Create a cool coming soon pop up on the website
3. Create a cool website slider for this new arrival
4. Create a new arrival section on the website menu
5. Create a cool IG feed – 3×3 grid
6. Research all the great hashtags
7. Join hashtag groups
8. Create videos – simple ring rotation for coming soon story in FB/IG; simple one of me squeezing it; also add to Amazon listing and Etsy videos
9. Reach out to influencers on tiktok and IG with these videos, get them to make more videos or just rave about it. They get free ring, they get commish.
10. Document launch sequence so we can replicate this
11. Write a blog and include all this media and keywords
12. Send out email using basically this blog
13. Create FB Test Track group to announce the ring along the way

Had my first thinkitation after some box breathing! Felt very good! I did strike gold! Tom Bilyeu is great.

Question I asked: How do I make the most of my time right now?

Answer: Marketing

I thought it’d be more spiritual, but I think marketing will lead me into cool places.

I also basked myself in GuanYin’s warmth. I feel loved.

I also visualized making $2MM from my investment in the near future, and giving Bunny $300K. I promised to put $100K aside for charity. I’ll be mindful of charities to donate to.

I had a cool idea for the 3D engraving tool: using the magnetic screw driver as the attachment – for a magnetic puzzle attachment to the engraver that James suggested. Screwing in is old school and secure, but magnetic puzzle is quicker and more fun.

I also promised to keep a routine, like Tom Bilyeu does. That’s a good way to stay focused and productive.

I really enjoyed the breath work and the thinkitation. And I enjoy exercising/running in the morning the past two days. Definitely onto something.

For marketing, I’ll strategize, make a plan.

There are many areas I want to advance steadily in:

1. Launch in an enticing, exciting way – FB group, PR, influencers, email to customers
2. Be a very lively brand  – always updating with new stuff, always fun – e.g. sign up for our newsletter and get notified on our next new release (a countdown to show the next drop)
3. Use engraving as a way to keep releasing new rings – monthly, limited edition
4. Make many videos, get good at making them – by making them regularly.
5. Hire helpers for this consistent update, including: engraving, advertising, social media update, influencer outreach, video artists. Make sure my time is spent strategizing, making sure we are moving forward at the right pace and in the right direction.
6. Connect to influencers in a long-lasting mutually beneficial way
7. Evaluate and improve FB advertising
8. Communicate with our customers in a meaningful and constructive way – more heart, more feedback
9. By the end of this year, we would have an impressive portfolio, and will reach out to big names, such as Tom Bilyeu, NASA, Canadian Air Force, Tesla, Aura rings for collaborations.
10. Have many mini collections: animal signs (go further, have various breeds of dogs and exotic animals), horoscopes, constellations, birthstones, wisdom from countries (wise foreign words), I love [city/country], LGBT, current news (e.g. One Love, Black Lives matter), self signalling (omg so many words; reference single word tattoos; e.g. matrix), cityscapes / mountain-scapes,  meaningful or funny logos (1*, moustache, unique snowflakes), various cool planes (e.g. blackbird), time or geo coordinates, hashtags (funny or wise; e.g. #1, #matrix), lyrics / quotes / idioms, identity words (badass, rebel, growth), holidays and special occasions (best mom, best dad), see Etsy for more customization inspo
11. Encourage 2 engravings because they don’t last forever. 1 for $10 to $12, 2 for $18 to $20.
12. Set up monthly major milestones. These are musts.

Ok, I will always take 1 action to get this started!

The action is: Create a launch plan!

 

In the next 12 months or less, Knot Theory will be doing >$1M USA in revenue. I can feel it.

We are growing on Amazon, Etsy, Shopify. We’ll be expanding to Walmart.com and Sprocket.

We are adding 80% more SKUs.

Will be doing ads with Cyndi.

Will be doing more ads on Etsy.

Will be doing videos on Amazon, our website, and Tiktok.

Will be revamping our IG feed.

Will be doing engraving.

Will be creating a group called Knot Theory Test Track.

I’m all settled down in Vancouver, not travelling this year. This is the year of expansion!!

The past 30 days revenue:

Amazon US: $45K USD

Amazon CA: $10K CAD ($7.5K USD)

Amazon EU: $1.2K USD

Etsy: $7K USD

Knotheory.com: $4K USD

Total: $65K USD = $88.76K CAD

If we keep this up, this is $1M CAD / year already!

I have a feeling we’ll do even better than this. If we do 30% better, we’ll be doing $1M USD  / year.

I really want to join the million dollar sellers club as soon as possible. Hopefully less than 1 year from now.

So I need to look for ways to double, triple our sales.

I think in the next 3 months we can grow to:

Amazon USA: $60K/month

Amazon CA: $10K/month

Amazon EU: $2K/month

Etsy: $10K/month

Knotheory.com: $6K/month

Walmart USA & CA + Sproket: $2K/month

Total: $90K/month

That’s a 38% growth target.

I’m anticipating 25% growth from SKU growth, and 25% from engraving and boosted videos, ads effort and ad spend.

 

I have been so immensely stressed about my stocks (and mom’s) and I can’t shake that feeling!

At one point, all the stocks that John had advised me to buy, had made $1M CAD in total.

That was less than 3 weeks ago.

Now, they are down to maybe $200K.

And they might keep going down. Sigh.

I kick myself for not selling them at that point.

I even felt that they would come down.

I guess I was afraid to miss it going up even higher.

But seriously, $1M! I should’ve taken the profit.

I’ve been trying to so hard to not feel stressed and sad about this, but sometimes my whole body goes numb all over again.

I feel immense loss for the loss of profit.

I know I need to look forward instead of backward.

Fucking second wave. I hate it!

How I wish it’d all come back.

I was so greedy, hoping for $2M.

When the going is good, I expect great.

I should know that I’m blessed already.

I’m here in Victoria. Guan Yin scripture beside me.

She was there for me when I first started making money with the rings. I always feel so appreciative and watched after when I’m in the scripture’s presence.

This helped some.

I have faith that everything will be great!!!

I’ve been going through that phase again…that phase of thinking about what’s important in life, how do I want to live my life, and how to achieve these goals in life.

I was about to brainstorm on some deep thoughts and jot down some deep notes and goals in my notebook. Just before doing so, I flipped over the notebook to see what I wrote in it before.

Damn, it was existential moment in 2016, 2017, 2018….hahaha

Here I thought it was my big 40 that triggered this moment.

Most of my goals haven’t come true yet…and I don’t know if I still want to achieve them.

I recently watched the Passengers, and re-realized that life is a journey to find love. If you find love, you are whole.

On the other hand, I no longer feel that a relationship that lasts forever is the end all be all. Just share those special moments together during the years we have together, and it’s a relationship worth having in our lifetime.

These two totally different concepts exist within me simultaneously. How could that be?

Love is everything, love is the goal…but, if it cannot be found or does not last forever, it’s ok. I think that’s what I believe.

I remember a time when I dreamed and dreamed of finding a soulmate. I prayed, I begged, I cried.

I was so eager to consider a guy to be potential soulmate.

---

I went to the Pacific Spirit Park today. I decided that I won’t rely on Bunny to keep me company anymore.

Last time I saw him was last weekend. He didn’t make plans with me this weekend.

On the way to the park, he called. To tell me about Macy’s stock.

He learned that I was going to the park. He asked if I wanted to go over for dinner. I said no. I said I’ve been so lonely, and he needs more alone time than I do, so I’ll just learn to handle it without him.

As usual, he said don’t be sad, and that I can call him if I change his mind. And let me go.

I wished that he would come to me at the park. That’s the kind of urgency and passion I want in a guy. But he is not like that. He is passive.

He is so far from what I want. I’m not happy with him. Never. Except on my birthday.

So I cried. I walked around in the park for an hour, cried more on the way home and after coming back.

I numbed myself with Netflix. The Russian Sci Fi about robots is pretty good.

It’s now 11:30pm. I bet he’ll call at around midnight.

But it doesn’t matter if he does. I’ve given up on him this time.

We’ll stay in touch because I lent him $20K and he is managing my $120K. But, I really need to move on. He is not good for me.

I’m more often sad than not when I’m with him. Or angry.

I hate that I have so much money tied up with him. I hate that I even listened to him and imported those stupid door openers. I hate that we met.

I’m so sad.

So unusually sad.

Why?

Is it justified? Or is it something else?

Food? All that brie cheese?

Stress from Shopify?

It doesn’t matter now.

He is stressed too and that will never change. He might have been a better boyfriend if he wasn’t so stressed, but, he is stressed.

Just my luck.

Just our luck.

Sigh.

I want to be happy. I want to be productive. I want to be in love with someone who is in love with me back, in a way that I understand.

I just finished crying over my losses over SHOPIFY.

Let’s focus on the lessons learned and how I can rectify this situation next week.

Next week, my plan:

1. Wake up at 6pm, buy in when low, sell when high. In and out quick. Repeat.
2. Toward closing, don’t buy. Too risky to leave ’til next day.
3. On April 23, see if Amazon has good news. If so, buy more SHOP. If bad news, hold.

Lessons learned:

1. More compassion for Bunny’s loss of his entire asset.
2. Appreciation for Mom and Bunny trying to tell me to not worry
3. Remember to love myself.
4. Remember to let go. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn valuable lessons.
5. Many lessons about trading.
   1. Need to talk to thinkorswim about putting a limit on my actions in case of error. No naked calls!
   2. Be creative.
   3. Think about what to do if high, and what to do if low. Also consider velocity (going high fast? buy)
   4. See if can buy more than 500 shares of SHOP, over my “limit”
   5. Remember, could’ve just profit enough to over the strike price + premium. Buy at $556 or lower.
   6. Remember, just needed to make enough money to buy back the options.
   7. Remember, you can short it. But I think it’ll keep going up unless Amazon doesn’t do well this quarter.